Do friends / acquaintances of yours discipline yourself children?

[MrsNobodyMM]

We have some friends who have children around the same age and we have become friendly because the children like to play together. All children are aged between 2 and 5.

The mother of one of DD's friends seems a bit quick to "discipline" my DD. For example if they are arguing over a toy and my DD (3) is tantrumming she will immediately start saying to my DD "you have to ask nicely or you won't be allowed" "say please/ thank you" "no that's not asking nicely" - all at the time when I am stepping in and saying those things myself. She is always ticking off my DD and what I would consider "parenting" and this isn't a case of me or DH is ignoring any behaviour, we are always right there and parenting as at the time.

Is it usual for parents of toddlers to intervene so much with other people's children? I just think if it were the other way round I wouldn't say as much to either of their children, and the comments that are made do escalate the situation in my opinion and make me feel like they don't like our DC.

FWIW the children are all typical in behaviour and we get lovely reports from nursery, this is just normal arguments over sharing toys.

Yes they did, and do and I'm in full agreement of them doing so.

If they see my child doing something they shouldn't I am glad they chime in. I cant imagine why anyone wouldnt be?

Even if you're doing it yourself? I wouldn't feel comfortable chastising someone else's child when their parent is there doing it themselves?

If I'm there and involved I don't appreciate it. If I've left DD with them then that's different and they're in charge.

Let's be honest, it's 1) annoying when friends kids aren't behaving well 2) difficult to reinforce to your children what good behaviour is if children around them are allowed to behave poorly.

Sorry, posted too early-

So I always WANT to 'remind' the other children of good behaviour but I usually bite my tongue 👅

No, but I'm quick to tell my children off. I've had to tell friends children off but that's because they are to busy chatting or drinking coffee to notice, I once had a child punch my son and his mum just sat there. Until I told her it was getting late and time to go.

God I just think I get so stuck in Mum mode that I do it instinctively. I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me not to.
I'm never mean or shout. And I wouldn't mind if someone did it to my child too, in fact I think in general it's good for other adult interactions to be like that when they're little.
So yes I do, if instinct takes over, but no I wouldn't mind if parents asked me not to.

I have no problem with other adults telling my children off if they have done wrong and I will quite happily tell other peoples' children off too.