3 week old won't stop screaming

[shilohsmum]

DH and I are really struggling as first time parents. He seems soo unhappy, so unsettled, spending the majority of the time awake screaming - only settled with breastfeeding which makes me a feeding slave! We're thinking of introducing combo feeding with formula for evening/night feeds so I can have some kind of break, even though I didn't want him on formula so soon. He's often up every hour or more during the night too. We are utterly exhausted.

He quite likes being rocked on the bouncy ball I used when pregnant but it's hit and miss.

We've seen a cranial osteopath (thought he might have issues due to forceps), an IBCLC who ruled out a tongue tie and said everything was great and saw the GP too who said nothing was wrong with him. Hes still so unsettled. He seems to have some painful gas sometimes but otherwise we don't know how to make him happy.

When does it get better? It's enough to put me off ever wanting another! Desperate for advice or reassurance at this point.

@urrrgh46 I have so many questions! Full of awe and admiration - 9 babies!!!

It's so hard. My son was like this and I don't think it had much to do with wind or colic or hunger - it's just how he was. I would give a big feed then stick in sling, sing and walk around. Tell yourself he is fed and warm and being held, pop some headphones in if you need to. Hopefully this can become a daytime routine that he settles into. Nights are just bloody hard so you're going to have to tag team and probably not get a lot of sleep for the next few months 😴

Sending lots of empathy your way.
My first little girl was like this. I practically threw her at my husband every time he came home.
I'm on baby 3 now who's 7 weeks and although no where near as hard I think these first few weeks are a killer regardless so be kind to yourself.
Breastfeeding is wonderful but draining you're doing amazing, hang in there they'll sleep longer stretches soon.
I echo what others have said baby wear, I never got on with a sling but had a baby bjorn mini really easy to use in the house. Use with noise and walk up and down, I used to vacuum the house then look down and she'd be asleep.
I literally walked miles with my first to get her to sleep, which at the time I thought I hated but both my other babies have hated the pram and the car so I feel quite isolated, I didn't realise how important those walks where. Get out with the pram it's brilliant for your mental health and those naps.
Remember to ask for help, if someone can bounce her to sleep go upstairs and have a shower and a rest. I promise it gets better xxx

I reckon this is all 4th trimester. Some babies just want cuddles and comfort. I wouldn’t rule out safe Co sleeping, health visitors now advise it as they realise it’s sometimes the only option!

It’s totally normal for them to cluster feed for the next few weeks. For us, that meant a 6 hour period per day where she would settle in to feed non stop. I’m not exaggerating. It did end by week 6 and she was really happy and content.

Sounds like what my girl was like in this time. Until your milk supply comes in they just want to be attached to your boob, especially on an evening I found! Cluster feeding really stressed me out, I couldn't understand what she wanted, she was only settled on the boob as you have mentioned, then about 5 minutes later cried for booby again (although I didn't know it was the boob again at the time, I thought how could it be when she's just fed?!). I couldn't hear her drinking milk the whole time either so I became very upset about the fact that I thought I wasn't producing what she needed. Also, the constant arching of the back when trying to feed was very frustrating, again I think normal for newborns, but you just need to ride it out and do what you can.

Long story short, it's probably milk that your baby wants, as this is all that's settling him. Whether it be them preparing for a growth spurt, or just generally hungry, let him latch on. He might even be doing it just for comfort from you. The first few weeks your basically a milk machine and it's very tying, but soooo worth it. My girl is nearly 5 months and it's amazing now. You can do it ☺️ x

My little one was similar. Not going to lie, until about 8 weeks it was pretty rough. He was FF from birth for a number of reasons but would only settle with cuddles/rocking and feeding. We couldn't Co sleep at first as he was a small baby but about 7 weeks we did

I try to put myself in the babies shoes. You've just been dragged out of the warm womb where you didn't need to ask to be fed, was warm and cozy and now you are in this strange world that's a little colder and it's scary.

From my limited knowledge (FTM) I think the answer really is time. A great HV told me just be there for him.

He is now 5 months and a happy cheeky cooing delight.
It does get easier. There are growth spurts and other things thrown your way in-between but honestly it's 3000 times easier than at the start.

Love and hugs OP. You got this ❤