Child’s father diagnosed with Leukaemia. Support?

[DancingQ]

So I found out yesterday my daughters father has been diagnosed with Leukaemia. We’ve been separated since she was one but he’s a big part of her life and she stays with him 2/3 nights a week. Firstly, this is a big change, she’s only 8 and I haven’t told her the full extent yet so any guidance or advise on that would be gratefully received. The positive is that the type he has is 90% curable, so there is light at the end of the tunnel l.

Also as he won’t be working he won’t be getting paid, so understandably I won’t be receiving my maintenance payments. This means I’ll be nearly £400 a month worse off. Am I entitled to any additional support, I already work 30 hours and receive a little UC to top up?

Any help or advise is greatly appreciated.

Bumping

I would strongly recommend you have a proper conversation with him about how to deal with this together.

It may be that he wants to go about it easy breezy bearing in mind the good survival rate. But he might not. And you'll both know how best your dd is going to react - some kids hear the word cancer and everything explodes, some might feel like you've excluded them if you don't use the correct terminology and explain stuff to the nth degree. How much info do you want to share about treatment/prognosis etc?

Follow HIS lead. Have a conversation with your daughter TOGETHER so that she knows you're there to support her if/when she feels wobbly.

Does he have any sick pay from work? Does he have any critical illness insurance? Obviously he's going to be in dire straights too if he doesn't get sick pay, time to tighten belts all round unfortunately.

Do you know what type of leukaemia he has? My husband also had a type that had a 90% cure rate and it was no walk in the park, the treatment was horribly gruelling, he was critically ill for months (including a 3 month hospital stay) and we nearly lost him. I was so unprepared for it and my kids were traumatised from it, in fact we've all been left with PTSD.

If you want to pm me please feel free. I would say that the charity support available is wonderful, particularly from Leukaemia Care, they have support groups and a counselling fund and a phone line you can call for advice any time.

first off you need to tell your daughter, yes she's only 8 but this will affect her too emotionally and mentally and will also affect her relationship with her dad