11 yo boy, 5 yo girl - struggling to do things they both enjoy

[Crystaly]

11 year old likes to go out with friends but on a Saturday I like us to do something together as a family. Problem is both disagree. One wants to go swimming, the other wants to do golf, and same theme continues no matter what we suggest - cinema, bowling, walks, park etc etc.

it ends in tears and one accusing the other of being the favourite if their activity is selected. It’s draining and makes me feel like not bothering. I work full time allll week and am desperately trying to enjoy family time out the house.

If it’s a weekly thing could they take turns each alternate week to chose the activity? Or get a jar they both write on slips of paper different activities, give the jar a good Shane then you pick one of slips and that’s what you do?

Art galleries and museums usually have things to entertain all ages. Obviously you might have tried this, but if not - just start with the largest in your (nearest) city. The 11 year old is sure to find something absorbing and there will probably be colouring-in or other activities for the 5 year old.

But you may also be sticking too rigidly to the ‘family time’ thing! Are you not able to collaborate with your children’s friends parents? One week your son is taken by another parent to do something (specific, supervised) with a friend, while you take your daughter and her friend out. Next weekend you swap. Would that not work?

I can see that from their point of view it might be … frustrating to always have to do something that suits their much older/younger sibling!