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Parenting

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Original poster

Early, On-Time or Late?

10 replies

Flockofbirds · 09/10/2022 16:18

I’m the sort of person that if I agree to be somewhere I’ll always aim to be there at least 5minutes early, be it work, school, clubs, or social engagements.

I have a friend who is always without fail late, to everything, her son is always the last child dropped to school, always late to after school clubs and / or parties…if her son is at ours for a play date they will always without fail be late to collect.

I find it not only rude & disrespectful, but it’s also very disruptive at clubs where they’ve already started and have to stop to explain to her son what’s happening etc, but my friend sees no issue with it, and just expects people / coaches / teachers to deal with it. Her son doesn’t appear to care and never rushes anywhere!

I’d be interested in other opinions - to be early or to be late what do you think?

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mondaytosunday · 09/10/2022 16:19

Agree.

SamanthaVimes · 09/10/2022 17:54

5 mins early is definitely better than 5 mins late but if it’s a social thing (eg at someone’s house) then being more than 5ish mins early is just as bad as being late

XYZ32 · 09/10/2022 17:56

I do like to be early but I am known to be late sometimes. I have 2 DC with disabilities so it's VERY unpredictable!!!

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SquigglePigs · 09/10/2022 18:01

SamanthaVimes · 09/10/2022 17:54

5 mins early is definitely better than 5 mins late but if it’s a social thing (eg at someone’s house) then being more than 5ish mins early is just as bad as being late

This sums it up perfectly for me! If we invite people round and they are more than 5 mins early I'm invariably still running round sorting out last minute things!

I think it depends on what it is to be honest. Club etc I'd aim for 5 mins before. A friends house for dinner - anything from 5 mins before to 15 mins after is fine for an agreed "7ish". Dr appointment 10 mins before, 5 at a push. School aim for 5 before at least. Train I'd aim for 15 before!! A concert or show probably half an hour before!

Allthecoloursoftherainbow · 09/10/2022 19:22

I was the kid who was always late. School, birthday parties, clubs etc (and often late being picked up too) so as well as it being annoying for other people, the child will likely notice too. I've got a bit of a complex about lateness now! I'm on time for everything.

PurplePetalPip · 09/10/2022 19:47

100% agree. I've various friends and family members who you can guarantee will be late. I find it incredibly rude and disrespectful. In the case of my sister I used to think it was organising her DC but now I've got a 14 month old and still manage to be on time and have done since he was born so it's really no excuse.

olderthanyouthink · 09/10/2022 20:36

I really struggle with time, I didn't think I can explain it well but my brain just seems to work differently* and being on time takes an incredible amount of effort so I can't really do it for everything every day or I'd collapse with burn out.

I'd love to just be in time but it doesn't work that way for me, it's nothing to do with the other people or an amount of respect.

*Pretty sure I'm neurodivergent, I didn't realise this till recently as an adult, been called lazy my whole life

Cos98765 · 16/10/2022 04:38

I agree with @SquigglePigs there are somethings i will be on time for, appointments etc but visits to family i will be more flexible and likewise if people coming to me wouldn't mind if they were later.

I have one friend who is always ontime/early which can be equally frustrating if I am working to the agreed time. I have another friend who is always extremely late which I have now had enough of after 10 years, almost drive off without her one time to make a point, ut didn't work, nothing seems to sink in or make her realise how rude it is.

Not sure what to suggest but completely get your frustration.

I can be late at times but mine i think can be to do with feeling anxious waiting or being too early so I always go for just on time or slightly late rather than early but doesn't sound like that is the case with your friend

MistyRock · 16/10/2022 06:25

I have a friend that's always late, and it was incredibly annoying when my son was a toddler, we'd meet in a coffee shop so I'd have the usual distraction things for my son. By the time she'd actually get there he'd be bored silly, I'd have had my drunk and the day is ruined. I'm always on time, it's very rare that I'm late. If I am late it's through something out of my control.

Speedweed · 16/10/2022 07:35

I would hate to make my child anxious or stressed by getting to their things late, so I'm always a bit early so we arrive unruffled and calm. I think it's properly selfish as a parent not to get your shit together when you have a little one wholly dependent on you to take them to things on time.

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