How do I get my baby to sleep?

[ART2022]

I have a 3 month old girl who I’ve always fed or rocked to sleep.

It used to be that feeding got her to sleep without fail, then at around 2 months that stopped working so well. As she went longer between feeds, I started rocking her to sleep for some naps if needed.

Now it seems neither are reliable. I’ll notice she’s getting tired so try rocking and shushing and she just seems to be wide awake until eventually crying and getting frustrated and falling asleep. This can easily take 30 mins - an hour. Physically, I can’t keep it up as she’s getting heavy.

Once asleep she’ll happily nap on me for anything from an hour - 2.5 hours each time so I know she does want the sleep if that makes sense.

I think she’s too young for sleep training (?) - whatever opinions are on controlled crying etc. So I’m at a loss of what to try. Nap times are getting tough and she’s cranky and over tired a lot of the time.

Other info -

• she’s never taken to a dummy
• only contact naps during the day
• doesn’t like the pram but will sometimes sleep in a carrier
• EBF

The dream would be to get her to nap in her crib or for her to settle herself but I’m not even so fussed about that given her age. I just need to be able to get her to sleep.

Help a tired mum out! :)

Sling? Just go about your day with her in the sling?

Mine suddenly (like around the 3 month mark) would go to sleep in the pram and stay there for a full nap. Not the carry cot bit - detested that - the lie back pram. Out for a quick walk, then out for the count. Worth a try? (I've been there - everything is worth a try...)

Sounds like you've tried it almost everything. Baby sleep is an absolute nightmare till they can settle themselves. My life got so much better when I could just pop him down and walk out of the room!!

In the lead up to my boy being able to settle to sleep himself I used to pat his bottom and shussh him to sleep. Started off doing it whilst feeding as that was his sleep crutch, then moved to holding him then could pop him on his side in the cot and pat his bottom whilst he chewed his comforter toy (he was 5mo).

I also learnt how important wake windows are so if she's taking ages to get to sleep you might need to start trying 10mins earlier.

I think its quite normal for them to sleep well whilst being held at that age.

Thank you! I will try changing to the sit up pushchair and creating some associations while she does fall asleep on when feeding.

@Geranium1984 how did you intro a comforter?

3dc here (youngest is 18m) and tbh their sleep changes all the time untill they're about 2. What works one week/month isn't guaranteed to work the next and you just have to "suck it and see" with different things. Sometimes you just have to be patient.

I do remember around 2-3 months them becoming much more distractable - like if there was a dangly light/Halloween/Xmas decoration they would be distracted and refuse to sleep. So maybe be watchful fo things like that.

I would recommend at that age (around 16 weeks corrected):

1. Get a good bedtime routine & be sure you're using white noise
2. Encourage learning self soothing by helping her suck her hand during the day & giving her a few minutes to try and settle herself during night wakings (even if she doesn't succeed it helps to develop their self settling skills)
3. Shush-pat your baby to sleep for 5 nights in a row - stay shush-patting until baby has been asleep for 10 mins. First night will take awhile and baby won't LOVE it but she'll be with you so she'll be ok. Subsequent nights will get better quickly. My baby preferred patting on his upper thighs/side of his hips. First night took 45 mins but got shorter each night.
4. Possibly by night 6 you'll be able to put baby straight in the cot to sleep with no shush patting. Follow your instincts about how to gradually fade out the shush-patting.

(You'll need to do this process separately for day and night sleep as they are separate in baby's mind. Start with night sleep as they're more tired at night).

If you aren't ready to sleep train for naps, I find a sling/baby carrier while bouncing on an exercise ball in a dark bedroom with white noise quite effective. Obviously doesn't work for nighttime sleep as you need to sleep as well 😅

For more information/other approaches I recommend the book Precious Little Sleep. Lifesaver for both my kids' sleep.

My son took quite a while to attach tk the comforter. Over a month or two I'd give him one all the time, nappy changes, pram and always when he was falling asleep. Then when I was removing boob when getting him to sleep he would want it.
Take a look yourself but I don't think it's safe to leave in the cot till 6mo which is when my boy finally took to it.