3 year old twists hair into knots…no matter what I do!!!

[CandyCane1]

Hi all, my 3 year old girl is constantly twirling her hair (oftentimes while also sucking her thumb)….unfortunately she does it so much that we are unable to undo the knots and have had to cut some off with scissors.

It’s so ingrained that we have to tell her to stop it 8-12 times in an hour eg if she’s watching peppa pig on tele.

I’m writing to see if anyone has any solutions or advice on how to remedy this issue without cutting her hair?

We’ve tried everything but feel the only option is to cut it short like a boy so she literally cannot twist it into knots…

So far I’ve tried to:

1. explain why it’s not good to twist her hair and made clear the consequences of twisting (hair will fall out and she will go bald, it looks messy, it will hurt to brush it in the morning)
2. reminded her why brushing her hair hurts ‘you twist your hair, which creates knots which make it harder to brush’
3. reminded her to stop by saying ‘hand down please’ or giving her strategies such as sitting on her hand/ holding it between her knees to avoid it going to her head subconsciously.

I have learnt with kids drawing attention to something will make them think of it more.Just encore what shes doing wrong or she will do it more

braid her hair and use a tangle teezer to make it easier to brush.Find a style of braid that can help prevent knots.

Maybe get her something else to do with her hands like one of the popper toys? (In addition to other hair-related ideas like braids/haircut).

I hate to be that person but this is how I started with trichotillomania, it's a form of OCD.
I'm not in any way saying this to make you panic, just to be aware.

Distraction techniques would likely help, anything to keep her fingers busy and out of her hair

My DS does this even with short, boy’s hair, so that may not be a solution anyway! Can you braid her hair so that it’s harder for her to twirl it?

My DD 2 yrs 4 months does this when she is drinking her milk in the evening. It's an unconscious comfort thing I think. Like you I've explained it'll make her hair knotty and it'll hurt to brush it and I gently remove her hand and give her a cuddly toy/doll to cuddle instead which has worked for us. On the occasions she has twisted it into such a knot that I thought I was going to have to cut it out (I was in tears!) my husband managed to detangle it with lots of detangling spray and patience while she sat on his lap watching something on TV. If she'd let me I'd tie her hair up to avoid the problem but she screams the place down if I try to tie her hair up so that's not an option!

Can she choose a doll with hair to twirl instead?

I used to do that can you tie her hair up or clip it back? I still twiddle my hair don’t suck thumb though.

I agree with the give her something else to fiddle with idea.
I think a short haircut at the same time would also help.

Don’t be telling her stuff like she will go bald and be ugly. That’s damaging. I still remember my parents going on about my finger sucking at that age and how I’d have wonky teeth and be so ugly I’d never find anyone to love me. Then they’d pretend that my teeth were a bit more wonky every time they caught me sucking my fingers.

My dd when aged 2-3 did this, waking herself up in the night because she'd knotted her fingers into her hair until they went purple. We had no choice but to go for a short bob! She's just turned 4 and nowhere near as bad now, it's shoulder length and she only occasionally "twiddles". We just accepted having short hair for a while, but also got her a doll with nice tactile hair (sort of cloth strips rather than the more knotty "real" hair) to have at night as a twiddly distraction.