Help with toddler fussy eating

[MissHoney85]

DD is 22 months. From 6-c.18 months she was a voracious eater - everyone would be amazed at the amount and variety of food she would eat. Over the last few months she's got gradually fussier, which I kind of knew would happen eventually. I've always believed in being laid back about these things and not making food a battle ground but I'm finding it increasingly hard to know how best to handle it.

She still loves snacks, though I only really give her boring ones like plain rice cakes, plain oatcakes and apples. She loves these though and at meal times will often ask for 'snack'. I'm trying to help her learn the difference between a snack and a meal but she now gets increasingly distressed about it.

When I put a meal in front of her she will usually take a few bites (though spits most out), though increasingly just pushes it all away from the start. I don't really want to start piling pressure on her to eat, and when I do try to 'negotiate' with her she gets distressed so I just take it away. I usually then offer some fruit and yoghurt (plain yoghurt, sometimes with added oats) which she used to reliably wolf down, but even that is getting less reliable. If she demands other things (eg snack) I usually say no and re-offer her dinner. She has plenty of milk too and a daily multivitamin.

I'm starting to doubt myself. She's by no means starving and seems to be growing well, though probably a little leaner than she was a few months ago. I don't want to let her form bad habits though and obviously want her to enjoy meal times. She's now starting to get upset just at the mention of breakfast / lunch / dinner.

Is it just a toddler thing that I have to ride out? She's relatively recently learned the word 'no' so I guess that's part of it. She also has had a lot of teeth come through in the last few months. Basically I just want to know if I'm doing the right thing and if there's anything else I should be doing / not doing!

Hi OP,

I'm no expert by any means but what worked for us was having quite a strict schedule for meals and snacks with very distinct / different things offered at each, so that she knows what a breakfast food is, a morning snack food, etc.

So for breakfast it's porridge or plain breakfast cereal

Morning snack something dry and savoury - rice cake, veggie crisps, etc.

Lunch is more varied but usually involves bread or potato and a protein, e.g. egg on toast, chicken sandwiches, jacket potato with tuna

Afternoon snack something sweet, e.g. small flapjack, toddler biscuits or fruit.

Then dinner could be really anything that isn't in the above.

This way she always knows what kind of food to expect and it doesn't occur to her to ask for a snacky food at dinner time, for example.

She's only 23 months but it's worked so far!

Thanks! We do generally follow the same kind of routine snack / meal wise. I'm maybe a bit less structured about when she has snack (I admit to using them to bribe her into the car, around shops etc!) but it's only ever the same, quite boring foods. Breakfast is always one of a few options (Weetabix, porridge, toast, banana and yoghurt) and lunch / dinner times I always try and offer a carb, protein, veg combo of some kind, usually something warm. So I'm not sure where she's got this idea of having snacks at mealtimes!

Hello, I know this thread is a few months old but I am going through this same thing with my 20 month old who started refusing foods from 18 months. I am genuinely concerned now because he is a small boy and I haven't been pandering to his fussiness, I only give him a yoghurt before bed if he refuses dinner because I worry about creating bad habits and expectations.

How long did this fussiness last? Has she grown out of it now? Is it still going on? What have you been doing when she refuses to eat?

I hope you can reply I am feeling so desperate for some reassurance.

Thanks.

She certainly hasn't gone back to how she used to be, but things have improved a bit. She still often objects to the idea of mealtimes and says she doesn't like breakfast / lunch / dinner before even knowing what it is. I just tell her it's fine if she doesn't want to eat, but she needs to come and sit at the table while I have my food. She usually then does eat something once she's sitting.

One thing that helped was doing 'tapas' style dinners. I'd make sure there was something I knew she'd eat (eg bread, even fruit) and serve everything up separately in little shared bowls. I'd let her choose what she wanted from each bowl and how much. Sometimes that would result in her having just bread for dinner but at least it was something. I think it also helped because she could have just a small amount of food on her plate at one time, which looked less overwhelming to her. I'd eat food from all the other plates but not make a big deal of "ooh this is yummy" or "try this" etc, just let her watch. We haven't done that kind of mealtime for a while but it helped get us out of the really bad patch.

I still don't make replacement meals or anything. I make sure that each meal has something I know she can eat, like plain rice etc. I try to bulk out the calories where I can - e.g. putting butter on rice (which also makes it tastier to her!). I'm afraid I do sometimes have to resort to bribery e.g no fruit / yoghurt after dinner if she doesn't take at least three mouthfuls of the 'safe' food and have a tiny taste of the unfamiliar food. A bit of distraction can work a treat too - we don't have tv at dinner time but some I read her a story and that helps.

She does go through days when she eats like a horse. I think toddlers have wildly varying needs in terms of food intake and often just need a lot less than we think. Sometimes the three meals a day model just doesn't work for them!

@MissHoney85 thank you so much for replying.
I will try the tapas style dinner, I haven't tried that yet.
It's good and reassuring to know that he might get to a stage of trying new foods. 🙂
I hope your little one continues to improve x