Feeling towards pets when have baby

[anotheronettc]

I feel slightly horrible writing this post and want to stress first, I love animals and would never do anything to hurt one. I wanted to know if anybody has been feeling the same though .
Before I had my son my cats were literally my babies and I adored them. Now, it's a completely different story, they wake me up in the night meowing and they wake my son up just when I've settled him. Whenever I lay anything out for my son to play with or any kind of activity mat the cats always get on it and sharpen their claws on things. I just feel so frustrated at them that sometimes I wish I could give them away but I know I love them too much to do that. Has anyone else found their relationship with their pets has changed since having a baby / children. X

I can't stand my cats now that I've got two children. They just irritate me and get hair everywhere. I absolutely adored them before I had kids! I would genuinely like to rehome them but DH loves them still and he does all the cat care (litter, feeding, vets)

That's so sad :( I hope you can find a way through, it's not their fault you had a baby and they're probably confused by the change too, and guessing you weren't expecting to feel like this either?

Do you have space for the cats to have somewhere which is just theirs, not to shut them in all the time but to give them somewhere to go when you're trying to do things and they're wanting to be involved?

I don't have children but I do have cats - and this sounds really hard 💐

@hilariousnamehere yeah I know, it's horrible, I feel really bad. Probably just sleep deprivation and then them waking me up every night. I know it's not their fault:(

They sleep on our bed and if I try and shut them out they are clawing at the door all night. The girl cat knows how to jump on the door handle and open the door lol. Hoping they just become more independent cats eventually and not be so needy of me I'm worn out! X

I was like this with our dog to start with after I had my baby. Now I love her again 2.5 years later - but not to the same physical extent of wanting to cuddle her all the time etc! She gets plenty of those from DH and DD though so that's fine and my home wouldn't be one without her! So I say give it time!

I'm the same with our dog. I love him and I'd never hurt him but at the same time I'd never have another dog.

I didn’t mind any of the hair etc but I was less keen on them sitting on me.
I was - FFS I just managed to put the baby down and now YOU want to sit on me!!
It passed

Good point! Maybe when baby is a bit older I'll fall in love with them again! maybe it's just natural some kind of primeval thing haha.

Yes I'm the same with my cats and it's getting worse as time goes on. When my dc were babies I loved the cats a bit less but they were still part of the family. Now the dc are pre school/early school age and I fucking hate the cats. I think the basis of it is that I already do so much house work I can't stand to have more added with the fur, vomit, pee accidents etc. I'm also lacking sleep and find it hard to get back to sleep of woken, so if the cat wakes me I am furious.

I wish they would run away. One did but unfortunately came back.

I feel exactly the same with our two cats and feel awful to admit it as it isn’t their fault. One of them malts terribly, very needy and is a very good hunter, regularly bringing in rabbits (alive and dead) then being sick after eating them which concerns me for when my daughter starts walking. He doesn’t get on with our older female cat which has always been a bit of an issue. He also has a tendency to yowl around the house in the middle of the night which is very frustrating when you’re trying to get as much sleep as possible. They are also classed as ‘my cats’ so the responsibility of them tends to sit with me which now feels a lot with a 10 month old to look after.

We are looking to rehome him now after much deliberation. Some charities do something called ‘home direct’ which means they can help find new owners whilst they stay with you. It means they never have to go into a pen and go from one home straight to the next.

This is really common but a taboo subject because people will jump down your throat because of it.

I think its because you realise they ARE animals more?

I cant stand my brothers dog round the house now, we always used to look after him but now for some reason I dont want him around as much.

I wouldn’t allow cats in the same room as a sleeping baby. Could they be shut downstairs at night?

I feel the same about our dogs! I love them to pieces but they're just so bloody annoying!!! DD is getting to an age where she can interact with them by herself now (still supervised but not necessarily right next to her) and that I'd lovely to see and she adores them, so hopefully it'll only be another 2 years (once this baby is the age DD is now) and we can get back to having them in the lounge with us all day and get that love back for them 🤞🤞

I felt the same, but once DD got a bit older it passed. When my cat died, despite vowing when DD was born I'd never own a pet EVER again, I got two more and adore them as much as I did my old one pre DD. I suspect partly because DD is a teenager and the cats show me more affection and hang out with me more!

I felt similar. They stopped being a pleasure and became another "job" that fell on me. I recognise totally that it's because of sleep deprivation and the huge extra load on my shoulders of kids so I treat them nicely and still care for them but I won't have pets again. I really hate mornings. My youngest still wakes up early for breakfast and I have one cat who is quite sicky so often I end up cleaning litter trays, wiping up cat sick, being miaowed at for food by the cat and cried at for food by the kids all before I even get a coffee!

Before having a baby I really wanted a dog and was really overly affectionate with my IL’s dogs (because I love dogs). After having ds I had absolutely no desire for animals until he was about 2, I was so glad I didn’t get a dog. We eventually got our lovely dog when ds was 2.5 and it was the right time. I adore her and she’s my little companion, but I am weary of how I’ll feel when I have another baby. I think you just loose interest when you have a baby because you’re exhausted and already putting so much effort into caring for another’s physical and emotional needs. I’m just reminding myself that those feelings pass, and eventually your interest in animals is restored. You can fake a bit of fuss and affection, even if you’re not really feeling it, so the animals don’t miss out. Don’t feel bad, but be nice to the cats- it wouldn’t be fair to get rid of them due to this change in circumstances, and I think you’d regret it later.

The same happened to me. I think the baby just totally eclipsed them and I didn't realise that would be possible until he was here.

However as my children have gotten older things have settled. I don't feel the same intense love for the animals as before children but I do love them.

Its not your fault and its really common so don't feel guilty. It might well change again when children are older

I feel the same. We have a cat and a dog and a 7 week old baby. The hair and bringing in animals pissed me off before the baby arrived, and when we brought him home it was bordering on obsessive to the point where I wanted to re home the cat. I'm over it now to a point but I think it's normal.

I think this is normal, I lived with my parents when DS was born (for 6 months saving) & instantly disliked their/my dogs. I just didn’t look at them the same way - sounds awful.
My friend has just had a DS and feels the same about her cats.

I'm like this with our cats. I've found it has got better as my children have got older but I used to get so angry with them when they tried to sit on me in the evening when the DC were finally in bed. Too much touching! I also don't have the patience for them making a mess of the house anymore- scratching, throwing up etc. it's hard enough to stay on top of the house and we have saved hard to do work to the house only for the cats to throw up over our new carpet/scratch it.

Oh please breeders- read this thread.

This is precisely why people should think before they acquire a pet. DM’s neighbour has acquired and rehomed multiple pets because she forgets that she can’t cope with them. She works full time and is never at home.

It is bloody hard work and I agree. You sort the baby only to have to deal with the pet, when you just want to rest and not deal with exercise and hair. I used to strap my child to my front, take the dog on a long walk and I was 40. Come back and have to settle baby, then wash the dog off. He sometimes wakes up for a wee at 3am because he’s getting on now. So exhausting.
I wouldn’t be without him though.

I definitely find our cats more annoying now. We had them 10 years before having a baby so they are now getting on a bit and needing more care, though thankfully they sleep downstairs quite happily and are generally quite chilled.

I completely identify with the PP who talks about dealing with cat sick, litter trays, feeding cats and feeding children all before you've even had a coffee!

Nope I didn't feel like this, our dog is part of our family and we refer to him as our first born. He is annoying and hairy, takes a fair bit of my time but would never ever consider re homing.

People who do re home pets after having children shouldn't have pets in the first place. I say this as a mum with a special needs child so I know it's not easy.

Slightly different perspective as I didn't have my first cat until after I had children! But I have an 8 and 5 year old, and our cat doesn't bother any of us at all. She's a ragdoll so indoor only and she's just part of the furniture now! So hopefully as your son grows you'll find it easier having them both together ❤️

No I've never felt like this. It may be because pre-children we always understood that we had pets, and never thought of our cats as our 'babies', so when our first child arrived we didn't see him as a replacement for the cats.

A few people asked if we were getting rid of our cats when we had our first child. I honestly found the question bizarre.

I really wish more people would until after they have kids before deciding to get a pet. I know you can't always see into the future but I'm sure many people had 'baby' on their 5 year plan and could have avoided this situation with a bit more thought. Such a shame for the pets getting the shove because they're now surplus to requirements.