OK, a non-funny thread about what exactly to tell a 4-yr-old who is asking how humans mate?

[Pruners]

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nooka, I agree, I've always answered my kids questions in a matter of fact way. they don't think that it is a big deal

I suppose that i have a bit of an advantage being a bilogyu teacher. Once you've done the year 7 sex talk, nothing phases you any more!

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He might not need that level yet.

there is a natural assumption that adults make that when they as a questiion about sex, they want to know al the detail.

and IME that isn't tthe case.

I'd have said, 'all animals and plants have slightly different ways of mating' and then waited to see if there was another question.

And a work is just a word. If you are not happy with penis and vagina, then use whatever words you do use for the 'parts'

They will get the real words in scchool anyways

agree re too much detail and only answering the actual question which is asked, then waiting for further questions, which may or may not come. Which is why I didn't mention sex etc.
Should probably have said that ds was 5(just) and already knew the daddy's seed/mummy's egg bit and was therefore asking for more detailed account.
Sorry.

The difficulty is not the egg and sperm or the growing baby, it's the mating process, isn't it? My brother recalls very clearly how our progressive parents in the 60's showed him beautiful colour photographs of the sperm swimming up to meet the egg- but couldn't quite bring themselves to explain how the sperm got in there in the first place. He wondered for many years about that one (though I gather he's worked it out since ).

As for me, I had recourse to the great Sir David (no, not him personally!!!! his films!!). I said it is similar to other mammals mating but much cuddlier and not so violent. Don't want ds to grow up thinking he can behave like a male lion.

Agree with whoever said Mummy Laid and Egg - is great book for simple explanation which is age-appropriate. And made us all laugh lots.

ooh yes...i agree about answering only what you need to.
I made the mistake of going a bit overboard with my first. Cue slightly miffed pils and parents of his friends when he gave them the low-down on periods,tampons,contraceptive pills and sex at 4.

give them the truthful answer to the question they ask...without going into too much detail. i've done this with my 3 and,in the long run, it avoids confusion as they get older.

re the mating process
ds then saw a full-page pic of a condom (in a free mag. On the TUBE) and asked what it was. Twenty times. Finally I said I'd tell him later, and he did remind me, and I did tell him the full monty. He's just 6.

So he knows it's how grown-ups who love each other make babies, but also that you don't always want to make a baby, sometimes you just do it because it's nice. And that the man can put a condom on to stop his seed getting to the egg.

He laughed but in general took it all calmly on board.

Probably not right for everyone, but he's quite thoughtful, and was moving it forward, so I didn't feel I could truthfully answer without the detail.

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Yes I agree it can be awkward but, thanks to my mum being as vague as she could when she told me the 'facts of life', up until I was 13, I thought people made babies by rubbing their bottoms together.
I was determined not to be so vague with my own children and actually ds is now a teen and he seems fairly unembarrassed by the mention of sex (well for a teenager anyway).