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Parenting

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DSS (18) lying and leaving mess

10 replies

KathyLoves · 25/10/2022 14:33

My 18 year old DDS has always been a people pleaser and (as a result) lies (a lot). His dad (DP) handles the parenting for him with his exwife (different style- far less strict than I am with my kids so easier to just let him to things his way).

Complaints this week about DSS:

  • food in his room have attracted mice (again!). He told me there was one in his bed yesterday when he came home. I said if you make the bed at least you'll be able to see it easily next time. Its clearly from him bringing food into his room and hiding it under the bed to avoid being caught. A few times a month DP does a proper clear out of the room and will find loads of fast food wrappers. DSS will always lie about it. If he's confronted he'll get upset but still won't own up. With the mice - DP in relying on my 10 year old cat to sort out the problem 😑
  • he has a terrible habit of not flushing, leaving skidmarks and (weirdly) leaving used cotton buds (earwax) lying around the house. For ear swab, usually he leaves them in normal places (like the bathroom) but today he left a few soiled ones on the banister. I'm almost certain that he has been in my makeup cabinet to get them because the ones in the family bathroom ran out. (No point in asking cause the whole thing will be denied.) Not happy if DSS is now going through my stuff knowingly...

What would you do? I've been refusing to pick up after an (almost) adult and scrub shit stains that have no reason of being there except laziness (it's been like this for years). Currently I'm reporting back to DP and he cleans up and decides what action to take...

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 25/10/2022 14:35

I would hit the roof and go through to space if a child had caused a mice infestation in my home due to leaving food around

KathyLoves · 25/10/2022 14:38

Quitelikeit · 25/10/2022 14:35

I would hit the roof and go through to space if a child had caused a mice infestation in my home due to leaving food around

I grew up in the countryside so the odd mouse doesn't bother me but this is not normal. DP is very concerned about the mice but so far is putting his head in the sand beyond hoping the cat will sort it (she can't stand DSS so there's no way she'll be in there hunting) but it's not dealing with the cause of it either!

Okay, maybe it's not fair to blame DSS but they're not in the kitchen they're in his bedroom so it seems obvious that he's the cause.

OP posts:
Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 25/10/2022 14:40

Fill his bed with mouse traps. Honestly he needs banning from your HOME until he evolves... And if dh won't man the fuck up and sort him out he can follow him.

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FlorettaB · 25/10/2022 14:41

Unless your cat is in the habit of bringing in love mice and then losing interest in them, it’s likely that you have a few mice not just one. You need traps down and your DH needs to check the room daily if your DSS can’t be trusted.

FlorettaB · 25/10/2022 14:42

LIVE mice.

Worthyornot · 25/10/2022 14:47

There is no way I would ever want someone else's children living in my home and putting up with this. Not any man is worth this. Your dp cleans after an 18yo?? He sounds as useless as his son.

Bridge2far · 25/10/2022 14:47

You're going to get told you have a dp problem

KathyLoves · 25/10/2022 14:52

FlorettaB · 25/10/2022 14:41

Unless your cat is in the habit of bringing in love mice and then losing interest in them, it’s likely that you have a few mice not just one. You need traps down and your DH needs to check the room daily if your DSS can’t be trusted.

Indoor cat. Not on her at all.

Funnily enough the disgusting ear wax things are bothering me so much more today because that's deliberate. The mice is him being an idiot again and at least he's completely grossed out by it too since finding one in the bed (and me telling him they shit constantly and can't control it).

OP posts:
KathyLoves · 25/10/2022 14:53

Bridge2far · 25/10/2022 14:47

You're going to get told you have a dp problem

That's okay! Ha.

OP posts:
KathyLoves · 25/10/2022 14:54

Worthyornot · 25/10/2022 14:47

There is no way I would ever want someone else's children living in my home and putting up with this. Not any man is worth this. Your dp cleans after an 18yo?? He sounds as useless as his son.

Better than me doing it but yes, don't understand why he's not cleaning up after himself.

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