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Children's behaviour at a party

1 reply

peanutbutterontoast7 · 24/10/2022 10:22

So I am just a little bit concerned about seeing my sons behaviour at a party/in the playground recently. He is a really confident and cheeky little boy, to any adult or child in day to day life you would not consider him to be shy. However, I have noticed that in the playground and at parties he seems quite reserved and doesn't always play and will end up wandering around on his own. He was at a party yesterday and before going to the party he told me that he was really nervous. When we were at the party he was really in and out of playing with the other children from his class. Obviously as his mum it was sad to see him wandering around on his own.
I've mentioned this in parents evening at school and the teachers have always come on it that he gets on well with others around him and plays nicely. I've always had the feedback that he handles of the children well and there is no concern.
Just for context he is five years old.
I don't necessarily worry so much about his social skills because my observations outside of school is that he is very social and happy to approach others. I think he just gets really nervous at parties and at school when all the parents are there. I wonder if he's a bit self-conscious? I don't think there's any issue of bullying or anything like that going on. I just wondered if anyone else has this with their children? If you find that when you are present in a social situation that they would rather hang around with you than the other children?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MolliciousIntent · 24/10/2022 19:20

Far from 5, but I'm exactly the same. Confident and comfortable socialising in known circumstances, feel really out of my depth and uncomfortable in big groups I'm not familiar with. So, v happy with my mates in the local, v nervous at a house party with strangers. I don't think there's anything weird or unusual about that.

Listen to your son. Sympathise with how he's feeling. Don't tell him he doesn't need to be nervous. Don't tell him he'll have fun when he gets there. Don't force him to go and mingle if he'd rather prop up the wall. Reassure him that it's ok to feel nervous in these situations. Tell him that everyone feels like that sometimes. Work on building his confidence, but for him not so that he fits in better at parties.

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