Is there anyone around who uses the Pasta Jar for rewards and sanctions?

[Tommy]

can it be successful with a 4 and 6 year old?

anyone?

We have it for our 9 and 6 your old. very very sucessfully here.

50 pastas (worth 10p each) in a jar at the beginning of the month. At month end the remaining pasta is added up and money changes hands.

Currently it is sanctions only, but family meeting has been called to discuss implementing rewards as well. System has only been running for 2 months.

We only need to say "Pasta" and behaviour immediately improves.

Last month DD 9 got £4.30 in her hand and her wee brother got £3.90.

A whole hearted success in this house

Sounds like a good idea...I might try something similar

hmm.... we have started it a few times but it never seems to work! I think a month might be too long for our DSs so we aimed for a week, then we forget to count them up (we'd planned to do it on a Sunday afternoon and give the money etc) but then we forget so carry it over to the next week but wich stage they seem to have run out of momentum

DS1 doesn't seem to have any concept of money so was just putting it all in his money box and playing with it (and losing it)

maybe I should try it with sweets instead

how do you keep it up Iliveinhope?

I guess it just becomes a habit?

If you forget to do it - could a sticker chart help instead - that way it is in your face a bit more and the rewards don't have to be money related

we do have sticker charts intermittently (sp?) for specific things although this week that hasn't worked for DS1 either

I think he's just being very naughty at the moment

will have another think
thanks all

My 6 year old gets pocket money, but the 4 year old has a pasta jar and gets pasta pieces for positive behaviour - unexpected sharing, nice manners, doing things without prompting, that sort of thing. She gets a small present when we get to a set number - say 20 pieces. The advantage of this is that you can quite easily manipulate when you think the present should be.

We are big fans of the pasta jar!

do you take any away Anchovy? Was alking about it this week with another mum at school and she reckoned that you shouldn't take them away - only praise for the positives which I can understand but we are having problems with rudeness, being unkind to smaller brothers etc etc and at the end of our tether really!

Tommy,

I must admit I could never keep it up by myself, but DP makes sure the money is added up at the end of the month and handed out, so added incentive to the kids, we also allow them to buy crisps or sweets with the money (which we do not keep in the house).

Also when I am getting the end of my tether, I just tend to scream like a harridan tell the kids gently, that I will get the pasta jars out, and they tend to sort themselves out quicksmart.

I do agree that a month is a long time, but I feel that a week is too short. Maybe fortnightly -> thinks about it.

We used marbles in a jar. We weren't very good at it unfortunately. We remembered to take away but not to put in (bad mummy) then we'd forget to count up and DS kept putting them in his mouth and throwing them around.

I think it would work if your family has a regular routine like counting up at tea time on a Sunday for example or if you're a SAhM by our household is extremely chaotic sadly.

I'd take away - rewards and sanctions. Punishment could be toy confiscation, missing a treat

I am a SAHM and our household is extremely chaotic

we did try and do it on a Sunday lunchtime but to be honest, we were better at it in the term time - they get a pasta for getting up and dressed, one for getting ready for schol and one for walking to school nicely but when the holidays came, it all went a bit out of the window and they were just losing them.

we have done sanctions this week - taking the toys away etc but DS1 just founds other things to do - he's not that bothered about "things" IYSWIM.

I am seriously thinking about sweets actually - one bag of minstrels could be dolled out and they eat them on Sunday after lunch

Read this book first

no, i use it to store yellow lentils.

thanks expat - I do sometimes think that would be the best idea!

I've used one v. successfully with dd (4.5 yrs) recently. I tend to stress "earning" with her, rather than "reward" though (subtle difference - or I like to think so anyway ).

At first I made the mistake of having too big a jar which took ages to fill and changed it to a small one with good results. It helped her to associate a positive outcome with trying hard/changing her behaviour in specific areas such as sharing etc.

Personally, I think it works best when it is used to focus on one specific problem behaviour (it's a learning tool more than anything else) rather as a reward for general good behaviour. I occasionally used to take pasta shapes out when she misbehaved in a specific way too.

DD was very proud when she filled the jar over a three-week period and "earned" herself a small present. She still talks about what she did in order to earn it so I think the lesson has sunk in there somewhere!

I AM interested in that book though ...