Breastfeeding issues, how long should I keep trying?

[Newmummy2209]

FTM here, baby is 3 weeks today born by c section. I know it's a common experience to struggle with BF and for milk to be delayed after c section. I'm in the situation at 3 weeks where I am trying to pump 8+ times day as my milk never 'came in' and I still get drips / a dribble each time. Without going into things that went wrong at the start (it will take too long!!), I just wanted opinions on whether there is any point continuing pumping as it's just another job on top of everything else when I'm already feeling exhausted. There isn't enough to give to my baby who is doing fine on formula and gained weight well. He breast fed initially for the first few days though not very easily and with hindsight not enough.
Anyway, I have been using a Medela Symphony double electric pump for just over a week which is hospital grade and before that a manual pump which took so long that's why I've hired the Medela. I believe until yesterday I was still getting colostrum as it was quite yellow. I was all ready to give up yesterday when the colour of the milk changed to white so I thought maybe something is happening after all. However the amount is still tiny. I had hoped that after a few days pumping the milk would naturally come in and baby would happily feed again but it's been so long he is probably already too used to the bottle. I know I should still be trying to get him to latch on as well but I don't have the energy anymore.
Part of the reason I'm still going is I feel under pressure and judged if I give up although I know it's my choice.
Is it possible I will ever produce enough milk? How long is it worth going on with the pumping (which I'm finding quite depressing)?

I tried to breastfeed for 5 weeks. I was pumping to build up supply and battling with a baby who didn’t want to latch, it was horrible. 9 months after stopping and I would rather set my tits on fire than pump ever again. I gave my breast pump away knowing if I have a second, I won’t pump.

You don’t have to try for a specified amount of time, just when you’re done and preferably before you reach the point that you would rather set your tits on fire than touch a breast pump again.

By the way, I think as soon as you start pumping to build up supply you’re onto a losing battle because you don’t have time to eat, drink or sleep. Your body needs to recover for it to sustain another life and you don’t get that when pumping.

If you’re ready to stop, then stop and just enjoy feeding. You can actually enjoy feeding your little one.

I struggled to feed mine for the first week or so and clicked to say keep trying. But reading that it's been 3 weeks and baby is thriving with formula, honestly I would stop.

Please don't keep flogging yourself for fear of judgement or shame. Baby is doing great, enjoy that, take pride in it, that you tried your best, and then give yourself some much earned rest. What you've given baby is a great start. I say this as a fully fledged health care professional.

If you want to continue then I would try and get him on your breast as often as you can and stop the pumping. It’s absolutely fine to move to exclusively formula feeding. You must be fucking exhausted. I can’t express and I ebf for 6 months and I’m still feeding my 3 yr old. I also have massive feeding issues with my youngest and moved to ff with DD1 at 6 weeks old. You need to look after yourself so you can be a good Mum.

Some people who are fine breastfeeding don’t get anything when they pump so I agree with pp, if you want him to have breast milk you probably need to feed him directly.
would also be fine to stop, you need to recover from the birth and what you are doing doesn’t give the advantages of either method.

What you can pump isn't actually a very good indication of your milk supply. Lots of women who successfully breastfeed can't get anything from a pump. Would finances allow a session with a private IBCLC? They're normally around the £100 mark and can be so incredibly helpful in resolving any issues.

I was the same. Emergency Section and my milk just never came in. I pumped and I pumped for 6 weeks. Ons say. After i pumped for another 45 mins and produced another measly 10 mls, DH said enoughs enough and we packed the pump away. She was exclusively Formula fed from then on and we were all a lot happier for it.
9 years on. The only thing I regret is spending those first precious 6 weeks obsessed with pumping when I should have been soaking up my new born baby.

I can’t get anything out of the pump either ( I used both a normal pump and hospital grade one under supervision of a lactation consultant who said I was using them correctly they just don’t work for some women!) but I do get enough off the breast to give the baby around 50% breast feeds and the rest of formula ( my supply wasn’t good enough to feed exclusively again confirmed by lactation consultant).

can you afford a private lactation consultant - if so get one who brings scales and can help you latch on baby then see how much breast milk baby is getting. That should help you make a decision!

I find doing both very handy.

Are you supplimenting with formula? Could your boobs be stuck in the 'top up trap'?
Can you pump regularly throughout the night too?
Most importantly can you pay to see a proper qualified lactation consultant - not mw or hv and get them to witness you feeding so they can help with advice xxxx
If you don't want to bf or pump then don't force yourself.
If you do want to, you have to beg, borrow and steal the best advice around as its sadly very lacking.

Just as an extra point as well...pumping is sooo much harder than bfing directly at the breast so please be really bloody proud of yourself for pumping this whole time and whilst recovering from C section too. x

The answer to your question is one only you can decide. When you have had enough it's time to stop. Your baby is thriving. You tried your hardest. If you decide now is time then now is time. I hope you are not asking because you feel under pressure to continue. How a mother feeds her baby should be her decision and not open to discussion or judgment. Wishing you all the best.

I would stop pumping and let your baby suckle as much as possible. See if that helps with supply.

Thanks for all these replies, really helpful to get other views and some lovely supportive comments. Seems maybe I've been a bit hard on myself! Also so good to hear from people who have actually been through it. Some of the advice I've had the last few weeks has just not made sense when I tried it, making me think the person giving it has never actually had this issue!
I thought on it overnight and I'm going to send the pump back, I need to make a decision and stop stressing. I need to be there for my little one.

Thank you, made me laugh a little 😅'rather set my tits on fire' 😂

If your milk has just come in, it can take a LONG time to build up enough for your baby's appetite. Pumping does help, but my word it's soul destroying.

Building up your supply is an ongoing thing really. The best way is to feed your baby; second best is to pump. It takes weeks and months, but with the right amount of work it's 100% achievable. Only you can decide if that work is too much to handle.

it wasn’t until around 3 months that I actually started getting much from pumping, yet baby was getting plenty from my boob. Even now at 6 months I sometimes get very little unless my breasts are really full when pumping yet my DS has been exclusively bf. Agree with others saying to try just putting baby on you to feed as often as possible and build supply that way. You can still top him up with formula after if he’s not getting enough. But stopping and just formula feeding is also fine. It’ll give you more time to spend cuddling and playing with baby, and catching up on sleep - and that’s good for both you and baby! Pumping and sterilising is HARD!

I had this issue of topping up with formula and constantly pumping on to produce a trickle in a bottle. On my six week drs appointment, I brought up the issue. My Dr asked if I wanted to breastfeed - I said yes it was important to me. So she said get rid of the bottles and constantly breastfeed hourly. Midwives were horrified on hearing her advice! But she was absolutely right and it worked out after a few days. I am so glad I got this Dr on my 6 week check and will be forever grateful.

As long as you want to.

There is very little benefit to BF over formula, and that cancels out if it makes you exhausted and miserable or if it affects your mental health.

Definitely don't do what I did and flog yourself over it for 9 months!

Good luck whatever you choose to do ❤️

I went through something similar with my first - he just wouldn't latch and my supply was crap.

As another poster mentioned, if breastfeeding is really important to you, seek out private help - ideally an IBCLC, ideally someone that will visit you at home. They should be able to make a personalised plan to get baby back to breast and increase your supply. HVs and MWs generally don't know enough to help with trickier situations other than very superficial advice.

I was never able to exclusively breastfeed but I went from producing <25% of my babies needs to producing around 90% with baby latching well.

if you don't want to continue that's of course okay too. I know it all felt very desperate and I got so much conflicting advice until I got an expert to come help me. Seeing the IBCLC was some of the best money I've ever spent,

That sounds hard OP. You could weigh your baby, breast feed them and then weigh again. That way you can get an idea of they're getting milk. I managed to fit mine on the kitchen scales on a flat dish with loads of towels 😅. I think some pharmacies might hire baby scales out too.

Took me a good 2 weeks to establish breastfeeding with mine (also emergency c-section both times) however I didn't try to pump until after 4 weeks and it was a struggle to get much out even though baby was obviously managing to get milk just fine. Honestly, you've given it your best shot. If its not working for you & your baby switch to formula/bottle. Baby will get all the nutrition they need either way and if it means that you are less exhausted then baby will benefit from that too. I don't know about everyone else but I'm a much better parent when I'm not exhausted! xx