Illness when starting nursery - days off work

[onedaysoonisher]

My DC started nursery a month ago and it's been a constant cough, runny nose etc since then. Usually DC isn't too bothered by it - very happy in himself but literally once a week he's not himself/ has a slight temperature or he gives his latest disease to me and I'm really sick - I only work 3 days a week and the last 3 weeks I've had one day off work a week because of illness (DC's or mine). I'm so conscious of work and the fact that I am taking so many days sick (for me or because I have no childcare). My friends say the illness continues until they build up resistance but I can't do this for months - I'll be sacked! How do other people navigate this?

Thanks in advance!

I have the same problem, we are 3 months in and I have taken 4 days of work as my child has been ill. my husband makes more than me so it makes sence for me to take the hit. I know work will have to have a chat with me soon as my sickness score will be shooting up, but financially it makes sense for me to take the day off and my boy wants me when unwell. Hoping it ends soon🙈

@Melonportal I completely see where you’re coming from with this but given the state of a lot of people’s financial situations at the moment some people really don’t have the choice for the higher earner to take the hit.
I know I’ll be getting pulled by my employer soon for so much absence due to my son being ill but it’s not possible for my DH to just take a day off in his line of work. We really don’t have an option other than for me to take the hit if he’s at work too!

You're just making excuses now. Your husband can take the days off to cover some of these sicknesses.

If your DH is salaried and presuming he’s not in a new job, he needs to take his share of sick days. End of. Doesn’t matter at all how much he earns.

FWIW, it took 2 years for us to break this cycle with DS. Until that point, we had at least a couple of days a month to cover between us… and that was in a good month!

Dear god what kind of man doesn't want to step up and support his wife's career?

Has he always been this selfish ?

Just fyi there’s a pox vaccine shortage so it's waiting list only atm. I’m trying to get my DC booked in but no chance right now.

It doesn't matter whether he is a high earner. He should also take take days off to support his child. He has annual leave, sick days, he isn't going to get fired!

I don't understand the logic that because he earns much more than you he can't take the time off.

Does he not get annual leave? Does he work every day of the year without a holiday? You don't lose pay if you take leave from work, unless you're contracted at an hourly rate.

It's a phase and you won't lose your civil service job over this.
They can't sack you for being genuinely unwell.
You are also entitled to 5 days parental leave per year.
It's a shit time but put your head down and don't beat yourself up. As long as you're pulling you're weight when you're there, then you've nothing to apologise for.
Don't make a big deal of it with colleagues. Don't even mention it. Many won't even notice!

my husband makes more than me so it makes sence for me to take the hit.

can you afford to lose your job? your pension? because that's the risk you are taking.

If you're three days a week you possibly have wiggle room. With my dcs when I've been part time at the beginning of the week, with short illnesses I've offered to switch one of my working days to a Friday and then put them in nursery an extra day (Fridays are normally the quietest day as lots of part timers have the day off). One nursery made us pay for the extra day, fair enough, another was happy to just switch it out. Good luck.

Your DH has to do his share. My DH earnt many multiples of my salary at times (as I was lower paid and also part time) but he still always did his share. Actually, sometimes he did more as once they were older it was easier for him to work from home.

It does get better, then dips again when they start a new setting

I earn less than DH, but we have always agreed we share any kids sickness - we decide who is off depending on who was off with DC last, who has work that can be moved around or who has important meetings that day.

Even when I was part time we did this; it would be unfair to expect my employer to be the one who is bearing the brunt of the absences.

Our nursery were great ag giving a bit of calories and keeping them there for mild sniffles. The sickness bugs are a nightmare or the viral rashes because you have to keep them home and yes we had to take a lot of time off.

Can either of you WFH and fit your hours round when baby is asleep/partner is home?

I meant calpol

My DH earns about 4x what I do in his high flying job but he still does his fair share of sick days with the kids. He values my career and me improving my earning potential after having several years out on mat leave. If I was to take every sick day off, my employer would be pretty grumpy with me and I would definitely be at the back of the queue for promotions etc. He has some flexibility to WFH so will do that if our 3yo is ill as he can easily supervise him whilst intermittently working but will equally take a day of carers leave if our 1yo is sick. Your DH will most likely have paid carers/sick leave so he needs to start using it.