Would you send 11yr old to camp with 1st period?

[ohblahdeeohblahdahlifegoeson]

Miss 11 has just started her first ever period and her first ever school camp starts on Tuesday.
Camp will be 4 nights away and involve lots of swimming and kayaking etc...

She's quite emotionally young and not a practical girl at all.
I am thinking of all the worst case scenarios and what a logistical nightmare it might be for her.
She will be about 2 hours away from home.

I'm thinking to keep her home on Tuesday and drop her off at camp on Wednesday (hoping it's finished by then!) or am I completely over thinking it and she should just go to camp?

Again, it's her first period and it's started today (Sunday)

Would love opinions and feedback on what you would do in this situation x

What does she want to do ?

I started out thinking of course, prepare her with lots of protection, spare pants and dark bottoms etc. Find a nice teacher/supervisor you could both have a chat with so she knows who to go to if she has an issue. I did then think that periods suck and we don't sometimes care for ourselves enough through them. How is she feeling about it?

I started my period at my year 5 weekend trip away to school...it was HELL.

Please don't send her there (if she doesn't want to)

She wants to go. She's been in tears today at the thought of missing out.
But I don't know what sort of period she's likely to have...might be mild but what if it's horrific?
They are staying in a holiday park so presumably there will be an ablution block with hopefully decent facilities.
I'm just worried about the practical side of it, hygiene, disposal etc...
Also swimming...
Aarrrrhhh it's the worst timing!!

Look into period pants - absolute game changer. Cheeky Wipes are a British company and mid range, Modi body American and I think postage takes a while longer, and a little more expensive but a larger range of patterns. Primark and some supermarkets also sell them and they are quite cheap but don't offer the full coverage of the specialist pairs.

Talk to DD and then talk to a trusted teacher, lots of girls start their periods away from home. She could go but sit out of swimming. She'll be busy so her mind won't be focusing on her period which is better than sitting around.

Lots of girls at DDs swimming club wear knee suits with period swimming bottom underneath but might be too late to buy similar now.

If it's her first year, it'll be great to bond with her other class mates.

Let her go. Just make sure she's completely prepared, make sure she knows what to in all case scenarios.

Can you quickly get her some period pants for extra protection? It’s likely to be short and light but could stop and start so do warn her of that. My daughter started on a sleepover with a very lovely friend who sorted her out and called me. She stayed there because she wanted to. I’d let her go on camp.

I've just nipped to the supermarket and stocked up on period undies ($25 a pair here in NZ!) as well as a whole bunch of other options.
I'll see how the rest of today and tomorrow goes before deciding if she goes or not.
If I don't let her she will HATE me but I also know there's a possibility I could be saving her from a situation that she doesn't know how to handle.
I have a real fear about teasing and bullying and I know it only takes one thing to turn a kid into a target

Hard one…. If you send her make sure it’s with lots of pairs of period pants (do they do swimming costumes too?) I probably wouldn’t. A camp including swimming etc. for your first period sounds horrendous to be honest.

The practical side is a none issue. There will be other females there staff and students who will also be on their period. There will be bins etc. Give her very clear instructions and a wash bag just for period bits and pieces. Send her with some spare underwear and pj bottoms (or send black leggings as pj bottoms). She won't be the first or last. Send her with calpol that she can be given as and when needed.

You are letting your own insecurities cloud your judgement.

Send her with all black trousers / shorts / leggings.
Teach her how often to change sanitary towels or pants.
Then let her go if she wants to, allow her that independence. She could have just as easily started on the camp and I doubt you would have driven up to rescue her unless she was seriously unwell.

Don't start out by teaching her that periods limit what you do, that is why there is a massive drop off of girls taking part in sport at that age.

if she wants to go I wouldn’t stop her- periods are annoying and around for a long time- personally I think it’d be really crap for her first experience to be that periods stop you doing what you want. Much better to let her know she can still do stuff and be fine providing she’s prepared.

I think it's your daughter's call.
My eldest would NOT have wanted to go.
OTOH a friend of hers got her first period while at camp and she shrugged and carried on with everything.
We're all different. If your dd wants to go it's her call. Stock her up with everything she might need and wish her luck.

Another thought - tell one of the supervising teachers.
I was the supervising parent at a sports team camp a few years ago and one of the mums let me know her dd had her first period. I didn't really do anything with the info - but mum was reassured and I was on alert in case the girl wanted to opt out of any long walks or suddenly needed a bathroom break.

I was on a school trip abroad when I started. I was 12. My mum had packed STs in my bag just in case. I just had to get on with it and honestly I was fine. The first few aren't heavy or long so I bet she will be ok by Tuesday. As others have said dark leggings etc and period pants. And a plastic bag to wrap her used underwear/ bottoms in.

Try and keep calm with her and let her go, make it clear you've let her teacher know and to go to them if they need but you don't want her to get the feeling that periods stop you from doing things .
Honestly focus on prepping for the trip (residentials are hugely important to them ) and just make this one part of the prep
No more mention of not going

You've nailed it. This is definitely a ME problem and it's bringing up a lot of my old school insecurities.
I have to remind myself it's so different with this younger generation. Things aren't so taboo.
I'm feeling a lot better having read through all the comments

I think you’re letting your own fears impact the wellbeing of your daughter. Just because you fear teasing and bullying it doesn’t mean your daughter does. You need to raise her to be braver than you.

I started my periods at 11, while on an weeks activity camp about 400 miles away from home. I was also the only girl in my age group, the rest of my group was boys.

You can help prepare her by explaining what and why, add protection, add chocolate as a treat to help with it. Be positive about it. 😁

To explain - a bit of background

I didn't have a clue that periods were even a thing so that was a heck of a surprise or any even basic knowledge of birds and bees. I had seen some pregnant women before that but my child brain worked out that the woman probably had to eat the baby.

The lovely Spanish group leader tried to explain what was going on when I came to her crying that I needed an ambulance. I don't speak any Spanish, she was learning English as a second language. I got the message that the blood meant I wasn't having a baby..

At first I thought my chance was gone forever, then that I might have the baby that night or next day and who would I tell. I was also still of the conclusion that the only way to get this baby out was by pooing it out. Very innocent.

She gave me a sanitary towel and showed me what to do with it, unfortunately for me it was a scented one which I reacted badly too, meaning that I had to be taken by the staff to the a+e for treatment from this as the fragrance caused blistering. Then they decided only then to contact my mother, I got a 5 minute call with all my news.

In between despite pain and bleeding , cramps I carried on with activities on the camp and only was excluded from the water (swimming / canoe / windsurfing) my final two days but it wasn't to do with periods it was due to wound dressings in very delicate areas but basically the message was that you can do whatever you want despite being on.

So in the matter of 24 hours I went from,
What's happening?
Having baby or no baby?
how to use a ST?
Reaction?
Hospital with burns .

I absolutely would let her go.

In a way you are teaching her that having a period is a get out clause for not doing every day things.

There will be other girls there who will be on their period too. If not classmates then staff, assistants etc.

You said she wants to go. There is your answer.

I would let her go too. The worst things about the early years of my periods were the pain so pack her some paracetamol if you’re allowed. Ibuprofen even better but I’m not sure the age indicators on these things.

I'm also in NZ and my 11 YO DS2 is off to camp on Tuesday . I've got boys so can't comment on periods specifically, but have found the staff really helpful
before. DS1 was still an occasional bed wetter on Y7 camp and staff were great about it- some poor teacher got him up in the middle of the night and they
were very discreet about it. So totally recommend speaking to her class teacher, they'll have seen it all before and you can give them painkillers for her

DS2 has a huge number of changes of clothes already just from the standard packing list , so would just supplement it with some more dark clothing. All the camps we've been on have had pretty good bathroom facilities so hopefully will be the same for your daughter. And if swimming is in the sea/a lake I doubt they'll be in the water for long, I'm in Auckland and it's still too bloody cold to be doing it for long ( although maybe the kids are more robust than me!)

Hope its ok for her and she has a blast at camp

You may well find she's done and dusted by Tuesday, best case scenario. Otherwise, I would try to be very relaxed about it all and just talk to her about the practicalities. If she isn't too heavy she could wear period pants under her swimming costume if she doesn't want to try tampons. Send her with more clothes than you think she'll need, speak to an adult (perhaps ask her who she'd be most comfortable with) and let her know that she can absolutely do everything she wants to do even with a period. If she is genuinely distressed and doesn't want to go then fair enough but I don't think you should make that decision.

My DD has started at 9, it's tough for them. I hope it isn't too bad for yours and she manages to have a lovely camp.

Hello fellow kiwi!

We are down south so even colder than Auckland so you make a good point that they probably won't be in the water for long.
She's taking her wetsuit so that will probably be a help as well.

I've touched base with her teacher now, stocked up on supplies, had some good conversations about what to do in various scenarios so I'm feeling a lot better about it all. (She's over the initial shock of it all and back to her usual happy self)
All systems go for Tuesday!

Thanks for all the positive comments.
Yes, I was projecting my own fears on to my daughter...like a lot of mums I guess.

Had to laugh...she asked me 'mum, when does it stop', I told her after 4-5 days usually.
She replied 'no, I mean for good' and I had to break it to her that I still get periods. She was horrified 😂😭