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Mum guilt

9 replies

Jolene93 · 09/10/2022 13:40

Hey, apologies for the long message to kick start this off but I just feel like I’m drowning atm and don’t know what to do.
I’m a single parent, I have absolutely no support and my child is 5. He started school last year and he’s just started Year 1 this September.
Last September I was in a job and I used all my holiday to cover the half terms and when that all dried up, I tried switching to WFH/around my son’s school hours but they rejected it, I then tried to ask my family if they could help and that was also rejected so I had to leave.

I went months without any job and relied on UC. I had no money after everything like bills and rent came out and got criticised by my family for it.
Then end of August I found a temporary job - WFH - agency work - for a utility company - I applied and got it, even though it was temporary I thought brill, get some money coming in! Perfect situation to work around school aswell as they give me an hour break to collect my son from school but then I have to work til 7, but it’s still really manageable to do things with my son given it’s WFH.

The company I work for has offered me a permanent position with them now full time WFH and I’ve happily taken it! I’m so pleased as it’s what I wanted and I can still be a mum in between!

Once again, my family have criticised me for not putting my son first and it’s made me feel like and I’m having mum guilt now because of what they’ve said.

Feel like I can’t do anything right

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Sexismdoesntrule · 09/10/2022 13:45

You can’t do anything right.

Because they don’t have ALL the facts like you do.

They only see the one choice in isolation - not the whole picture. They don’t see your bills racking up, debt racking up, car needing repairs, school shoes getting outgrown…

Since becoming a parent everyone and their dog has an opinion of what THEY think the right thing to do it, but in reality they don’t know what the right thing to do is because they are not in you position with all the facts. And let me honest ain’t nobody got time to be giving everyone a novel every time we choose something for our own lives.

Just say, oh - ok, and move on.

Rakszasa · 09/10/2022 15:05

I'm sorry you don't have supportive people around you. I think it's quite the opposite - you are putting your son first by working and doing your best. Great you found a job that allows you to work around school, just ignore your family as it seems they just wanna bring you down.

IloveGogglebox · 09/10/2022 15:09

Well done!
Please ignore the naysayers. Especially if they do not help you with your son.

I can't stand the people who give all their opinions yet don't help us day to day or financially.

You're doing great OP

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lisavanderpumpscloset · 09/10/2022 15:10

Well done you! Ignore anyone saying otherwise. The way I see it, you're doing all you can to put your son first - stand proud!

piglet81 · 09/10/2022 15:17

But you are putting your son first - you’re earning money to put food on the table and keep a roof over your heads, and you’re setting him a great example of work ethics. Ignore the negative people around you and try to spend less time with them. Congratulations on the job!

Iheartmykyndle · 09/10/2022 15:19

Congratulations on the new job! Your family sound like a bunch of arses - happy to criticise but not happy to help.

SarahWoodruff · 09/10/2022 15:22

Working to support your son literally is putting him first. Their criticisms make no sense at all. Congratulations on your job!

Jolene93 · 09/10/2022 15:37

Oh wow thank you so much everyone, all your kind messages actually mean so much! I’m grateful that you can all see it from my POV too!

OP posts:
YRGAM · 10/10/2022 12:02

Congratulations on your job news! You're doing really well, it's such a tough situation as a SP with no support around you, and it sounds like you're doing a great job of balancing everything. It's easier said than done but it would be best to let your family's criticism go in one ear and out of the other

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