How would you react to a very close friend and mother of a same aged baby (16 months) telling you “your baby is very sensitive, don’t be upset, he’ll grow out of it”.
I’m really taken aback by my friend saying this. Maybe I’m being a precious first time mum, but I think my little guy is such a sweetie. He’s definitely cautious, a shy smiler, a sharer (mostly to hand something to another child to avoid a confrontation), a light sleeper, easily startled, and seems to get overwhelmed by other kids after some time (ie will play for up to an hour but after that, he’s over it). He’s been like this since the moment he popped out.
I have been trying to reduce the duration of play dates with my friend’s baby, who is also a sweetie but at times can be very loud screaming, and is a hitter and snatcher. I know this is developmentally normal behaviour, I can just see my son, initially excited to see his buddy, grow quickly tired of him. In the absence of my friend putting up boundaries to stop some of her son’s more negative behaviours (direct hitting), I sometimes make excuses and leave.
My friend seems to think I’m deserving of sympathy for my son’s temperament. I previously brushed it off but it’s really starting to frustrate me after receiving a long message from her about the “challenges” of “sensitive children” and that she’s “always here to listen”. The dilemma is, I have no problem with my child’s behaviour or temperament and am triggered by the assumption that he needs to change.
How do I respond to her without losing my cool and making this a baby comparison ?