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Original poster

4 year old not listening

10 replies

Pob13 · 25/10/2022 18:44

DS is nearly 4, and the past month has been awful with him not listening. It was just at home but now it has started at preschool. He seems to have taken the role of class clown.
We really dont know how to handle it. We have told him he must listen to adults, especially when they are giving instructions. Im tempted to ignore him so he knows what it feels like, but think that is probably beyond a 4 year olds understanding.

He says he doesnt want to listen because he wants to do funny things. His "funny" things are generally silly or naughty behaviour but we dont like to use the word naughty.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

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MolliciousIntent · 25/10/2022 21:42

What are the consequences for not listening? Does he get enough time to be silly?

Original poster
Pob13 · 25/10/2022 21:59

We are way too soft on him which I think has now back fired. He definitely has enough time to be silly and be himself. We struggle to know how to "punish" poor behaviour.

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MolliciousIntent · 26/10/2022 09:56

Ok so give us some examples and we can brainstorm some consequences.

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4 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
Original poster
Pob13 · 26/10/2022 19:58

Thank you.
Not listening when he is watching his tablet. We should just take the tablet away shouldnt we.

Ignoring us when we ask him to do something, eg get in the car, get his shoes on.

Trying to make us laugh when we are trying to be serious.

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AshGirl · 26/10/2022 20:18

We use 'eyes up' to get attention when DS is on his tablet. I think devices are very absorbing and it's hard to pull your attention away to listen to an instruction.

Also, do you expect him to switch between being silly and goofing around, into serious and listening? That can be a hard transition.

The book, How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen may be helpful as well

Good luck Flowers

MolliciousIntent · 26/10/2022 20:20

Pob13 · 26/10/2022 19:58

Thank you.
Not listening when he is watching his tablet. We should just take the tablet away shouldnt we.

Ignoring us when we ask him to do something, eg get in the car, get his shoes on.

Trying to make us laugh when we are trying to be serious.

Yes, take the tablet away. Why does a 4yr old have a tablet anyway?

Original poster
Pob13 · 26/10/2022 21:05

@AshGirl thankyou. We will try eyes up.

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Original poster
Pob13 · 26/10/2022 21:06

@MolliciousIntent he has a tablet because we are weak parents.

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 26/10/2022 21:09

Luckily at 4 you've still got lots of time to turn it around. Tablets are appalling for behaviour.

When you want him to listen to you, get his attention, make eye contact, clearly state the expectation, give him once chance to comply, then enact an immediate consequence. Do this every single time and never ever cave.

Duttercup · 26/10/2022 21:09

Pob13 · 26/10/2022 19:58

Thank you.
Not listening when he is watching his tablet. We should just take the tablet away shouldnt we.

Ignoring us when we ask him to do something, eg get in the car, get his shoes on.

Trying to make us laugh when we are trying to be serious.

If you're watching something, do you immediately shift your full attention if someone starts speaking to you? It's not a realistic expectation.

The last one... I don't know, what are you trying to have serious conversations with your 4 year old about?!

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