Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Right - i need some serious help/advice! - mumsnetters PLEASE help me, or i ship my boys off to boot-camp real soon!!!

12 replies

QueenofVenus · 28/01/2008 11:37

My boys are 7.5 and 5, i have also a 2.5 year old daughter too, and they all have separate rooms, my eldest gets up in the middle of the night and wakes up ds2, and they scream and shout ands giggle and play with lego etc and so wake up dd, my dp got in from his friends at 1.30am on friday night(or i guess sat morning!) and came in to find ds1 playing on the sims on the pc, and said he was ok thanks, he didnt feel like being in bed right now! and of course he had to go and wake ds2 up and they were both down here, this has been going on for well over a year, but in the last couple of months, has been getting much much worse, i was woken at 3am this morning to all 3 of them in my daughters room chucking her toys about and winding her up, now i have tried everything, initially when it all started, i told them off and then i rewarded them if they stayed in bed i have even bribed them both (im not proud of that) NOTHING works, and yes i do admit, that i have only occasionaly smakced there little butts and put them back to bed and they have been yelling and crying and ive left with a "you better stay there or i WILL come back and smack your buts again!" i barely even get back into bed before i can hear them up and going for each other again! - im going out of my mind! Dp went in this morning and sorted them out and said if they get up again he would take away their favourite toys for 3 days, but they stayed there for 5 minutes, and then were up again, and so he took the toys and they yelled about it, but then 5 minutes later they were up and squeeling at each other again - NOTHING we do makes any impact at all! im so fed-up with their behavior its unreal! They truly truly couldnt give a crap what me or dp do, they ignore us and do what they like anyway! If you can help or give us ANY advice i will be very very grateful! Otherwise im shipping them off to boot-camp!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
calzone · 28/01/2008 11:42

OK, stop with the smacking as it is obviously not working.

I think you need to spend some serious quality time with ds1 and explain calmly what is expected of him as this cannot go on.

Get rid of any PC or TV in his bedroom and stop access on the home PC so he cannot start it himself. He is going to have to earn time on it by behaving himself.

Give him options of what he can do when he wakes up. Reading, playing quietly in his room. Waking up ds2 and dd is not acceptable and he will lose PC time.

Bribing is not wrong. We have sticker charts atm. DS2 earns a sticker by staying bed all night and not coming into us. 30 stickers will get him a present (he can earn extra stickers by good behaviour)

ds1 earns stickers by not doing his silly baby voice and not whinging about the food put in front of him.

what about a gate on dd's room so she cannot get out.

I think they need to be more tired too so how about a run in the park after school so they are exhausted?

will keep thinking.

ssd · 28/01/2008 11:43

ship them off!

no solutions, nightmare sleeping wise here too!

GooseyLoosey · 28/01/2008 11:44

For a start, remove pc from anywhere that ds1 can have unsupervised access to it, especially at night.

Seems that your problem is really only with ds1 and the others just follow along.

What is ds1's currency - ie whaat does he value most of all? If you can identify that (eg time on the play station), you could set up an arrangement where it becomes a reward for staying in his bedroom all night and not waking up his siblings.

Ds (4.6) sometimes does this and wakes dd (3) up. We have a very hard line about any noise in the house before 7 am and about waking siblings up. We are prepared to sit in the hall and enforce it if necessary. That said, I do accept that ds cannot sleep for 12 hours on occasion and therefore if he is awake, he is allowed to play quietly in his room and on the whole he is very good about this.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

YouKnowNothingOfTheCrunch · 28/01/2008 11:44

I would keep taking things away. Not for any set time but until they are earned back (three nights undisturbed sleep gets one item back). Keep putting them back into bed and do not engage with them or talk to them at all while doing it. It'll be exhausting while you do it but will be worth it. Each night they disturb take one thing away (and I don't mean a game, I mean the game console!). They'll learn!

QueenofVenus · 28/01/2008 11:44

Thanks calzone - some good ideas, i think i need to do a parenting course or something!

OP posts:
QueenofVenus · 28/01/2008 11:56

Some good ideas - thanks, gooseyloosey - your right it IS ds1 who starts it all off, ds2 would set himself on fire if ds1 told him too! I have to say i have got to the point now where we have almost taken everything they hold dear away! they only have their computers left - Xbox, Wii, DS, pc, good idea to ration these! - why oh why didnt i think of that!

OP posts:
calzone · 28/01/2008 12:10

Don't ration.

take them all away now and sit down with ds1 and tell him why you have done it.

His behaviour is NOT acceptable and you and Daddy are exhausted because of his behaviour.

If he can stay in his bedroom quietly til 7.30am without disturbing anyone then he will earn half an hour of 'whatever'.

(sounds like they have a lot of games and stuff and am wondering, if he plays them in the evening, if this is messing with his head and waking him up more!)

when does he play these games?

bamamama · 28/01/2008 12:22

youknownothingofthecrunch - fab name!

this is an outrage....

sorry QueenofVenus, good luck with your dcs

QueenofVenus · 28/01/2008 12:25

He plays with them for an hour when he gets home from school, sometimes a little longer. Then he has tea and a bath then a story and bed, all three have the same routine every night! Have tried letting ds1 staying up longer, but he still gets up, ds2 isnt entirely without blame, i have on occasion caught him waking ds1 up and causing chaos! They are truly wearing me to madness!

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 28/01/2008 12:29

We also allow ds to stay up half an hour longer than dd if he has been good. This time is spent in reading his favourite book of the moment with him and is a real treat. If he is not good, he goes to bed at the same time as dd and loses his 1 to 1 time. Would this work at all with ds1?

calzone · 28/01/2008 12:32

You are going to have to do your own boot camp then.

Strict strict strict. and no caving in.

DS1 loses EVERYTHING til he behaves himself and helps you out with this.

He is old enough to know better..

QueenofVenus · 28/01/2008 12:51

Lol thanks girls! i will have to sit and devise a plan or two while at kids club this afternoon! xx

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread