Sleep Regression advice ...is this true?

[Nat888]

Going through the 4 month sleep regression and wanted peoples experiences/how they got through it/is the below true...

Basically a professional said to me that it won't end until they learn to self soothe...

My little one needs help getting to sleep. He's quite alert and struggles to nod off without a cuddle/rock. The constant waking etc is killing me a little bit though. We were at sleeping through the night so it's like a smack in the face.

I know its what a professional has said this to me but do I HAVE to sleep train/make him self soothe now? Is that the only way out of this?

FYI the professional was someone who was suggesting a sleep consultant so ... yeah..

They'll learn to self soothe in time. Nothing wrong with cuddling baby to sleep if it is working for you.
I found the 4 month one only last a few weeks with both of mine then they settled back to normal-ish sleep pattern (until 8mo regression!). I wouldn't be looking to hire a sleep consultant anytime soon if that is what is being suggested to you.

Thanks! Yeah I tolled my eyes at it a bit to be honest.. but FTM I've no clue what I "need" to do. Not ready for that yet at all to be honest

*rolled my eyes sorry

You can teach them to self settle without leaving them to cry? For us the 4 month regression lasted almost 12 weeks and only really improved once she could roll on her front to sleep and (possibly coincidentally) when I started formula feeding. During the whole things I was persistent with trying to help her self settle as well. She dropped her night feeds and started sleeping through on occasions, then consistently from about 10 months. We haven't had any of the other regressions described. Just to give an alternative experience - they are all so different!

I think getting over the four month regression is all about self settling. I felt like it did improve a bit when I stopped lifting her on autopilot at the slightest whimper - I think part of me was hoping to intervene quickly so she wouldn't wake up fully, and as well it's a very instinctual thing to lift your crying baby. But that was also after about six weeks so she may just have gotten there on her own.

Incidentally, my second never had a four month regression, after the first nearly killed us. Nowadays the eldest is a fantastic sleeper and the youngest is still up regularly overnight at 2.5. They're good at keeping you on your toes. Just do what works for you and know it will pass.

I never heard of this sleep regression until I came on here. None of my 4 seemed to have it.

Of course he needs help, he's just a tiny baby. Trust him over someone with something to sell. You sound like you know what your instincts are telling you but you're also probably shattered and that makes you easy prey. Who is the professional anyway, because medics aren't really experts in biologically normal infant sleep.

We had a tough regression and I didnt do anything differently and sleep returned. We all sleep eventually and hardly anyone outside the modern west would consider sleep training. You'll find things change all the time with sleep and its not always linear, but it will get better - promise

No you don’t need to sleep train to get over the 4 month regression. At least, not with all babies. My DS is 8 months now and regression hit his naps - he suddenly wouldn’t settle as easily and could only manage half an hour at a time, if that. One day about a month later he just snapped out of it really, started linking sleep cycles and could have two 90 minute naps a day, plus 45 minutes in the buggy in the afternoon - bliss!

He’s still largely swayed or fed to sleep at night but has self settled a few times for bedtime and the first nap, just in the last few weeks. He is sleeping through the night at the moment (I know it could change any minute - sleep isn’t linear, etc!) and he’ll do that even when he’s fed or swayed to sleep and put down when conked out. So I don’t buy into it being impossible for baby to self settle if they come out of a sleep cycle in a different place to where they started it. Self settling at the beginning of the night and during the night seem to be two different things.

Hang in there - everything is a phase!

Thank you ❤ I totally almost fell when I was told "it won't get better until they learn to self soothe" looking at my little boy thinking there is no way I can not cuddle you If you want a cuddle. I dont want to do anything differently and you're totally right - I am easy prey. FTM, tired.. its great to hear you didn't do anything differently. I'm okay with a bit of a tough time in the interim.

And thanks for all the comments. Its nice to hear I don't have to suddenly syart changing everything right now

Too tired to go through one by one but thank you all for commenting. I know I can't take him out of the crib at every movement any more and I am doing that.. being told I have no choice but to basically leave him completely at 4 months was a bit of a wtf moment though. It's great to hear form actual mums that that is simply untrue !

❤

I've had three children and have never heard of this 4 month regression. It hadn't yet been made up when my teens were babies. Can't help wondering if it is all a load of nonsense created by people who want to sell books.
What happened to Just giving your baby a cuddle until they fall asleep?
There is such a weight of expectation on mothers to have their babies 'self-soothe'. Why? That's what you're for. It's a baby, it needs you. What's wrong with that?

Just to clarify again - there are plenty of ways to sleep train without leaving your baby to cry. It might be worth having a read about gentle sleep training methods so you can help your LO learn to self settle. From what you've written it doesnt sound like the advice you've given was that bad, you might have just misinterpreted it?

The regression is not a load of made up nonsense.... I feel SO envious of those who say their kids didn't have it!!! Both my kids started experiencing this at about 15 weeks old. My eldest we did sleep training after 7 weeks of her waking every 90 minutes all night long. It worked well and in 3 days she was able to be put down for bed, cuddle her little bunny and fall asleep with one night feed. Our lives were literally transformed in 3 days -- we all got more sleep, we had our evenings back, muuuuch less frustration on everyone's part.

DS just hit 15 weeks and the nights have been hellish again (just 4 days in but I'm already exhausted) but this time I'm trying to help him learn some self-settling skills including sucking on his hand and he also likes to hold this hands together in front of him. I give him a few minutes to try and settle himself before picking him up. I don't expect him to settle to sleep at this age but I let him have a little go for practice. I still plan to do sleep training so I can put him down on his bed at night without bouncing him to sleep every night. Not sure what method yet, I'll see when he's 5.5/6 months old what feels right for him.

For me, being able to put your baby in bed and they can get themselves happily to sleep is an important skill that will last a lifetime (not all will agree and that's fair enough).

I do feel hopeful hearing others' stories that he'll eventually start sleeping longer stretches again without sleep training, but I still want to be able to put him down awake at some point so he learns to fall asleep independently.

My mum literally laughed at me when I said 4 month regression.. "that didn't exist when i had my 5 children" maybe it does maybe it doesn't. Who knows.

For me it was more being told I need to get a sleep consultant now. Like right now. Or my life will be hell forever. I'm sure at some point I'll need to do something differently but at the moment I'm okay with giving him a cuddle and rock to sleep. He is a very alert baby so he does already have trouble nodding off. Always has though since birth. It's just rhe wakings have increased.

Although last night he went 11pm-7am so feeling a bit more alive today.

I think for now while I'm able to ill keep doing what I'm doing and wait a bit longer to change anything.

Thanks as always you lovely people for your advice/comments and thoughts ❤

The 4month sleep regression isn't a made up concept to sell books. 4months and 8months are typically when you see big developmental leaps (learning to roll and then crawl/stand up etc). With most babies, although not all, new developments lead to disrupted sleep & routines go out of the window. I agree that there is a lot of focus on a baby self settling - I've had one who has done it naturally and another who still needs us there with him at 3yrs old! Have a look at Lynsey Hookway on instagram for her advice & info around sleep

I mean.. they would all get there eventually on their own in the end.. I dont know any 16 year olds who still need rocking to sleep!

I'll check that out when I'm ready to though, thank you!

I wish the 4 month regression was made up 😂 both of mine slept through the night til the 4 month regression hit then it was hell til we sleep trained at 6 months.

Has yesterday's 3month colic developed into today's 4month sleep regression? What next?

@Nat888 hi there, realise this is an old thread but came across this looking for advice in the midst of 4 month regression hell. ...little guy is 21 weeks today, night sleep was decent til 16 weeks then bam..I hoped it was just pass but it just seems to be getting worse and worse.

Like you I have been told it won't get better til he learns to self settle so I've been working on breaking the feed to sleep cycle and putting him down awake but it's certainly not yielding any results yet... Just wondered if now you're out the other side you feel you needed to teach to self settle, or you were able to just ride it out...??

Thank you 💛💛