Hi,
I’m looking for some advice. My daughter has just turned 4 and she has a friend a few weeks older than her. Since the pair have been 2 me and her mum have always taken the girls out together for days out. Over the past year I’ve noticed really bad behaviour from my daughters friend and it’s progressively getting worse.
It started of just snatching and not sharing with my daughter which was fine. I feel like this is normal behaviour for toddlers even though my daughter is a good sharer surprisingly. Then she would kick off over not being given something first, for example a drink even if they are identical she will always want the one my daughter has been given. I feel bad for my daughter when she’s being good and it’s as if she gets punished for her friend’s bad behaviour because we have to always let her friend have the first go or pick of everything just to prevent a tantrum or to stop a tantrum.
Recently I’ve noticed her friend enjoying hurting other children. An example my daughters party she sat on a child on the bouncy castle pinching him and wouldn’t get off him while he was crying. Also a couple days ago we was all in the car while mine and her mums backs where turned she would try to kick my daughter I noticed and told her not to but she still continued to try and kick her.
She also runs off and throws herself on the floor when she doesn’t get her own way. I feel like from my pov her mum lets her get away with this behaviour by rewarding her with something in hopes she’ll stop but the behaviour just carry’s on. I feel like she needs to be more firm and instead of bribing her and rewarding bad behaviour she either needs to give her a time out or take her home.
She also does things knowing it’s bad like drawing on my walls or hiding things and telling her mum later that she’s hid them and there gone forever at someone else’s house.
Its became unenjoyable going out with her as bad as that sounds and I feel bad for my daughter when she gets hurt or even just having to let her friend get her own way when my daughter is being well behaved.
Because we’ve done a lot since they’ve been 2 I feel like it’s a shame to stop spending time with them as they do get along but her friend will act like this continuously through out the day.
Do you have any suggestions why a child would act this way or whether it’s a disorder? I want to have a conversation with my friend about her daughter but don’t think it’s my place