Does sleep training always work?

[Flopsy88]

Hi,
I was wondering if anyone has ever tried sleep training and it didn't work. We're planning to start tonight with our 8.5mo and I'm dreading it. I know it's going to be awful but if it's definitely going to help then I think I can handle the temporary pain! We're trying the wave method in the Happy Sleeper book but it's basically Ferber but going in every 5 minutes.

Please don't judge! I never wanted to do this, it feels so cruel but I'm just so tired. He slept through the night until the 4 month sleep regression and has since been waking every 1-2 hrs. We've had the occasional good night when he's managed a 4hr stretch but otherwise it's just been getting worse. We've tried moving bedtime earlier/later, dropping a nap etc, nothing has helped. He's never been able to settle himself and we can only put him down when he's fast asleep. He's either breastfed or rocked to sleep at bedtime but when he wakes in the night only boob will settle him. He's definitely not hungry cos he falls back to sleep straight away so I know it's the sucking association. I don't think is going to improve without some intervention to help him learn to settle himself (at least not for a long time- I do realise he won't be feeding to sleep when he's 21). So I'm just looking for some reassurance that we won't be putting him (and us) through this for no reason!

We had another good night! It took 15 minutes for him to fall asleep. He wasn’t crying so much as shouting a bit which was still hard but slightly easier to cope with. He woke for a feed at 11pm and then slept through until 7am. I honestly can’t believe it! I really missed him though. I’m used to seeing him every hour and then waking up with him in our bed most mornings. We’ve been watching the baby monitor like it’s a TV!

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy We’re following the plan in The Happy Sleeper book which is to go in every 5 minutes. I didn’t like the idea of increasing intervals as per the Ferber method because 20 minutes felt too long. But to be honest I think us going in winds him up more when he’s starting to settle, so perhaps that’s why Ferber does this

Aw that's great it is going so well.
Ok good to know, I will think about it. I am such a gentle soft parent sometimes but I do think my second son may be ok with it. He can self settle occasionally anyway but it's in bed with me and I want him in the cot now. He's 11 months old

So pleased it seems to have made such an improvement!

My first DS also wouldn't tolerate us staying in the room so we used the Ferber method and that worked and he's been a great sleeper since

My second DS preferred the gradual retreat so I think all babies are different!

Also to warn you there will be a few more sleep regressions ahead and we found techniques that used to work, stopped (the 2 year regression nearly killed us!) so we did have to adapt as we went forwards.

Good luck!

This is us at 6 months. I don’t know if in a way I have accidentally sleep trained. I started to realise if he was fussing and I went to him too soon to put his dummy back in that he would spit it back out and escalate.

So yesterday I left it to go through the escalating of the cough cough cry until it started to space out and essentially get tired of crying before giving the dummy. It only took a few minutes.

And Lo and behold last night was the first night he has self settled / linked sleep cycles in an age!! Still woke twice but much better than the hourly/ 2 hrs waking we were getting before.

7.30 bed 11.30 wake, 3.30 wake and finally a 6.30 wake.

I really hope it wasn’t a fluke and he is learning the skill.

If it worked this well it sounds like you have cracked it. My first child, with whom it worked, was exactly like this. My second never got anywhere with it.
We had a few weeks of one wake up per night (down from 12) then 12 hour blocks, sleeping through every night, which has now carried on for years.