Anyone else feel like a spectator in family life now?

[ringmaster]

Hi,

I'm new around here and this is the board if identified the most with so thought I'd say hi and have a moan. I have two small children and am currently in term 2 of my first year of a BA.

I worked part time previously so I'd not been around the ankle biters 24/7 however now I've handed over the household reins to my husband I feel like little more than a spectator or stranger sometimes. They've gone on a lovely play date this afternoon at our best friend's house and here I am (procrastinating) completing reading for an essay. Same with swimming, ballet and birthday parties - I'm not the one who goes right now and I feel like I'm missing out and if I'm missing out - are they too?

Sometimes feel like it's an incredibly selfish thing I'm doing and I shouldn't be doing it.

Can anyone identify with this and / or give me a slap?

I got results from an exam I took in December and I passed (67%) so I should be feeling all loved up about studying but sadly I'm not.

The Ring Master (as that's what I feel like sometimes round here with all the bickering!).

Hi,
I'm in year 2 of a BA and I feel exactly the same. I have 1 DD who is 2 but I started the course when she was 9 months.
My DP works so he doesn't take control but I feel like my DD spends more time in nursery and with my parents than she does with me. By the time I put her to bed i'm too tired to do any work so it usually piles up by the weekend.
I don't think you're being selfish at all. I couldn't deal with the guilt of doing something for myself for soooo long but i'm getting over it now. Your kids seem to be having a great time with the ballet, swimming, friends. It's not like they are sat infront of the tv whilst you do reading.
You seem to be doing so well (67% almost a 1st) and in the long run, you're doing it for them.
Don't feel bad and don't give up.
XX

My H works too but he dropped to part time and we lowered our standard of living so that he could spend some of the time I'm at uni with the kids. I'm in 4 days a week so it's quite heavy going, some days I'm not back in time for bedtime so my H does all of that.

I suppose one of the hardest things I'm finding is that the less I'm around them the less tolerant I am

I know in the long run this will have benefits for them in that I will be able to work more flexible hours and have higher job satisfaction but right now all that feels quite a cop out!

Thanks for the encouragement I was quite shocked about the exam result as I wasn't feeling well that day and took a doctors note into the exam as I feared I wouldn't complete it so I was rather proud !

Can't imagine being in year 2, is it as scary there as it feels like it would be from here LOL!

What course are you doing? I'm doing primary education and I find that after being with everyone elses kids I don't have the energy for my own....
My course is demanding, 4 days also and 2 late finishes and early starts. Being on timetable is MUCH easier than placement though because the hours/paper work are unbelievable!!
Year 2 seems to be flying by. It will soon be the end of term...
During the summer break I felt that I didn't want to go back to it but I pushed myself and i'm glad I did. Don't give up now. You should at least finish the year so it's not a waste. Especially with those results!