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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving a breastfed baby for 5 days 😢

20 replies

Brooklily · 03/10/2022 23:01

My Uncle who lives abroad is critically ill and expected to pass in the next few days. I'm flying over with other members of my family for 5 days.
I'm worried about leaving my breastfed 8 month old son. He's staying with DH and he has taken bottles before and settles well for him. I'm going to pump regularly when I'm away to maintain supply and for my own wellbeing.
I think I'm worried that he won't feed from me when when I get back and it will be the end of breastfeeding.
Has anyway had any similar experiences and had a positive outcome?

OP posts:

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MolliciousIntent · 04/10/2022 03:40

Can't you take him with you?

ChiefPearlClutcher · 04/10/2022 04:12

Take him with you? Or don’t go?

Northe · 04/10/2022 04:38

Not at quite such a young age but I regularly has 2 week business trips from my bf son being 14 months old. I pumped when away.....although there was very little collected. Whenever I got back he went straight back to feeding with no issue. I appreciate your son is younger though.

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Original poster

Brooklily · 04/10/2022 04:59

This has happened very suddenly and my son doesn't have a passport so I can't take him.
Staying isn't an option either. If I don't go I will very likely never see my uncle again. I also want to support my mother - she is unmarried so her children are her support network.
Thank you @Northe - that's reassuring. My husband assures me he'll be fine and that he won't forget me and will want to feed when I get back.

OP posts:

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 04/10/2022 05:02

Why must you go for 5 days? Can't you just go for 2 days? You can get emergency passports. I would bring him or go for a shorter time.

nonstoprenovation · 04/10/2022 06:03

Your DH will be fine, go and be that support and I'm sorry about your uncle.

For your baby this is a tiny tiny slither of his/her life it won't ever be recalled and won't impact at all, but for the adults this a very important time.

So go spend the time you need.

Itsjustricemichael · 04/10/2022 06:06

I went to South africa on a business trip for 1 week when my son was a month old. Expressed in the shower plus pump. He was straight back on when I was home. Make sure you take pads for the leaking and be prepared to feel a bit emotional try and concentrate on the moment you are in.

Itsjustricemichael · 04/10/2022 06:06

Sorry!! 6 months old not a month!! Bad typo

Bagzzz · 04/10/2022 06:07

You may have already looked at this but can you get an emergency passport (looks like about a week) Emergency passport

Cillery · 04/10/2022 06:32

Separation will be traumatic for your child. The psychological bonding of mother and child at that age is very strong. I would either take him with you or not go

drpet49 · 04/10/2022 06:34

Get an emergency passport and take him with you

elevenplusdilemma · 04/10/2022 06:35

I had to travel for work for 3 days when DD was 8 months. It was fine. She fed quite happily when I returned. She didn't drink as much milk in my absence (we used cups as she'd never had a bottle so didn't see the point in introducing them at 8 months), but as she was a good eater (solids) we weren't worried for a few days. DH just made sure she had a lot of wet and calcium-rich foods when I was away (sloppy Ready Brek for breakfast, yogurts, custard and fruit purée etc.) and encouraged her to sip lots of water during the day.
Wishing you and your family all the best.

Sellorkeep · 04/10/2022 06:46

Cillery · 04/10/2022 06:32

Separation will be traumatic for your child. The psychological bonding of mother and child at that age is very strong. I would either take him with you or not go

Are you an actual psychologist or is that a random opinion designed to make the OP feel mum guilt? She’s got a capable DH - it could equally be a wonderful time for dad-baby bonding. But that’s just me, as an internet random guessing.

FitbyFifty · 04/10/2022 06:47

Your DH is right. Your son will be fine and definitely won’t forget you. Five days is not long at all.

Sorry to hear about your uncle.

MayThe4th · 04/10/2022 06:52

Cillery · 04/10/2022 06:32

Separation will be traumatic for your child. The psychological bonding of mother and child at that age is very strong. I would either take him with you or not go

Odfod.
op ignore this poster. A 5 day separation isn’t going to do your baby any harm.

BeeDavis · 04/10/2022 07:02

Cillery · 04/10/2022 06:32

Separation will be traumatic for your child. The psychological bonding of mother and child at that age is very strong. I would either take him with you or not go

Seriously!!!!!!!!!

Sirzy · 04/10/2022 07:07

5 days with a loving parent isn’t going to cause any damage to the baby. I don’t get what people are aiming for trying to guilt trip someone already going through a tough time.

go and do what you need to with your family, look after yourself and your son will be fine.

surreyisik · 04/10/2022 07:39

I have similar worries for my ds who I will have to leave for a few days to visit elderly parents next month.
My therapist who actually happens to be a clinical psychologist always reminds me that unlike adults very young children don't have the concept of days / time and broadly all that matters is "were the primary care givers consistently there for me?"
Besides 5 days is such a small fraction of his life I doubt he will notice the difference.
It will be fine op 💐 My SIL left both her dds at 8 and 9 months for a few days. No issues on feeding at all.

Original poster

Brooklily · 04/10/2022 08:24

I really appreciate the kind words, practical advice and sharing of positive experiences ❤
We go tomorrow so we can't get even an emergency passport, but as the flight is long haul, so 10hrs +, I think it would disrupt him more to come, especially as its only a few days with long haul flights. My dh is extremely loving and competent so I know ds will be fine.
I was just worried about him not resuming breastfeeding when I get back and some of these have posts have reassured me that it will be ok. I also reached out to a lactation consultant on Twitter who has also reassured me and given me some good advice.

OP posts:

Calphurnia88 · 05/10/2022 12:45

Cillery · 04/10/2022 06:32

Separation will be traumatic for your child. The psychological bonding of mother and child at that age is very strong. I would either take him with you or not go

I might agree if mum and dad were leaving baby for 5 days, but baby will be with dad, who after 8 months will be a well established primary caregiver to baby.

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