Is it normal for kids father ( ex) to examine toddlers close and inspect them for stains and marks? And then have a go at me when he finds one?

[inthedarkx]

So my ex is constantly having a go at me, saying I don't know how to wash clothes and that his wife knows exactly how to wash clothes and look after them but I don't. It was all because of some 'demin jeggings' were faded at the knee due to toddlerhood. They were clean, fit her and washed but said I 'can't be bothered' and I told him if he had a problem he can have some clothes for her at his place and he can change her into them. He said 'yes I will and my wife will wash them'

Then that next contact he looked up real close at my toddlers leggings examining them for stains, and then took them off and put 'his on' her.

He's made me feel like crap, I'm sick of being put down. I wash clothes on the washer like everyone else, I dry them
If the need stain remover then that's added. I have a hover candy washer, what is it that his wife has that makes her so so superior and me crap!!

All you need to feel about this is pity for his wife who has to put up with this misogyny and nitpicking.

The issue he has created is fake and it's all designed to make you feel like crap.
Don't let it work.

Lucky he's an ex, he sounds misogynistic and unpleasant.

He probably tells his wife that you are much better than him at certain things. It's to put you down, make you feel like shit. He's just an abusive twat OP, don't worry about it. Just be glad he's your ex!

Lucky you! Not married to that twat anymore.

Everytime he says it, repeat - aloud - thank god I am not your wife!

Grade A wanker. Honestly OP, this is not you, it's him. It's a tightrope to walk but you need to be firm. You will not accept this scrutiny and criticism. You are a good mum doing a good job. Don't give him any headspace. His ridiculous show is an embarrassment to him. I would give it no reaction other that mild amusement. What an arsehole!

It's his way of feeling superior and wrongfooting you. Ignore him anx be thankful you no longer live with the nitpicking SOB!

He's not trying to make you out to be a bad mother in order to get custody, is he?

'My wife will wash them'

What a joke. Ask him why he won't wash his own children's clothes...

You have a toddler together and he's already managed to get himself someone else to marry him and play house wife. That tells you all you need to know about him!

He's an idiot, and I hope his wife escapes soon.

He’s taking the piss, complaining you don’t clean them properly but he can’t even do it and has to get a grown up to do it for him. He’s a misogynist idiot. I’d be taking the piss out of him for being so useless that he can’t work a washing machine himself. Does his wife dress him too.

Oh, OP, you are well rid of him!!

His poor current wife...

Each time he said something like that, I'd laugh and say 'Thank God I'm not married to you any more, you're a complete twat.'

You are doing fine, OP! Ignore him.

evict him from your head

You're well out of it. His poor wife

He sounds really unpleasant OP. Just say "ok, whatever you think" if he comments again.

Does your toddler go to any form of childcare or any sort of playgroup?

Then simply say I put her in her childcare/playgroup clothes and if you need to change her do it at your own house.

In fact don't let him inside your house to pick your child up, hand your child over on the doorstep or even better his car.

He won't get anywhere with that.

Hes a control freak was he always putting you down

What an actual knob. I can see why he’s an ex.

my toddler was out today in last night pyjama top and dungarees on top. Then she ate an ice cream and decided to wear 50% of it

toddkers get grubby. Sometimes stuff stains. Insanity to replace when it’s outgrown in 6 months.

he needs to get a life. I suggest you internally laugh at him and pity his poor wife

soooo well rid.

I'd reply.

"Why can't you do either and rely on your wife?"

Then walk away. Tbh I wouldn't even stand their long enough to watch him inspect the toddler. And if he started immediately I'd just say "bye DD. See you on ....." then walk away. Don't even pretend to have notice what he's doing and give him the attention he's seeking.

I had this, constant nit picking and fault finding for the slightest little thing, it was a constant stream of letters and emails that I mostly ignored. Turns out it was his nasty cow new wife making the bullets for him to fire and being a total c&nt. It was borne out of jealousy and insecurity and a warped attempt to gain brownie points with my ex. Also some stupid vendetta & trying to smear me as a bad mother for a custody battle. He was such a weak wanker he went along with it. The ignoring paid off and his custody (contact) legal battle backfired on him catastrophically & cost him around 10k. Stand your ground op and stay calm as tough as it is, he wants a rise from you. Ignore him, honestly it's the best tactic. I have a sneaky feeling his marriage will crumble.