Tips for going from 1 to 2 children

[2020firsttimemum]

Exactly that - what are your top tips or (helpful) advice from going from one child to 2

DS will be 2 1/2 when his baby sister comes along and I'm sh*tting it a little bit! DS isn't the type to want to play on his own for very long - he likes 'helping' around the house and playing with mummy and daddy.

I have no doubts he will want to help out with his little sister when she's born; but what are your tips or what did you find useful when making the jump!

1. Get a double buggy if you’re going out regularly on your own with them. Measure its width to check it will fit through most doors
2. I got DC1 a doll so he could put himself in the caregiver role instead of seeing his sister as competition for my attention. He doesn’t play with it often but it did the job. I gave it to him immediately when I came back from hospital so he got a new baby too.
3. Simplify everything you can.

Good luck!

Routine and planning. Pack a bag the night before, get into a morning/breakfast routine, get out each day even just an hour at the library.

Baby #1 as a newborn was the centre of your life. Constantly held, naps to a routine or permanently attached to you, feeding long and slow, quiet and slow mornings slowly getting ready for the day etc.

Baby #2 sucks it up and follows #1s routine because there's no other choice. You have stuff to do, #1 has stuff to do, life goes on and #2 has to put up with it.

So they do. I was more confident second time around which meant both children were actually calmer and we got far more done. #2 learnt quickly to slot in around everything and I stopped worrying about set naps, feeds etc. Everyone was happier.

You need a really good comfy sling. Baby can just live in there and you can get on with life with your toddler.

Close Caboo was brilliant for us.

Thanks for these!

Luckily DS will be at nursery 3 days a week as he is now and we live a literal 5 min walk from it so baby will go in the sling and DS can go in the pram or he can walk and DD go in pram (DS loves to walk anyway, weird 😂)

The doll thing is a good idea!

I feel much more relaxed about the pregnancy but I am STRESSING about the needs of 2 kids who potentially need me at the same time

I know it'll work itself out but gosh, fun times ahead

Take DC1 shopping to chose a gift for DC2. My son chose a LaMaze Hippo for his sister and named it Mingo. Then chose a toy or something that will occupy DC1 as a gift from DC2. We got a Galt trampoline. I think it helped with bonding. Try and include DC1 whenever you can so they don't feel like they are being pushed out. If possible let them chose who baths and puts them to bed, so they still have some control. Good luck x.

Came on to literally ask this question myself. I have a 4 week old girl and nearly 3 year old girl - 4 weeks in and I'm realising I definitely would benefit from some tips so following with interest!

So far, much more relaxed and confident with the newborn, but finding it hard having to balance the needs of both, and going back to never having any time to myself. I keep reminding myself it's all just a phase but even that is quite daunting as from memory the upcoming phases don't get any easier...

Mine are 3.5 years apart.

I'd recommend a sling library then you can rent a sling / try different styles. I spent £80 on one that I ended up hating and regret it! They're all so different.

Try to brave yourself for the child to say brutal things as they adjust to the huge change! I thought I'd escaped this but then it all caught up with me 6 months in. "I don't want the baby to be a part of the family anymore. I want it to go back to being just me you and daddy" ouch! It's normal for them to say stuff like this and remember they don't really mean it.

Try to keep life as normal as possible for your eldest. My ds used to attend preschool gymnastics and I took him as soon as I was physically able to!

Good luck, it's amazing. Kids are nearly 8 months and 4 now and eldest adores the baby. It's magical and exhausting

Brace not brave

Mine are 4y apart and the best thing we did was set up a safe space (playpen) for my eldest, not the baby. In it she was able to have 'big girl toys' and 'things I don't have to share'. It seems back to front but she really loved it.

At bedtime tonight my eldest started crying and wailing "My mother is dead now!" on repeat...

My top tip is make sure the toddler hears you telling the baby to wait and emphasise the things that toddler can do but baby can’t

e.g.

Would you like a biscuit toddler? Sorry Baby you can’t have one yet as you’re too small. He can have one when he’s big like you

you need to wait baby, it’s toddlers turn for a cuddle now (this type of one is much easier when the baby doesn’t actually need/want anything!)

That way when you inevitably have to tell the toddler to wait their turn it doesn’t feel so one way for them