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Original poster

Can't sleep while the baby sleeps

14 replies

LookAtThatCritter · 25/10/2022 09:54

We have a 6 week old and we bottle feed so we've been able to share the night shift (I sleep for x hours then DH sleeps x hours). Our baby is such a noisy sleeper though that I can't sleep while he's sleeping! Every little noise he makes I think he's choking or has stopped breathing so I go check on him. All his noises are normal, but I can't get my brain to figure that out.

So now I just get up for the day at 3 am and knock out a few hours of work before he wakes up so I have less to do in the day which isn't sustainable when my husband finishes his paternity leave really.

Anyone else struggle with this / have a way to get over it?!

OP posts:
plum711 · 25/10/2022 21:13

My baby has just turned 8 weeks old and I am exactly the same with the noises. My husband is honestly useless during the night (sleeps with earphones in and a sleeping mask...) and for weeks I was running on about 2 hours combined sleep for the entire night. The only thing that worked that I started from 4 weeks was having the baby sleep in the bed with me - since then shes settled more and only makes the noises when shes starting to stir/wake up. I know thats not an ideal solution but its made such a difference for me.

It's so hard though I completely get it - they sound like little gremlins!

Brenna24 · 25/10/2022 21:16

Could you go and sleep somewhere else when you aren't 'on duty' for feeding? I feel your pain. I did the same, and then couldn't sleep anywhere I couldn't hear her as then I couldn't hear she was still breathing. I was a very good sleeper pre-children. Now I have a nearly 5 year old and I still wake at any nighttime noises.

DeeofDenmark · 25/10/2022 21:20

Yes try putting baby to sleep near you oh and go sleep in the spare room.

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Abouttimemum · 25/10/2022 21:40

I could never sleep when the baby slept tbh. In fact it was the worst piece of advice I was given as I was expecting to get much more sleep than I did!!

It doesn’t last forever. Also what work are you doing at 3am? Just forget about it and focus on yourself and your baby.

MolliciousIntent · 25/10/2022 21:41

Earbuds, and sleeping in the spare room. That's what worked for me.

Abouttimemum · 25/10/2022 21:41

plum711 · 25/10/2022 21:13

My baby has just turned 8 weeks old and I am exactly the same with the noises. My husband is honestly useless during the night (sleeps with earphones in and a sleeping mask...) and for weeks I was running on about 2 hours combined sleep for the entire night. The only thing that worked that I started from 4 weeks was having the baby sleep in the bed with me - since then shes settled more and only makes the noises when shes starting to stir/wake up. I know thats not an ideal solution but its made such a difference for me.

It's so hard though I completely get it - they sound like little gremlins!

I would honestly not be standing for that sort of nonsense from my husband! He’s not ‘useless’ he’s just lazy!

RandomMess · 25/10/2022 21:43

Let the baby sleep in the room with your DH and you go sleep on your own somewhere. As long as the baby is in a room with someone it reduces the risk of SIDS

RedHerring24 · 25/10/2022 22:44

Sleep when baby sleeps was probably the most annoying piece of advice i was given to be honest with you.
I struggle to sleep during the day anyway regardless of how shattered I am.

I was like you though, the slightest noise from baby and I was awake checking on her. It was a bit obsessive if I am honest. DH didnt hear any of the noises as he is a very deep sleeper.
I have to be honest and say it didnt improve for me. I continued to wake at every single noise she made all the time she was in her next to me crib. She was very mobile from very young and would literally throw herself about which kept me awake. She stayed sound asleep though.
When she moved to her own room I thought it would be so much better as I would only be alerted to crying and stuff, not the little gremlin noises she made.
But even now, at 11months, the baby alarm will alert because she rolls over and I wake up automatically.
Its madness.
The plus is if she wakes in the night, I wake DH and he goes and settles her while I sleep.
I have got better and do have more sleep now but its nowhere near perfect!
I think we are just tuned to every noise from them!

Original poster
LookAtThatCritter · 26/10/2022 09:32

@Abouttimemum I'm a virtual assistant & bookkeeper so I set my own hours! We also have a small business. A lot can be done outside of 9-5 so I figure if I'm not sleeping anyway I'll get some stuff done. Obvs when I get over this sleeping issue, my schedule will go back to normal 😀

OP posts:
Abouttimemum · 26/10/2022 10:44

LookAtThatCritter · 26/10/2022 09:32

@Abouttimemum I'm a virtual assistant & bookkeeper so I set my own hours! We also have a small business. A lot can be done outside of 9-5 so I figure if I'm not sleeping anyway I'll get some stuff done. Obvs when I get over this sleeping issue, my schedule will go back to normal 😀

Ah I see - sorry - I presumed you were on mat leave and getting up to do the dishes or something ha!!

CoalCraft · 26/10/2022 10:47

My first baby was like this, it was horrible! Unfortunately I never really learned to sleep through it and only found relief when we put her in her own room at 5 months.

She then promptly started sleeping quietly... I think the ultra hard next to me mattress contributed to the noises tbh.

Baby 2 is much less noisy thank goodness!

CoalCraft · 26/10/2022 10:49

To add, I wasn't checking on her with every noise, I knew and trusted that it was normal, so I was just there with a pillow over my head grumbling to myself while DD grunted and squeaked away 😂

Original poster
LookAtThatCritter · 26/10/2022 10:57

Thanks for the comments everyone! Glad to know it's not just me. It's silly because I know he's fine, it's just a mental block I need to get over 😂I really thought I would be such a chill mum as well, had planned to put him in the cot from day 1 and sleep train after a few months. Boy was I wrong 😋

OP posts:
CurbsideProphet · 26/10/2022 19:19

I'm so relieved to read this as I'm also struggling with the noisy newborn sleep! One thing that has helped me is reading about newborn sleep cycles and trying to understand why he makes certain noises.

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