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Parenting

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Original poster

Potty training

14 replies

Whathefisgoingon · 17/10/2022 21:34

I feel like I’ve really screwed this up!

DS will be 3 in February and he is not potty trained. I’m feeling immense pressure now because the nursery he goes to have said they expect all toddlers to be potty trained by age 3.

I feel I’ve messed the process up because we have had a potty out in the house for around 6 months now. When we first got it he was intrigued and would sit on it, but very quickly he decided he didn’t like it and instead using it as a stool (it has a toilet seat lid) to reach places. We tried again a few months later and whenever I mentioned potty time for wee’s or poo’s he would get upset at even the mention of it.

In the mean time I asked the nursery to talk to him about it and try it there, as I thought maybe with other kids doing the same he may be more inclined. Nothing much came of that.

Last week, thinking we needed a fresh start, I bought a Peppa (his fav) training seat, popped it on the loo and he refuses to even get on it. He goes as far as to take it off the toilet and put it outside the toilet.

I have put zero pressure on him whatsoever but he’s either horrified at the idea of it or thinks sitting on his potty is a game we do for a few seconds and then get up.

Where do I go from here!? I feel like I’ve made a right pig’s ear of this.

I haven’t read any books because I didn’t read any books on anything and managed..... until now!

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goblinkinggoblinking · 17/10/2022 22:36

I'm in a different (but similar!) situation. What would happen if you just got rid of the nappies and put him straight in big boy pants? Would he get upset at getting wet and choose to try the potty or loo instead? Not sure if that's a useful suggestion but thought it might be might be something you hadn't considered 🤷‍♀️

LoopDiL00p · 17/10/2022 22:47

My son was the same, he just treated it like a little game and didn't seem to understand that he had to do all his wees in there. It got to the point where he got so fed up of us going on about it that he'd tantrum every time we even uttered the word.

So after being advised by his nursery, a month before he turned 3, we just took away the nappies/pullups. The first few days, he didn't do a single wee in the potty but eventually something clicked. I think he only started to understand after he could feel the discomfort of getting wet.

Do you think that might work for you? Some of my friends said they bought storybooks about using the potty which worked well. Neither of those worked for us, but it might be worth a try if you think it might help.

Snugglemonkey · 17/10/2022 22:58

We found the pirate Pete potty book useful. We read it for a while with DS not really paying much attention, but after about a month, he just started to do it.

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lochmaree · 17/10/2022 23:00

this is us at the moment! DS turns 3 in early January and is not potty trained. did a few wees in the potty around May/June time when not actively potty training but then had a couple of accidents when DH left his nappy off, and now refuses to engage whatsoever. All discussions around pants/potty/toilet gets "don't like it" and that's that. childminder has suggested just saying there's no dry nappies (we cloth bum) and then just going cold turkey on them during the day. following with interest!

Original poster

Whathefisgoingon · 17/10/2022 23:03

@Snugglemonkey we have that book and he absolutely loves it! If I ask him which potty he likes, he points it out. If I ask if he wants to use that potty, it’s a big fat no! 😂

@goblinkinggoblinking @LoopDiL00p We have actually tried pants, but he got upset when he wet himself and then decided he wanted his pants on over a nappy. I think we’ll give it another go though!

OP posts:

LoopDiL00p · 17/10/2022 23:11

Are his nursery happy to get involved with training him (and deal with the inevitable accidents) or do they expect you to do it all?

One thing that helped us massively was the nursery staff being willing to continue encouraging him through the day. They assured us they didn't mind the accidents. It would've taken us a lot longer without their help.

LoopDiL00p · 17/10/2022 23:12

LoopDiL00p · 17/10/2022 23:11

Are his nursery happy to get involved with training him (and deal with the inevitable accidents) or do they expect you to do it all?

Sorry, I've just reread your OP and seen that nursery aren't being very helpful so that idea is out.

Original poster

Whathefisgoingon · 17/10/2022 23:27

@LoopDiL00p they are happy to help and encourage, but it’s on me to train him and since he’s refusing at home, I’m not really sure what I could say to them! Seemingly he will sit on the potty at nursery. I can’t say I’ve had any feedback after I’ve asked them to talk to him about it etc. Seems like they forget I’ve even asked!

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PissedOffNeighbour22 · 17/10/2022 23:27

My DD is the same age and has zero interest in potty training. The potty and toilet seat have probably been around for about a year but we had another baby and we've been so overrun with other stuff we didn't press the matter.
We're going away at Christmas so I don't think we can sort it before then but my maternity leave ends in January and I really need to get it done.

I'm pretty sure my DD wouldn't care if she was wet. Potty books don't seem to help and I just don't know where to start.

ButtercupsAndBluebells · 17/10/2022 23:41

My twins are also 3 in Feb and we are in exactly the same boat. They just think it's a big game, using the potties as "hats" and all sorts... Sorry no advice, just solidarity!

lochmaree · 23/10/2022 15:14

anyone made any moves on potty training? we attempted today but DS (3 in January ) just absolutely does not want to use the potty or toilet. he will wear trousers with no nappy (but not pants) and refuses to be without trousers. had several accidents and he just gets upset so we've gone back to nappy.

gingergiraffe · 23/10/2022 15:46

Some may frown on this but maybe time to involve a little bribery? Your little ones obviously have good understanding so maybe a chocolate button or a smartie for every successful output to start with. or some other reward. Ten minutes watching a favourite programme on u tube to distract them at first.

lochmaree · 24/10/2022 11:46

we tried TV but still gets too upset to sit on the potty unfortunately

Ewanismydreamsheep · 24/10/2022 12:13

My little boy was the same and would refuse to consider wearing pants at all. He’s 4 at the start of November and has been in pants for a week now.
I spoke to a health visitor and they said to let him go at his own pace as he was emotionally not ready. He’s been doing the odd wee in the potty which we really praised and talked about it to each other whilst he could hear.
Nursery have been really supportive with helping him make progress and had started changing his pull up with him on the toilet which I think has helped. We talked a lot about it not being a problem if he had an accident and that we’d just clean it up.
He still won’t use the toilet only a potty but that’s our next step.

Some children need a bit longer to do it and to build the confidence up

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