Separation with toddler

[Roobles79]

Hi I'm looking for some advice please. Been with husband 10 years, we have a toddler, we went through a lot to have her, ivf and recently miscarried the other embryo we have frozen. We went through cancer and have had a bit of a rough ride since. Just not happy. He can be very negative, grumpy, and very controlling about things in the house and a lot of things really. I am not sure if I want another child, would like a sibling for toddler but now I'm not sure I can stay in relationship just for that. I am nearly 40 and don't want to give my child a unhappy version of me, or give her the wrong impression of how to have a healthy relationship. Where do I start?

I'm so sorry, this sounds like a really tough situation. I don't have the answer for you but here are some thoughts...

Re: him being controlling, if he's emotionally abusive you've got to get out. Be really honest with yourself about that.

If you genuinely think he's not abusive, would you consider couples counseling (if you haven't tried already)?

We've just had our second child and the first 3 months were hands down the hardest of my life (baby had colic and we have no family nearby). My only saving grace was DH was my absolute rock, he took care of everything else while I soothed a crying infant for 12 weeks straight (he also soothed the baby often but mainly cared for the toddler and cooked/cleaned/did everything else).

So I would not consider having a second child without a very strong relationship or loads of reliable family support around.