Changing my 18m/o surname

[LuckyFlash]

Hi everyone,

I have an 18 month old son. When i married my husband 4 years ago i kept my maiden name as i felt no real desire to change it. When our son was born we double barrelled both our names for him. I don't love the way it sounds but it seemed like the best option at the time.

However, literally no-one can seem to comprehend that DH and i have our own names and DS shares both. People call him by my name, DH's name, get the double barrel the wrong way round, call me and DH by a double barrel. I get that it's not necessarily conventional but no one can seemingly be bothered to try and get it right (family and close friends included).

The majority of people call me Mrs (husbands name) even though i have never told them that's my name and i'm also not a Mrs.

It's just become a massive inconvenience now and i'd rather we just make it easier for everyone.

I don't really want to change my name at all but thinking of changing mine and DS's names to just my husbands and scrapping mine altogether.

Has anyone done this? Is it worth the hassle? The thought of all the thing's i'll need to change is overwhelming lol

No advice op but this happened to me, gave dd mine and exes surname but literally no one uses them both, they’ve all dropped mine and will only call her under exes name unless corrected, can’t change it as sadly he won’t agree they will also call me mrs exes name as they assume it’s also my name as well, it’s been a nightmare I would change it in your situation.

Sorry, this would make me dig my heels in and keep it the way it is. Double barrelling like this is not that unusual, I found the only people who 'accidentally' got it wrong were DH's family and the proud Mrses whose only aim in life was to snag a man.

If it's really what you want, I hope someone more helpful than me comes along, it just rips my knitting that people purposely get others' names wrong because of their opinion of it.

Our kids have my surname (not married when we had them) and I kept my surname when we married. I do get the odd birthday card addressed to Mrs DH Surname, usually from older relatives. Kids have occasionally had cards with DH’s surname on. I answer phone calls which ask for Mrs DH name and he answers Mr my surname.

it’s not a daily issue so we just get on with it. I’ve got no intention of changing mine or kids names.

DH and I kept our surnames and double barreled our children's. It's never been a problem at any point. What practical difficulties is it causing you OP? I'd stuck with it rather than go through loads of hassle and expense to change everything.

Also do consider that if you and your DH ever split up, the statistical probability is that you would do most childcare, in which case logically any change should be for you all to have your surname.

Who are getting it wrong?

I've also got an 18 month old and we did exactly the same with names, the only time it's wrong was the odd wedding cheque and Xmas card from elderly relatives. I also don't mind if collectively we're referred to all "the double-barrelled"

Never had any issues for travel, medical, nursery etc and they're the important stuff, no one really uses surnames in day to day life I find. You don't need to change it when you don't want to just to make it easier for people who sound quite dim if they can't remember your name

How about scrapping both your and your Dh's name and coming up with a whole new one for the family? Maybe take the name from somewhere special to you. Or abbreviate both names and form a new one from the old ones. Dh's mate had the surname Longbottom, his fiance said under no circumstances are we sharing that name upon marriage, he agreed as he had been teased all his life about his name. They honeymooned in Paris and so chose Paris as their joint surname.

I've got a different surname to my DH and our kids and it's happened a few times in my 5 years of mumhood. I just correct them. It's not 1922, there's loads of families with different names, titles, structures out there.

The only time I used DHs surname is making a restaurant booking as it's a simple one everyone knows!

I’ve kept my name but the kids have got dh’s name. I don’t like double-barrelled names. Never been a problem. I don’t want to be my dh’s property.

A friend has 3 kids. The 2 girls have her surname, and the son has her dh’s. Works for them.