Toddler with ASD- ideas for activities

[asdDDaughter]

My HV suggested to go to lots of groups so we did but dd (2) is not getting on well. I’m wondering if I keep searching for the ‘right’ group or if I stop and find other activities? I do worry then that it’s not giving dd any socialising opportunity but when she’s had the opportunity so far she hasn’t wanted to be near other children.

If you have a young child with ASD what sort of things do you do ? Is it worth persevering with groups even though I worry a lot that dd is often making it difficult for other children there too ? I don’t know what to do !

Try and find a local asn group if there is one. We tried normal toddler activities and it was a shit show. We got involved with a local group for disabled children and it was bloody fantastic. I still miss it.

I would aim to encourage her to be around other children but not necessarily interacting with them at the stage. If you go too much too fast you might put her off.

Is she diagnosed with ASD? I am just asking out of curiosity - how did the process start?

My DS hasn’t got ASD (to my knowledge) but he is much better in organised group activities than stay and play sort of things, which is a bit frustrating as stay and play tend to be far cheaper!

Yes our experience has been awful. I spend my whole time just apologising and giving things back to other children at one group as they give out things and dd needs to then collect them all to line up which involved her snatching off all the others and I had to keep giving them back and then she was upset. Other times she managed to line up a few things and if another child took one she would have a meltdown. Part of the session made her scared so she would be shaking head to foot and I thought maybe she will get used to it but got worse each time so then I felt guilty 😞

we went privately as the nhs wait is years and the HV kept putting off referring saying try this/try that . Dd had to have a kind of play assessment, we had to provide developmental history at one appt then another to do a parent interview. We want to get her an ehcp before starting at school nursery next year so felt in a rush.

I’ve known since she was about 12 months old something wasn’t right but kept telling myself it was something else and things would get better

Is there a forest school nearby that does play sessions?

My ds is 3 in December and we're awaiting a referral, so no diagnosis, but toddler groups haven't been for us either! We hsbe recently found a 'toddler gym' which he loves though! They put all the equipment out (benches, mats, horse etc) and the kids are free to just run, jump, roll around for an hour. He loves it. There's kids there but they don't have to interact and there's enough space to stop it getting overwhelming.

Agree with PPs to look for a local group for preschoolers with SEN. I wish we had done this! Mine loved things like park, trampoline, swimming - basically anything where they were active and didn't have to interact too much!

I don’t think it would work out as she wants to be carried 99% of the time if outdoors if put down will ‘freeze’ and lower herself down to crouching or start shaking and crying 😞 if things move she’s terrified too - not animals but things like leaves blowing in a breeze etc

I think it’s more space we need too and something unstructured so if she wants to spend a whole session lining something up she can as at structured groups they change an activity but she wants to carry on what she’s doing . She likes her structure and routine but that she’s set herself not one that is decided by someone else. At one group they have a short bit with instruments - she gets given a couple wants to locate anyone with the same, wants to take them to line up and just do that but then the group leader wants to collect them up and move to next part of the session and she’s not ready and it causes so much upset

My HV suggested to go to lots of groups

This is the opposite of what an autistic toddler needs. Ignore her. A group that is specifically for children with additional needs is what you are looking for. Don't over do it though, too much is likely to be more stressful for her. I have no idea what your HV was thinking.

She said to us although we have a private diagnosis we can’t have referral to SALT till we’ve shown that going to groups over months hasn’t improved things 🤦‍♀️

The thing is dd vocabulary is huge - but it’s no conversation at all - she just repeats and copies with no understanding if that makes sense so I wanted a referral asap as feel we are losing time and we got a private diagnosis to try and save time so could get on with early interventions etc

She doesn’t ask for anything either the most communicative she gets is using my hand to touch what she wants for example

She said to us although we have a private diagnosis we can’t have referral to SALT till we’ve shown that going to groups over months hasn’t improved things 🤦‍♀️

Going to lots of groups for months is damaging to a child who can't cope with being in group situations. I would steer well clear of her and visit your GP if you haven't already. There is nothing positive to come of putting an autistic child in a high stressed, overstimulating environment repeatedly.

That’s what I’m seeing - I stopped one group as it was very obvious it was making her stressed ill look for a SEN group if I can find one and stick to just the one as I think following hv advice has overwhelmed and overloaded dd

I would contact your local Children's Centres as they may have groups for early language and communication development.

For activities, have you seen Gina Davies Attention Autism program? They do parent sessions and there are lots of YouTube videos too.

You mention she has lots of language but without meaning. It seems she is learning language, but differently than most. Have you looked up gestalt language learning? It was also called echolalia and there are some strategies here... www.hanen.org/Helpful-Info/Articles/Helping-Children-Who-Use-Echolalia.aspx

Thank you so much I will look at all of those

dd didn’t really have any words at 2 then a huge explosion overnight in vocabulary but it’s all repeating - she never says anything unless she’s repeating from somewhere. Never asks for anything never uses any names for anyone if she wants anything I’m suddenly grabbed and dragged and my hand placed on whatever it is but with no or very little eye contact and if she does use eye contact it’s a very quick right in my face (nose to nose !) huge wide eyed eye contact

I like this idea as well. My child (diagnosed ASD aged just before 40 didn't want to play with other children at that age or indeed for quite a bit. But I guess I thought the stimulation of having others around would help, and it may have done. But structured stuff with a teacher or a person leading it was never going to be useful. So we did things like fun toddler play sessions ay the pool where he did not have to interact with anyone else but me. Also soft play as well kept him occupied happily but he would have no interest in 'play'.

diagnosed aged before 4 that was. Not 40.

Sounds very similar to my DS (3.5yo). We haven’t received a diagnosis yet but likely ASD.

Groups never worked for us so I didn’t insist on it but when he was 2.5 we sent him to nursery 2 mornings per week and that was much better. It became part of his routine after the first couple of weeks and helped him to communicate a little better. He still takes toys off others and struggles with receptive language but he is more aware of other people now.