Two year old draining behaviour

[Heartandcross]

So my two year old is completely draining me every single day. He is my second and never experienced this with the eldest.
everything has become an issue all of a sudden, for example bed time is a complete nightmare started climbing out of cot and running around the house touching just about anything and everything, have now transitioned to toddler bed but he will not stay in his bed up and down for about 4 hours before he will actually sleep and then it’s a 50/50 if he will wake during the night and repeat it all. This never used to happen he would go down and self settle and sleep through no problem but it’s like he has turned 2 and all hell has broke loose. He is on the go from the moment he wakes up, running around until he finally falls asleep. Sticks to one activity for about 5 mins before he begins looking for things to touch or just do things he knows he shouldn’t do.

Afternoon nap time just became a complete waste of time so now I’ve taken that away but find that he gets tired and his behaviour slips even more eg. Hitting and being destructive.

dinner time is no I don’t want it and spitting it out or throwing food on the floor even when it’s something he likes.

I have tried time out, removing toys, making him earn toys or special play activities. I praise his good behaviour but he takes nothing serious and just laughs or does it again. I don’t know what else to do but it’s making every day a struggle and im exhausted and just want some normality back.

everything is No and even when I insist he just cries and sometimes hits.

Is this terrible twos? What is going on? There has not been any changes or anything so just don’t know where this has come from. As I said eldest never did this so I’m struggling with how to tackle it so it’s effective and not confusing for 2 year old or a waste of time.

Any help is help!

thanks

Following! No advice but my 2.5 year old can be very challenging at the moment so lots of sympathy - taking a long long long time to do anything. Can take up to 90 minutes to leave the house at the moment 😬

Sounds like he's not developmentally ready for the bed, I'd put him back in the cot if I were you.

No advice I'm afraid, but I am going through a similar thing with my 2 year old son. Starting throwing epic tantrums especially in the evening, and gets really angry at the smallest things (which are probably huge for him). I would say it's probably a phase and it will pass. I think this is why they call it the terrible twos?!

Also to add, I read somewhere that when they behave like that they are not being 'naughty', it's just how they are trying to communicate. Thing of them as an adult. If you are really frustrated or tired, the last thing you want is for someone to tell you off or put you on a naughty step. Show them some support and love. I often give him a cuddle and stroke his back, or try to distract him.

Stair gate on his bedroom door might help.

Turning all lights off except for night light in his room so rest of house is less appealing.

You haven’t said what your bedtime routine is, but I found my DS was a nightmare if he’d had screen time in the hour before bed.

“…but he takes nothing serious.”

Bless him; he’s two years old.

You may not have noticed it so much with your first child and you may have had more time and patience. Having two kids is exhausting. It’s a phase that passes thank goodness. Take your breaks as and when you can. 💐

Can he go to nursery part time? Might tire him out and stimulate him more with other activities and children?

I found relaxing music before bedtime helped, 20 years ago. There was a series of classical music aimed at babies and toddlers and one was called Symphony of Sleep. That and Nora Jones, background level rather than loud, helped DDs wind down.

Could you try that in the afternoon?

Re the food, does he ask for food after he’s in bed? Possibly say he should have eaten his dinner, no food available until breakfast. Obviously I’m not saying don’t feed him, but try to get him to understand that dinner = not hungry.

He’s probably pushing boundaries so pick your battles and decide where the boundaries are.

As pp said, no lights on after bedtime and limit screen/TV time before bed.

This is a phase.

Good luck.

What's he up to during the day? Is he doing enough to keep him active and ready for sleep?

He sounds too young for the bed so might be best to change back to the cot if possible. Others have said stair gate on the door (we have this and it's a must!).

Do you have a calming evening routine? Bath, books, even massage with lavender body lotion perhaps.

thanks everyone. Yes we have bedtime routine bath and then get ready for bed have a story and discussion and then hot drink and bed. No lights on just night light.

we play different things each day, could be duplo, cars, matching games, football, garden time, sandpit, gardening, go to the park, read books, drawing, painting.

The reason we changed to the toddler bed is because he was continuously climbing out of the cot which obviously was dangerous as would fall but still do it again and again so the getting out of bed is the same as it was with cot and toddler bed.

We kept a gate on the door until DTs were almost 4...

Also bear in mind that anyonje who says anything / comments about their angelic two year olds will likely get a massive PITA three year old:)

Nursery, if he’s not there already. Get him surrounded by other kids and doing activities with them.

My teen has a safety gate over his bedroom to keep out younger siblings. They still get used years later 😂

Seriously though, gate over door and tire him out every day.