Toddler sleep (or lack of)

[anonymousproblem]

Hi all,

I’m a mum to my 2 year old (25 months) daughter.
She was never the best sleeper as a baby, but by about 15 months she was sleeping 6:30-6:30 and I felt a lot more human.

About 2 weeks before her second birthday, she started to sort of regress. She began to climb out of her cot and protest, so I got her a ‘big girl bed’ and the first night was fine.

She then got gradually worse. she wouldn’t even entertain going to bed, and when she eventually drifted off with me holding her hand for about an hour, she’d sleep for about two hours and then come into my bed. I didn’t mind as she slept in my bed until morning so I was just happy to get some sleep.

Now my nights go like this:
7:30pm-Lay with her on the floor when she’s in her bed, wait for about 40 mins until she’s asleep
10:30/11pm-Wakes up crying, sometimes resettles until 12 and then comes into my bed

2am-Wakes in my bed screaming in her sleep, kicking out, hysterical

Repeat at 4 of screaming etc

Awake for the day by 5:30/6

Her naps are basically non existent independently, she naps in bed with me. But she’ll nap perfectly fine at nursery??

I am desperate for advise, please.

I am so tired.

Additional info:

Single mum

She’s very happy in the day, typical two year old. Very active, creative, sociable. She goes to nursery 3 times a week for 7 hours a day.

Has CMPA, Egg & coconut allergy but all controlled with diet
she goes to her Dads Friday to Sunday night. We are not on the most sociable terms, we basically hand over at the door and smile. So we are not chatty enough that I can comfortably tell him that I’m struggling with her sleep. He lives with his parents so even if she’s not great there, he has the help. So I don’t feel like I can be honest.
I would just love a hand hold or advice please if anyone can help.
thank you

Boost

Can't help you but I habe the same problem with my 2.5 year old daughter. It is exhausting. Has been going on for 6 months or so and I am broken.
Cry it our doesn't work as she just screams for hours until I give in.
She's still in her cot and happy but wakes up between 12 and 3 and just screams until I get her into my bed.
Even then it sometimes takes an hour or more for her to settle. Very restless throughout the night. So I don't get much sleep.

How long are the naps? Default sleep problem answer tends to be they’re overtired/you need to sleep train. In my daughters case it was too much/too long napping. She’d wake up furious in the middle of the night as it was night, but she didn’t want to be asleep.

Can’t help but we had the same problem. Although they’d been a very average sleeper as a baby, not ‘bad’ but not sleeping through at 2 weeks either. Sleeping through by 15 months. These shenanigans started at 2 years 7 months and coincided with the addition of the toddler bed.

We have tried EVERYTHING!

Things that had some impact:

very strict, calming bed time routine with curtains or doors closed around house about 15/30 mins for bed on the lighter evenings.

Constantly reviewing naps, reducing, taking away, adding back in etc.

Total black out in their room

Using a ‘Hatch’ sleep trainer and following one of the really great reviews of it on Amazon.

With this we got to the point of going to sleep easier at a reasonable time and waking at past 6 sometimes as late as 6:45/7. Waking during the night once.

Giving them a double bed and co sleeping was needed to help us all get an unbroken nights sleep tho.

They are 4 and we would still have issues I believe if we didn’t do these. It’s not great but they will grow out of it closer to 5/6 I feel.

How long are the naps?

We cap my 26 month old's nap at 1 hr, then she goes to bed at around 8.30pm. On nursery days when she sleeps for 1.5 hrs she won't go to sleep till 10 sometimes 😭

They are all different though - mine has always been low sleep needs.

Good luck!

Also we have a double bed in her room so I just sleep in with her

We had bad sleep for a while dS1 (4) now sleeps 7-7.

We decided to put a baby gate on his door. From 7 pm it would be bed time and he would get a book and a song. We have a light that dims over 10-20 mins.

He could do whatever he wanted in his room (I.e play) but if he wanted me to come in he had to be back in bed under the covers, being quiet. I would then use the excuse trick - oh I'm just making a cup of tea and I need to turn the kettle on, then turn it off, then put teabag in etc. However I wouldn't go back in until he asked for me, then used the next part of making tea to excuse myself.