Formula feeding guilt

[Bubbles021]

My little girl is 10 weeks old. She is the first baby we have brought home (lost our son at 33 weeks last year).
When she was born I tried breastfeeding, but she really struggled with the latch. We had to stay in hospital longer than necessary because of the difficulty feeding. When we eventually got home it was horrendous. My poor little girl was screaming for food, and now looking back I don't think she was getting enough from me when she was feeding. She dropped weight drastically and we were told to top her up with formula cup feeding if she needed it.
We kept persisting with breastfeeding and topping her up when needed for around 2 weeks. I was constantly seeking support, but the best I got was a few pictures of what a latch should look like. I was feeling extremely low and anxious about feeding times, I wasn't enjoying having my rainbow baby finally at home with us. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. I was told by my health visitor to stop using my left breast it was that sore. We ended up in a&e with her for something unrelated to feeding, but there we were told that she was dehydrated. I felt horrific. I decided from there to bottle feed her, and I have been combi feeding since. My mental health improved significantly, but at the beginning she was mostly having breast milk. Now that she is bigger I'm struggling to keep up with the amount she has, so I'd say she's having 70% formula, 30% breast milk.
I'm feeling so guilty about this. I know that fed is best, but everywhere promotes breastfeeding (I understand why), but it doesn't half fill me with guilt. Even formula itself says breast is best 💔
Can any other formula/combi feeding mum's give me some reassurance? 😭 Thank you ❤️

Breast is best BUT there seems to be this misconception that breast is best and so high up there and that formula is this dreadful substance we should feel guilty giving out babies as if it’s extremely inferior…..
The truth is breast is best but formula is so close behind that the difference is negligible. If it was a huge difference we would see this reflected throughout life - the reality is nobody can tell who was bf and who was ff !
Don’t feel guilty !

Stop it. Stop it now. I tortured myself not being able to bf my first ( no milk) and ended up ill with severe pnd. She is 9 now and bloody wonderful. I was formula fed. My siblings were breastfed. They are both severely obese, didn’t go to university, and have allergies. I went much further academically and don’t have those health concerns. I really am not convinced it makes any difference in the long term. Don’t let bf ruin this part of your motherhood journey

Oh my love I am a massive breastfeeding advocate but in your situation it sounds like formula was the best option. We are so lucky to have that option. I am so sorry you didn't have support but it sounds like you made the best decision for your baby. I hope you can reframe it as "I managed to breastfeed for X days" rather than "I only breastfed for X days". You should be so proud of yourself. If you want to express and feed a small amount alongside formula, that is ok too. But whatever is working for your family.

I’ve been a primary school teacher for over decade. I’ve never once been able to look at a child and tell if they were breast or bottle fed, nor would anyone care.

Both of mine were FF, and at 3.5 and 14mo you can’t tell the difference between them and their breastfed peers either.

I know it seems like a massive deal now but I promise it very quickly won’t even be a consideration at all.

Having issues around feeding and their weight is so stressful isn’t it. I see posts on here advising against topping up with formula in the very early days, but I imagine the (well meaning!) people who write those haven’t had a tiny baby sobbing because they’re hungry and not quite getting enough. It’s awful!

I wanted to breast feed, my daughter is combination fed too. I’m luckily able to express enough that after breastfeeds and expressed milk she probably only has around 8-10 bottles of formula a week, but I felt guilty about that for a while too. But actually, combination feeding works well for us and it’s reassuring to know that she has access (even if she doesn’t drink it all) to a couple of easy, big feeds a day as we had issues with weight gain too. Your baby is still having some breast milk, and even if she wasn’t she’d be absolutely fine. You’re doing amazingly!

I’m so sorry for the loss of your little boy 💐