Newborn won't sleep

[bunnymum96]

My dd is 5 weeks old today and we feel like we are completely failing. She sleeps okay in the night (sleeps in next to me crib, goes down okay, has full bottles of 5oz). She can sleep up to 4+ hours in the night in one stretch.

However, in the day time she just does not sleep, or not much. She might have 30 mins or so every 4+ hours. She can regularly go 4-5 hours without any sleep. We have tried to establish a routine with changing/feeding/burping and rocking and she drifts off but wakes herself screaming and is then awake until the next feed. She seems to sleep very lightly and when we stop rocking she wakes up for hours. She will not be put down at all, we try 4/5 times each time, once we have settled her. We use slings and she sleeps but wakes herself up so often, and she sleeps on walks in pram but wakes often and then as soon as we return home.

She is bottle-fed, and has anything from 2 1/2 oz-5 oz every 2-3 hours. We use colic bottles, burp for ages, do massage, use Infacol.

The days are just becoming impossible, it has been like this for weeks and weeks now. We both hurt from the constant holding and rocking/bouncing, and her screaming in the day is making me so anxious I feel like I can't look after her properly. We don't go anywhere as she just cries/screams, and feel like we have to explain the situation to all our visitors.

Have you tried a sling? Mine wouldn’t sleep without being held.

Sorry just realised you said you use slings. Does she wake up when you stop moving or there is a loud noise?

Are you sure she is actually waking up? Babies go through active sleep where they are asleep but don't look it, so if you thrn disturb them it does wake them up.

How is she in the car/pushchair? 5 weeks old, awake window should be no kore than 60mins and you need to be trying to settle her before the tired cues start

Is she in pain?

You said she's screaming, maybe there's something else going on that's stopping her from sleeping.

Yeah, pretty much as soon as we stop moving/with any noise.

Do you swaddle her and use white noise?

she may be startling herself awake which would be solved with swaddling

We wondered this and do try to leave her a few minutes. We then try again once the full on crying/screaming starts and her eyes are wide open.

This is my fear really, but she's been checked by midwives and HV and otherwise presents completely fine. The screaming can be piercing though. Its our first baby and we feel so out of depth

We do at night, but not in the day. How would you do this if she needs to be held all the time? (play white noise on phone?)

In that case, she needs constant movement to sleep. Mine was the same so I know how hard it is.
I would walk around my flat and as soon as I sat down PING he was awake! So try to keep moving. I realise tho you may not want to do this for all naps because it is physically tiring.
At this age baby will sleep if the environment is similar to your womb. So either contact naps (baby sleeps on your chest and you lay in bed) or movement (buggy or sling.) White noise also helps.
It will get easier as she gets a bit older but for now just try and mimic the environment of your womb.

I remember something similar and when I looked at everything, I was leaving way too long between naps - once I started timing it all I realised that she was getting over tired. I used the Huckleberry app for a while which did help.

All 3 of mine would only nap for 30-40 mins at a time at that age. I read something that that amount of time is the length of one sleep cycle. I think it is quite normal but very frustrating.

If she sleeps without movement in the night then she should be able to do that in the day - try putting her down in her next2me crib? White noise? Dark room?

If you swaddle at night but not during the day it sounds as though that could be the difference, can't you put her down for a nap in the same way you do at bed time? Swaddled and in the next to me?

But I do know someone else who’s baby hardly sleeps in the day but sleeps well at night. To be fair for the majority that are the opposite I’m sure their parents would say you guys are better off haha

what about a vibrating swing chair/bouncer?

You can still swaddle them on the move, either in their pram or while you’re holding them. She might just like the feeling of security.

id create a little routine every time you’re putting her to sleep - nappy change, swaddle, white noise, dummy (if you use one). Keep an eye on wake windows and start the mini routine when you’re going to put her to sleep.

but honestly, sometimes you just have to do what works - if she needs movement to sleep then you might just need to keep on walking around until she’s asleep!

Does she draw her legs up when she screams? Do you get the feeling she's in agony or just furious?

If it was my baby I would be trying to leave it longer between feeds and making feeds a bit bigger. I'd also wake her to feed at 7 and open a window/take her nappy off to see if you can stretch out the awake time until she's really ready to nap but not overtired. Same time every morning. Then early afternoon nap in the fresh air.

I'd use a swaddle and hammock in case she's waking herself up by moving and the hammock is an easier position if her tummy is delicate. I'd also watch out carefully for constipation and always check things like too cold, eye lash inverted, scratchy label because of course she can't let you know.

But none of this might be right for you and you're already aceing it in my opinion!

I would be wary of a sling because she will get heavier soon and you'll have a new problem if that's her bag. Just my feeling on it.

We find gripe water the best for colic.

It's so good she sleeps at night well.

It could be that she needs movement, but it could also be silent reflux - you mentioned piercing screams. People will often say it can't be if they sleep through the night but ime that's simply not true. My DD has slept through since 10 weeks but was (and to some degree, still is) a horrible napper. It's been much better since she went on prescription formula for cmpa and omeprazole for reflux.

My son was like this. It was oesophageal reflux. The screams were horrendous- omeprazole and carobel helped with the pain.
I found holding him up for 20-30 mins after a feed helped his milk stay down and he settled better for a nap after that

Fourth trimester. Utterly normal.

What is it that you think she should be doing sleep-wise in the day? My two babies hardly slept in the day and didn't get into a long reliable nap routine until they were about 6 months old. So we were out walking, in all weathers, with the sling or pram for hours. It did help me lose all the baby weight!

I'm sure you're not but is there any chance she's overstimulated? I'd get rid of anything that makes a noise etc and keep it really low key and chilled.

Also having re read I wonder if you're possibly leaving it too long to put her down for a morning nap?

But out there but I've known people have really good success with cranial osteopathy.

If you had six children, she would probably not get picked up as quickly when she stirs. I know you've tried leaving her but I wonder if you're still coming back a bit too soon. Maybe not. You could also try laying your hand on her chest although that could make her even crosser but worth a try.

It sounds like she has colic, OP.

It’s really common at her age but often passes by about 12 weeks when their little digestive systems settle down. Unfortunately there’s not an awful lot you can do apart from walk her round and burp her etc when she is crying.

However, what you do now will have a big effect on where you’ll find yourself in a few weeks/months when the colic passes.

Keep your routine, do NOT ‘wear’ her all the time so she ends up only able to sleep on you, make sure she still has time in her cot on her own. Try to get her to settle herself to sleep. Don’t go to her straight away when she starts to cry - just give her a minute to see if she settles.

People hate her on here, but Gina Ford has good advice. Keep to a routine now so you don’t end up developing poor sleep habits.

(I’ll be slated for this by the way, but 🤷‍♀️, it’s good advice)

If it hasn’t been suggested I used a joie Serina swing with my third was a life saver would highly recommend