Major bedtime resistance - any strategies that work? (2 year old)

[PumpkinPicker83]

Looking for any tips or experiences from parents of toddlers who've been through this. Not sure if it's a type of sleep regression but my son who used to go down really easily has started really resisting bedtime. This could also be related to amount of sleep / nap / dropping nap etc as well so if anyone has time to look at our timings I would be really grateful.

Basically at bedtime he tries every trick in the book to avoid going to sleep by himself. One more story / sing song / more song / wipe nose / wipe eye / no the other eye / drink / hold hand / cuddle me / read book / get Daddy / no not Daddy want Mummy!! It's exhausting!

My strategy has always been to avoid talking once he's down, but he's started shouting and screaming out. I find myself going in and out of the room 15 / 20 times and he takes an hour to fall asleep.

Also, when my husband has put him down (he usually does the occasional night at weekends to give me a break) my son has started screaming and crying for me, really really distressed to the point that I end up going in.

I'm also worried as I'm meant to be going out for dinner tonight (a rare night out) and DH will be doing it on his own without me in the house.

Does anyone have any tips for this?

Also, my son is often waking up an hour earlier than normal. We bought a Gro Clock which worked really well for about two days, but since then he just keeps doing all the same things as listed above to keep getting me to go into his room from about an hour or so before his normal wake up time.

Typical timings are as follows:

Bath 7pm
Into bed 7.20pm (story etc)
faff round till around 8.30pm when he finally sleeps

Waking up at 6am and constantly wanting me in this room
Previous wake up was 7am (used to be very consistent)

Lunch time nap* (at nursery most days) 12.30-2 approximately. Sometimes waking at 1.30.

*There are no signs he looks ready to drop his nap - he is always very tired at lunchtime and goes down really quickly without fuss.

I would be so grateful if anyone can help and give me any tips! Thank you!

Sounds like he is getting enough sleep and this will just be the way it is until he drops his nap. Maybe try a later bedtime so there is less faffing.

I might try that, thank you. It gets confusing because some places suggest this and others say he might be over tired!

Also does anyone have any tips for my husband being able to put our son to bed without me there?

Can't really offer advice as we're going through the same. My daughter turned 2 in May and we decided to take the plunge and move her into a toddler bed as I'm expecting another baby any day now. Cue 5 months of bedtime refusal and middle of the night and early morning wakings! Not sure if it's the bed itself and the new found freedom (though I would have thought the novelty of that would have worn off by now!), the turning 2 which I think is a tricky age for sleep or a combination of the 2 but she's gone from sleeping 7-7 without a peep to resisting bedtime (same as your LO - trying every trick in the book to not go to sleep), waking in the night and wandering into our room and waking up between 5.30 and 6 ready for the day! We thought the early waking might change with the darker mornings but nope! Considered a GroClock but have heard mixed things so have just been going with it and putting her back in bed until we give up and have her in with us. It's knackering so I feel your pain! We're in the same situation with the nap too where at the moment she really needs it but on days she misses it or it is cut short for any reason she does go down a lot easier at bedtime so considering taking the hit of dropping it but haven't been brave enough yet.

I agree with this.
Could also limit his nap to an hour.

My DS went through this (sometimes still does - 3.5yr now). It was actually so much easier when only one of us were home at bedtime, so he didn't have the option of asking for the other one. Hopefully the same for your DH tonight

We was recommended a book called “the rabbit who wants to fall asleep “ and it’s been a game changer with bedtimes! Can’t recommend highly enough. You do need to follow the instructions and keep at it for a good week but it works!

I second @MandaLynn on this - when it's only one parent at home, bed time halves. But I think your bedtime is too early. If he has a nap, then it may be he is not really tired at 7pm.

We have a 3yo, wakes 7am, nap 12:30 - 2pm (nursery), comes home 5:30-6pm. Sometimes in the park till 7pm (but not much later as the younger one needs to go to bed). Then dinner, bath and in bed by 8pm (younger one straight to sleep). Older one can then be in bed reading talking etc (with one parent present, never alone sadly) and will go to sleep 8-9:30pm depending on who does the bedtime.

If I want to go out in the evening and need him asleep sooner, I have to take them to the park for at least 90mins and deliberately make them tired AND then do the bedtime in a calm way (like you do, no talking lights down no screaming good warm dinner and with luck they are asleep by 8pm).

Id go with a later bedtime in your situation. My ds will be 2 in December, he used to go down really easily but started the same a couple months ago of yelling and shouting at bedtime and taking ages to drop off.
He wakes up 7.30/8am
Nap at nursery 12-1.30/2pm
Bedtime is 9pm

Any earlier and he just faffs about for ages til he falls asleep. Some days if he's had a full day I can get him to bed a bit earlier. Think some kids just need a little less sleep than others.