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Original poster

God parent proposal

38 replies

goodmorningsunny · 22/10/2022 07:19

I know I'm going to get a few eye rolls for this on mumsnet but I also know it's an excellent place to come for ideas! I'm a Millennial... we're in to making a big deal out of things :p

I want to ask my Brother and his Fiancee to be DDs Godparents. Any suggestions on inventive ways to ask them? It'll be on Boxing Day. It's our first baby so we're really excited about all these sorts of details :)

OP posts:
Trainfromredhill · 22/10/2022 07:21

I’m not a millennial. We said ‘we’d like you to be dd’s GP, have a think and let us know’. What’s wrong with that?

Everydaywheniwakeup · 22/10/2022 07:22

My best friend asked me to be godmother to her DC and I declined. Will yours definitely agree?

Hoppinggreen · 22/10/2022 07:23

Have someone dress as a baby and jump out of a cake while wearing a onesie with “Pweeese be my godparents lol” written on it. They could read a poem if you don’t think it would be over the top

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Stickmansmum · 22/10/2022 07:23

Are you and they super religious? Do you think they will be over the moon? Because if not, it could fall flat even if you have a big thing built around it.

AnotherCountryMummy · 22/10/2022 07:23

Are you asking them because you think they'll help your baby learn the ways of Jesus and live a Christian life? If so, just say that and ask if they'll consider it...

Doidontimmm · 22/10/2022 07:25

When I was asked I was going through treatment for infertility that no-one knew about. I really wanted to say no but felt I couldn’t. Thankfully they just asked in a normal way. I’d never have coped with a huge song & dance being made about it. Just ask!

Changingplace · 22/10/2022 07:29

Are you all particularly religious? If so, and it’s important to you & them from a religious perspective you could buy them a Bible with a personal inscription to ask if they’ll be god parents.

If you’re not religious, just ask (or indeed, consider what are your motivations for the christening?)

Hiddenmnetter · 22/10/2022 07:29

If you’re not religious what’s the point, and if you (and they) are religious they won’t need a huge song and dance they’ll be happy anyway. Ps, people can get super weird about being asked (and not being asked) to be Godparents.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 22/10/2022 07:31

Is it a responsibility they'll want to take on.... will they feel able to decline if you go big and out there with your request?

SpringIntoChaos · 22/10/2022 07:31

How about:

"We'd love you to be godparents?"

It's worked for hundreds of years OP 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

(Also...if you're not religious, you might consider using a Celebrant, and having a lovely Naming Ceremony instead...and calling them Supporting Adults or Guide Parents. Having a child baptised 'just because' is not really necessary).

LegsLikeParsnips · 22/10/2022 07:36

Has your baby actually been born yet? Seems a bit odd to be planning this for a specific advance date, but each to their own. I mean I couldn't go full drama with it (also a millennial) but if you're all into this kind of stuff maybe ask them to change the nappy & have a message on the onesie which is only visible as they undress him/her? If your baby hasn't been born at this point then I think asking someone to be godparents is plain weird. Sorry to be blunt, but congratulations on your baby either way.

EstellaRijnveld · 22/10/2022 07:37

If you’re not a practicing Christian then a christening is pointless. Have a naming ceremony instead and just ask normally and be prepared for either a yes or no answer.

My brother turned down a godparent request because he’s not a Christian and felt it was hypocritical to accept. Probably not the answers you were looking for.

MassiveSalad22 · 22/10/2022 07:37

That’s a personality thing, not a millennial thing.

Ask them after church one Sunday? 😄 or get them round for a roast or something.

If they live far away, some sort of delivery - cake? Balloons but make them eco obviously.

Mumoffairy · 22/10/2022 07:39

Why cant people just answer the OPs question?
none of these answers are helpful. She said she wants to make a big deal, so obviously asking wont cut it.
Sorry OP i dont have any good ideas, we didnt do any of that and im not very creative. Maybe ask some friends instead of this miserable lot here..

OldReliable · 22/10/2022 07:40

Just ask them. It's not like asking someone to be a bridesmaid where most people would usually say yes. If anyone ever asked me to be a god parent id say no because I'm an atheist and don't agree with christening babies. They should be allowed to make their own choice about religion when they're older.

ImNotOnTwitterButMySupportGoldfinchTweets · 22/10/2022 07:43

I’m a millennial, and we just asked normally 🤨 (« Hey, would you like to be DCx godparent? »). DH is practising religious and I’m off the wagon, but the godparents are varying degrees of practising / lapsed, and only one who isn’t a believer and isn’t technically a godparent but a « non-Catholic witness » to the baptism.

Personally, I wouldn’t ask both parts of a couple either. Too many divorces, and it could just get awkward…

hwmumofthree · 22/10/2022 07:44

@goodmorningsunny I would get something they could keep and put it in a box

ImNotOnTwitterButMySupportGoldfinchTweets · 22/10/2022 07:48

Practising Christians are normally honoured to be asked as it matters to them regardless of balloons, cakes and escape games.

But, to answer your question, I’d make an escape game. Or a quiz. Like a hen party quiz, but about the baby. Last question « will you be the godparents? ». Don’t do it in public. Just the four of you. And really you should ask them separately so that each feels able to say no, without the pressure of the other or feeling like it’s a « couples thing » that they have to say yes to to please the other one. No one should be a godparent under duress.

fleurdelee · 22/10/2022 07:49

Have you had the baby yet?
I agree with all the other stuff on here about only having a christening if you arePractising Christian's
Also who will be legal guardian of the baby if you and dp die?
These things also important to think about
If you really want a proposal thing? (Am trying to hold in my eye roll)
Get a onesie made for the baby and hand baby over wearing it
But tbh i think it's important to give them time to think about it... like a pp said
It's an 18+ year commitment

ImNotOnTwitterButMySupportGoldfinchTweets · 22/10/2022 07:54

Also fleurdelee’s point about legal guardians is really important. DS1’s godfather and his wife are legal guardians to all of our children. But we would have asked them even if he hadn’t been the godfather. And we asked entirely separately, once we’d had the second in fact, and they spent 6 months thinking about it.

We are legal guardians to our niece and nephew, but not their godparents.

Some people assume the two come together, some people assume they don’t. You might want to have the discussion up front.

EstellaRijnveld · 22/10/2022 07:56

I’m not a Christian so don’t know all the rules regarding christenings. Do the parents of the baby have to be married beforehand? What happens if your brother splits with his girlfriend? Will she continue to be a godparent or can she opt out? Are you planning on bringing up your child in the faith & sending them to Sunday school? Is it a requirement, if not then what’s the point of a christening?

CaronPoivre · 22/10/2022 07:57

I love the idea of a giant cake and dressing up in a babygrow but worry about food waste, so maybe just a cardboard one. I’d not do a poem but perhaps have an appropriate hymn printed onto the napkins. One more step along the road is jolly or As the deer more traditional, but pretty. You could fill a punch bowl with water and sprinkle them as you leap out of the cardboard cake, to start them guessing.

Or you could just ask them. That’s quite a big deal in its own right.

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 22/10/2022 08:10

Don't know what a millennial has to do with it.... do you say Born between 1981-1996... will you be my child's godparent?

On another note it depends on your religion etc. Were Catholic, our sisters are Catholic but our brother in laws aren't. So we asked our sisters if they would like to be god parents and they said yes. My sister just asked me if I wanted to be my nieces and my sister in law gave us a little card with my nephews picture on asking to be his godmother.

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 22/10/2022 08:14

Also god parents and legal guardians are completely different things. God parents are to help with the religious upbringing.
Nothing to do with who would look after your child if anything happens to you or your partner.

Willbe2under2 · 22/10/2022 08:17

I'm a Millenial - we're into making a big deal of things

You lost me at that. I'm a Millenial too and I'm definitely not and nor are a lot of the millenials I know. Just ask them. Or write an opera.