Have had week from hell with 9 mth old, just want some reassurance and support that things might get better!!

[pevie]

Hello all. Have had really hard week which started with my 9 mo falling from a surface and banging her head. This resulted in major vomiting and admission to hospital for 2 nights. I was so worried and felt so guilty, along with getting no sleep. Remarkably when we got back home both she and I slept pretty well and although she was a bit sicky and unsettled she did sleep slightly better than normal. However she has become major crank again and seems so unhappy and unsettled a week later and is also only sleeping for about 15 mins at a time in the day as well as getting up all night!!! She has never been great at sleeping and has been treated for reflux ( no difference) and am also on dairy free. HOwever, she is now beside herself with exhaustion and I am so distressed watching her. Am guessing its maybe just her system adapting again as she has only really been back on real food for last few days. I just feel so upset about it all and although some friends have been sympathetic you feel that some of them just glaze over when I start talking about my LO AGAIN!!!!!!! It had seemed to get a little better before all this happened with her doing 5 or 6 hour periods at night and being easier to put back down when she did wake. She had also occasianally slept for over an hour in day in cot which is a miracle. I just pray this will all calm down again!!!! You have all been so good at giving support before so am just after a big mumsnet sympathy vote and pep talk really!!!!!

You get my sympathy vote pevie. Sorry I don't have any practical advice. Hope things get better soon.

Someone once told me that 9 months is exactly the age when they start to comprehend that when you go away you come back again iykwim. Before that you're either there or not - they can't 'miss' you and wish you would come back - they're just unhappy that they haven't got the person they want.

I remember both mine being more clingy and crying more at that age.

Your poor dd has had a grotty time for other reasons, too - no wonder she's unsettled and upset.

I can't promise a magic answer - we went through phases of unsettled nights from time to time until they were about 6! It comes and goes - just when you think everything is fine they'll start being scared of the dark, there's a monster under their bed or they have nightmares.

A friend's ds is 11 and had been having recurring nightmares about shrinking to a tiny size and disappearing. He won't go to sleep at night because he's scared of the nightmare.

So... things WILL get better, but you WIll have other problems later - that's children for you!

Mine are 12 & 14 and fairly civilised now!

She certainly is crying more and is v.clingy but it is the sheer exhaustion that worries me. I have another DD and so I know that things change. I found the first year with her a bit of a challenge and even though the toddler years were trying at times, I dont think they compared to how stressful the first year was. Anywa, DD1 was fairly straightforward baby with ups and downs. problem with DD2 is that there have been so many trying times that when things get even worse its hard to see the bigger picture!!! I just feel so stressed all the time and keep wishing this time away so that she was older and easier to manage. Feel bad about that.

Same here - DS1 delightful - DS2 demanding. They're both lovely now, though. I think it's just so hard when the 2nd one comes along. How many people do you hear say 'If I'd had DC2 first I never would've had another one!'. It can't be a coincidence - 2nd babies are far more demanding.

9-11 months is apparently an age where they become especially 'clingy'...my dd2 is 11 months and has been like this in the last few weeks.....your lo may also be picking up on your worries and stresses over what happened and is making her slightly more clingy....

Feeling for you......xx

Aww pevie, sounds really tough. No advice, as I have this to look forward to in 2 months (right about the time I go back to work) but I can imagine how knackered and at your wit's end you must be. Lots of tea and chocolate for you x

Wish I could take chocolate but as am dairy free, this unfortunately isnt really an option. I guess its unrealistic to expect her to be settled so soon after such an upset. Today I took her for sleep in car, this used to help but not so much now. She awoke as though she was in pain, screaming!!!! I think she is just v.windy after her tummy being so upset, it was gurgling all last night. Also she gets so constipated at times and I think that unsettles her. She claws at you and cant get comfortable at times, I just really feel for her!!!! You can see why they used to think people were possessed at times, thats what it can feel like!!!!! It just depresses me sometimes to think of her unhappy!!!!

Have you tried taking her to a cranial osteopath. We took DD a couple of times as when she was tiny she had v bad wind and would get a really upset tummy. It seemed to help. I would certainly recommend it. You need to see someone who specialises in LOs though.

I hope she settles down soon, for both of your sakes. Can you have 70% cocoa choccie?

Have tried the Cranial osteopath thing a few times and each time seemed to get worse initially and then no significant change. DH has barred me from going back as the last time was only a few weeks ago and she was so bad after for few days. I know it can take a few sessions but we had few sessions right at beginning and no real change. We're just unfortunate that it didnt work for us as so many people swear by it!!!!

I know this might go down like a lead balloon but I would suggest a couple of nights with a dose of Medised/Calpol before bed. She is at prime teething age and you don't know if she is having head aches from the bump either.

Oh poor you! Babies are so different at the best of times and you have both had a very upsetting exerience. Just try to remember that because she is difficult and demanding now, that doesn't mean she always will be. My dd was VERY demanding as a baby/toddler but is now a remarkably mature and independent preteen. My ds, on the other hand, was an incredibly easygoing baby/toddler but is quite a needy 7yo.
Just try to make things as easy for yourself as you can; rest when she is resting, maybe even take her into bed with you for daytime naps. And keep repeating the mantra: 'this too will pass'.

Have done the whole medised/calpol thing before,makes no difference to her at all. Not sure if I can cope with her being v.demanding toddler as well!!!! Cant do naps with her cos have DD1. She was treated for reflux before but she seems to be behaving as though that is what is troubling her again. Who knows!!!!!!!!!!!