How to break the feed to sleep habit (when it’s affecting weaning)

[Exworrier]

My DS is 11m tomorrow. He is still drinking a lot of milk (formula) especially a at night and he shows very little interest in food. I think our problem is we have always fed to sleep for naps and night time and if he wakes at night we feed him and he goes back off.

Currently he has 7oz to go to bed with at 7pm, 7oz top up at 10.30pm and then he will wake at 2.30am and have 7oz. Then sometimes he will wake at 5am and have 7oz to get him to sleep in a bit, either that or he will wake at 7 in which case he will go straight to breakfast and skip that one.

I don’t know whether to cut his bottles down to say 5oz but carry on as we are, or keep the bottles big but cut some of them old cold turkey style. Obviously it will mean a few hellish nights but we can’t continue this way.

any advice please?

oh I meant to say, we have tried not giving him the 10.30pm top up, but he then wakes at 12.30am (an hour after we have gone to sleep) and will definitely wake at 5am.

I would look into cutting down nighttime milk first. Reduce one feed at a time every few nights.

Can he be resettled without a feed, ever? That was how I dropped unnecessary feeds. First try rhythmic patting for a good few minutes, then rocking if that doesn't work. The point is to make feeding the last thing you try to get him to go down. It's easier at night when you have natural melatonin working for you.

@ChildWontStopGrowing Rocking works BUT he is 26lb and I simply can’t do that. When he’s very very tired holding him can work too. I will try the patting but as soon as he sees me he is grinning and trying to engage. When the bottle goes in you see his eyes roll and he’s off.

You need to wake him up before you put him down. He's waking up because one minute he's in your arms then he wakes up on his own in the dark then you're having to feed because it's the only way he knows to sleep. If you can stop the feeding to sleep then the waking up will also stop. I've been there with my DD years ago. It took weeks to crack but it worked. I'd put her down and sit with her, arm on her chest until she dropped off. Once we'd cracked that I'd just sit next to her no touching until she'd dropped off. Then I'd sit across the room, then out the door. Once we'd cracked that I could put her down and leave her.

Sorry I meant to say, he is never fully asleep when we put him down, rarely he is but usually he is just drowsy. Sometimes we put him down drowsy and then he wakes himself up completely shouting and playing etc but we leave him to it unless he is crying. If we need to we go back in and say “shh bed time” and give him a kiss.

The only thing I would cut out is the 5am feed so that he’s hungry for breakfast. I think it’s still normal to feed babies this age to sleep at night. I bf all of mine to sleep overnight til 15/16 months. Cut milk during the day, if you just give him water he should be hungry. Also, don’t worry too much about food intake, he’s still young

Oh okay in that case I personally wouldn't class it as a feed to sleep issue, it's more that he's waking up in the night hungry, some babies just do. How many bottles is he having in the day and is he eating much food?

@mummyh2016 Yes think maybe you are right. He is a big lad, 99th percentile and he does not eat particularly well. He is getting better though. He has the following…
9.30am - 7oz bottle
1.30pm - 7oz bottle
6.30pm - 7oz bottle
10.30pm - 7oz bottle
2.30am - 7oz bottle
so total 35oz.

If he was younger I'd be asking if you could get those feeds into him during the day so every 3 hours or so but if he's not eating much food as it is you don't want him to be too full to eat. I know they get slated on here but I've only ever found them helpful; could you contact your HV and ask them for advice?

@mummyh2016 Yes I saw HV last week got my son's 9-12 month check. She said it's top end of milk feeds recommended but she said there's no need to change and to go by his lead. So not hugely helpful.

Your baby sounds exactly like mine @Exworrier - same feeding schedule, also no interest in food, also a big lad.

I wonder if maybe these big babies who don't really like their meals yet just need to keep up the milk intake until they get better at meal times??

Not sure @sansebastian ! Is your son crawling or moving yet? Mine isn't as yet although he is trying really hard to. Wonder if a better appetite for food will come with movement.

@jazzyoldjim yes crawling since 8 months so very active...just seems to be a very fussy eater