I AM SO FED UP OF BEING A MUM

[Mummyrere]

Not really sure what I want from this, really just to rant and complain and see if other people are feeling the same way.
I love my boy no doubt but I am soooo burnt out and feel soooo sick of being a mum recently.
my boy is one and is a high needs baby, all he does is whinge and cry constantly ALL day every day. He’s never satisfied. I try to entertain him with so many different things and he just whines and want to be picked up. 5 mins in the car or in the pram he’s whinging. I feel anxious to go anywhere because I’m waiting for the whinging to begin. At home he whinges. I would love a whole day at home but never have because I HAVE to leave for my own sanity. It’s just whinge whinge whinge.
also he never ever sleeps through the night and his new thing to settle himself is constantly pinching me ALL OVER. 2-3 hours every night he will wake up and do this all on my arms and face. It’s current 1.15 and been trying to get him to sleep since he woke up at 10. He also always gets up about 5.45/6 so I’m just tired all the time.

sorry this is just relentless moaning, and I don’t have post natal I’m just soooo fed up this week, dreaming about my old life, wishing I could go out for a night out, be able to be spontaneous, have time with my partner, time to be creative and do something I love and to just be me again.

a tired mummy 🙁

Hi OP. I'm sorry you're struggling it sounds really rough; my 4 months old can be the same.

Do you let him cry a bit when he's on his own? I'm really trying to get my bub to be able to play on his own. Have you ruled out things like allergies? I took my baby to chiropractor not sure if it helped but he seems happier.

Does your partner help? Can you enrol him in daycare even for a day so you get a break? I presume you're SAHM?

Get the boy some pals and give yourself a break.

Have to say my husband pushed for sleep training and as heartbreaking as it was at the time, it worked beautifully so the little one can get himself to sleep now.
At least I don't dread the endless rocking to sleep, then several wake ups and me rocking him to sleep again. That was anxiety inducing.
Now little one can babble to himself for up to 30 mins when he's put to sleep, then he will fall asleep when he's ready.

Enrol baby into daycare not your partner 🤣

It sounds like sleep training may be a good option at this stage. I had a friend whose DS woke up so much in the night she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She hired a sleep consultant and within a couple of weeks the cycle had been broken. If you have the money to get in a consultant I’d really recommend it. Also do you have any friends with kids of a similar age? Having some mum friends you can hang out with and share the misery with (!) is a lifesaver at this stage. I met a long of friends through mum and baby yoga and also Baby Sensory.
Finally, could your partner maybe take your DS for the day or half a day one weekend so that you can have some alone time? We all need a bit of headspace when we’re caring for a young one from time to time.

Sounds like you are a SAHM and co sleeping, so you never really have any time away from your DC?

Personally I'd be moving him into his own room at this point. The pinching thing would be too much for me! Have you also considered going back to work? Being a SAHM isn't for everyone.

That sounds tough. Sleep training and a few mornings a week at nursery or a drop off playgroup will change both your lives for the better. I used the e-book Precious Little Sleep to help me figure out what to do for sleep training with both my kids and they're now well rested and love their beds and I also feel so much better. I hope you find something to help ❤️

This is one of the main reasons why i went back to work after mat leave, i live my children but i don't want to entertain them all day every day. OP when do you get a break from being a parent? I don't think it is healthybto spend 24/7 with your child, you need time to be yourself and to do something you want to do.

Part time job/nursery/family looking after child you need something where you have a few hours off!

How old is your little one?

My DD likes to pull my hair repeatedly to soothe her. I think I feel pretty fed up in the middle of the night too. My DD is 20 months and still wakes.

We've had a lot of teeth through the last couple of months, canines, so it's been tough particularly at night as I guess there's nothing to distract her from the discomfort. In the days she's been quite whingey, which can be draining. I always make sure we go out plenty, this morning we went to a toddler class which she loved and this afternoon we'll be out walking the dog.

Keeping her busy seems to help.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, it will end. Keep the faith.

I was also woken this morning at 5:30, it's a slog

Op are you Co sleeping, breastfeeding,he’s one, if yoire doing either of those things or both it’s time to wean and move him to his own room to give you a break

Op I went through this. My ds was an extremely high needs, clingy baby. He needed to be carried by me all the time and then he still cried! I almost lost my mind. We decided to put him into nursery ft for 5 hours each day - saved my sanity. He started at 15 months and it was the best thing for him overall.

If you do go down the sleep training route please be careful. Some are absolute charlatans who charge £100s for telling you stuff you can find online. The lady I went to was awful, told me the issues we had were all of my making and basically caused my
mental health to take a dive.

I understand how you feel. My 5 year old is being needy just now. I’ve been up since 3:30 and I can’t remember the last time I had an hour to myself. It’s just work or childcare.

Op this could have been writing this a year and a half ago. My son was exactly the same and I was completely and utterly exhausted and miserable. Honestly it gets easier. We did sleep training and as hard it is it was so worth it and our lives changed for the better. ds now sleeps 7-7 only waking up if he's poorly or teething. As for the constant winging, I found at that age they're too small to do the things they want to do and get frustrated. Once ds was 1.5 he started to play by himself a lot more and could run around confidently and generally seemed a lot happier and less frustrated.

I promise you although it doesn't feel like it now it gets so much easier

Also you don't need to pay someone to do sleep training. There's a lot of info on google and you can adapt it to suit you and your child.

Find a good child Cranial Osteopath
Life changing

Sounds like the whinging might be tiredness on his part, my youngest was always like this and she’s still a 530/6am waker at 7. Agree with above that sleep training sounds like an excellent idea and, if you can afford it, a few mornings at nursery.

Where’s your husband in all of this?

could he have reflux, colic? Constipation?

have you tried changing his milk?

or a hot water bottle on his tummy?

play white noise? Or brown noise? Or bird song? Vibrating chair? Buy a sling?

this is just a phase and it will pass

the important thing is that you get good quality sleep and soon. Tiredness makes everything seem a 10000 times worse

Please get your child into daycare, get back into work and reclaim your identity. You need routine, adult conversation and dignity. Most would go mad in your shoes.

I would sleep train. He could well just be whinging because he is tired. If it doesn't stop the whinging, it will at least give you more of a break.

I'm not sure this is helpful advice wrt breastfeeding especially (although agree co-sleeping might not be the answer if he's constantly pinching etc). I don't know if OP is breastfeeding, but there is no automatic need to stop once a baby turns one. The World Health Organisation recommends feeding to age two and beyond, and it's a great comfort tool to have.

Sleep training, nursery, back to the real world of adult conversation and personal space.

I went back to work pt at four months for this reason. It saved me. Tough times, outsource them.
And I also had them in their own rooms from early on (as was done at the time). I needed that psychological space. Coming into our bed was never an option.
Now older teens and never a single regret.

Get some childcare sorted and go back to work. Honestly, it's a break and the change from the monotony of parenting does you good. Even if you're only breaking even it's probably worthwhile for your mental health. You sound (understandably) bored! And ditto others re moving him into his own room so you can reclaim some space for yourself.