Putting a 3 month old to bed

[Scaredycat259]

We usually wait until we go to bed at anywhere between 10 and 11pm, if hes drowsy we take that as a cue to all go to bed.
We've done this since we came home from hospital.
I've been worrying whether we should be really putting him down upstairs much earlier in the evening and keeping an eye on him via a monitor?
If he goes to bed with us between 10 and 11pm generally it's between 4 and 5am before he wakes, a few times he's slept until 6-7am.
He can usually fall asleep on his own if he's drowsy and will fidget and makes a few baby noises and suddenly go quiet and fall asleep after around 5 to 15 mins.
Sometimes if hes overtired (I presume) he'll cry and kick his legs, ill hold and rock him ( he does this ALL the time even when happy, he's very wriggly 😆 ) and then suddenly just stop like he's been switched off, ill look down at him and he's fast asleep 😴.
After searching online it says he should be going to bed between 7.30pm and 9.30pm.
So should we be putting him to sleep at around those times or carry on as we are until he's 6 months and in his own room.
I feel like I'm failing massively and we're going to have a poor sleeper in the future.

Definitely keeping him up too late, far too little sleep at that age, even if he's still napping 2/3 times a day. Assuming he's in a Moses basket or next to me cot, aim to pop him to bed maybe 19:00

No. It would be a SIDS risk. Can you get him to sleep downstairs, cuddled in, in a pram or travel cot.

We keep DD downstairs with us but we've 'put her to sleep' in the pushchair base basically. So she goes to sleep after a bottle at 8pm, and then we transfer her asleep up to her cot at around 11 when we go to sleep, then feed once in the night, and if she wakes early around 6 or 7 often she'll go back to sleep for another hour or so if we keep it dark and quiet like night, means i get an extra couple of hours too then!

Could you do same with the wake up, treat as night to get a few more hours of sleep in for baby

it does sound very late to me, but you also shouldn’t be leaving him alone if you put him down earlier due to Sid’s risk. If you don’t want to go to bed earlier you need to get him to sleep downstairs with you for the first stretch.

dont be hard on yourself though, you are not failing. They don’t come with a manual and if he seems happy in himself don’t worry too much just gradually move the bedtime forward. A

That's basically the same as we are doing, he'll go to sleep downstairs on and off during the day and evening, then we all go to bed together.
I don't keep him awake, ill rock him to sleep with us downstairs in the evening.

And yes I already put him back down after his morning wake up and we ( me and baby) get a lie in, sometimes I'm up a bit before him as he can then sleep til around 9 sometimes, so I'll potter around coming up and downstairs to keep an eye on him

@Scaredycat259 what you're doing is fine in my opinion. It's exactly what we did with DD and she's 16 months now and all fine. I think I posted something similar around the same age as I was confused about the Sid's risk and 'right' bedtimes for a baby. DDs bedtime naturally got earlier as she got older and she started doing longer stretches overnight. At 3months I'd keep soaking up the evening snuggles whilst they doze on and off.

Oh and DD still goes to bed quite late now (9ish normally) but she's rarely up before 8am and often treats us to later lie ins - which is great as none of us are morning people!

My 4.5 month old still goes up to bed with us and was a similar time at that age. He may get tired around 9ish now which is when we all go to bed and watch TV if he is sleeping ( we have headphones for it) . He gets up around 9am

Have always done this. He would scream the house down if I tried to put him to bed at 7pm!

Maybe that's our fault and a habit we have gotten him in to - but there is so much time for him to find his own pattern. I'm not worried - maybe it's not ideal but it works for him at the moment

I kept our baby up until we went to bed at that age then as she started to crawl and use more of her engery up she was getting tired earlier and now goes to bed at 8pm and she is 8 months old. Enjoy the time don't rush it, try to get as much sleep as you can while it last.

My baby is 12 weeks and we haven't changed the routine since she was newborn so similar to you, we keep her down with us until we go to bed 930/10 normally.

The only thing I've done recently is a bedtime
Routine which consists of bath/bottle/baby massage and fresh sleep suit and then when she falls asleep so tonight was 515 bath, bottle 6pm, was sleeping by 6:30. She's still asleep now and sleeps on her snooze pod pillow type thing on the sofa in between us.

We then dream feed her when we go up and she usually goes until 5-6ish for a feed.

I'm not sure when I'll take her up for bedtime

@Nat888 I like the sound of your routine though! All cosy watching tv in bed. Although we don't have a tv so would need to invest!!

X

My 3 month old goes to sleep between 8 and 9pm generally speaking- I take my cue from him/when he seems to be getting sleepy. I had tried to get him to bed by a specific time but if he's not ready then no amount of cuddles, rocking or milk will send him to sleep he still falls asleep at roughly the same time but I'm knackered if I've been trying since 7 and he falls asleep at 9. If anyone has any tips on getting an unwilling baby to sleep I'm all ears - I never managed a proper nap schedule for DC1 because she fought me all the way and everything I tried just seemed to make her angry and me exhausted. Hoping to do better this time round.

@thejadefish how well does he sleep at
Night as ours are similar age.

8-9pm is pretty good? X

What is your daytime routine?

You’re doing fine. Everyone has different lifestyles and different set ups. If this is working for you both and for baby then don’t sweat it.

@tiktokontheclock

So downstairs for 7am, anything before I treat as a night feed. Then bottles every 4hrs. Her wake windows are 1hr-130
Actualities from reading, mat play, tummy time, and bouncy chair watching Disney plus (this is usually when I do bottles/washing/clearing up and prepping dinner as she can have a bit of a cry in the afternoon/evenings so I like to have everything done as much as I can

Bath for 5ish

This routine works well as I have an 11 yr old
Who is up for school at 7am so I make sure I'm up with her if not already with the baby and we work around her routine in the eve so we have dinner for 6ish as eldest has bath/homework

X

I think that’s totally fine if he’s sleeping downstairs in the evening.

We did put DS to bed at 7.30 from about 4 months with a Snuza on his nappy and a monitor downstairs (we’d regularly check on him and then go up at about 10) and he’d sleep through until about 6. That’s because he struggled with noise so wouldn’t be sleeping properly downstairs and I think sleep is vital for them. Lots of people won’t agree with not being in the same room though.

The fact he can settle himself to sleep is cracking and the key to all sleep problem long term lol!

Sounds like you're doing really well and you've got a good sleeper to me!! I wouldn't change a thing right now.

If it works, it works. 3mo is tiny and there's no need to be in a routine or have an early bedtime if it doesn't work for you. DD2 is 4mo and sometimes she goes to sleep for the night at 7pm, other times it's 10 🤷‍♀️ It's all about amount of sleep within 24 hours and wake windows at this age, not strict bedtimes.

Everyone saying it’s too late, what do you do to change it? DS is 11 weeks and goes for for his longest sleep between 10:30-11:30 and now pushes on until 4am on a good night. He’ll nap in the sling around 7 or 8 for an hour but he absolutely doesn’t want to go “to bed” at that time.

It's quite nice now its getting colder to go up and have a cuddle in bed!

Things change so much in the first year I figure if it ain't broke don't change it because Google says the ideal is different. As long as baby is getting enough sleep in total in 24 hours as the PP says

Sounds to me like your routine is working really well for you right now and you're doing an awesome job xx

@chocsaucestrawb he's usually very good actually, he'll fall asleep at or by about 9. Some nights he'll wake at about 1am for a feed, other nights he'll sleep through until 3am (he always wakes at about 3 or 3:30 regardless) but I was wondering if I should impose a routine (my SIL swore by Gina Ford, I didn't get on with it no matter how hard I tried with DC1. I haven't yet attempted a schedule for DC2 been taking my cues from him re feeding and sleep).