Routine for 3 month old

[Infertilitywarrior]

I'm really struggling with getting into a nighttime routine with my 3 month old twins. The daytime routine is all good and then at nighttime it goes a bit pear shaped its as follows
6.00pm ish bottle then tummy time playing
7.30 nap (on bath days will wake them up at 8.30 to do bath but they aren't happy about it and scream the whole time)
9/9.30pm last bottle and bed
Now my problem is after the 6.30 bottle they obviously have their wake window then they nap but then if I try and wake them after say an hour they are miserable, crying, screaming and wanting bottle straight away they just want to sleep right through to their 9pm bottle but then that makes them stay awake after their bottle and messes up bedtime
They are currently going to bed around 9.30/10 and sleeping for 5 hours straight most nights but I'd like to try for longer
So really my question is what should I change/ what should I be doing so the night time routine works better?
I've tried changing times during the day but if they are hungry there's no waiting they just scream and scream 🙈

Thanks xx

What is your daytime routine like?

I used to put DS down between 7 and 8 after a feed. Dream feed before I went to bed (10-11). Night feed around 3am.

And obviously the routine changed weekly because he was changing so quickly. 😂

All children are different though so may not work for you.

I think the 8.30pm bath time is quite late. I also think you should give them bath before sleep rather than after. (Maybe it would make them tired and be ready for a longer sleep?)

I've got twins. 3 months is early and I am a routine queen. Anything for survival.

At 3 months mine were still dozing in their bouncy chairs while we had dinner, then they went down in our room after a 10pm feed.

@PurBal wake up 7.30- feed, play, nap
9.30- feed again (on demand) play nap
1pm- feed etc
3.45ish- feed then onto the routine as above
Yes they change so quickly don't they!
I can't seem to dream feed them as they ping wide awake for ages after a feed 🙈

@Tina8800 we tried it the other way round too and did it shortly after their 6pm feed in their wake window but then they still wanted to nap from about 7pm all the way until 9pm and when woken up to have a wake window before bed they were miserable aswell. It's so hard isn't it trying to find the right balance x

@AriettyHomily I thought that after I posted that I'd put routine but didn't quite mean it as rigid as it sounds. There's so many people on different forums saying they should be doing this and that and they should be in a routine and it's stressing me out as I feel I'm going to mess them up for a routine in the future I don't want to do things wrong 😭
I also see loads of people commenting online about how their 3 month old are sleeping through the night or are sleeping for like 7/8 hours and ours have done 6 hours once and it's mostly 5 hours. Not sure what's the norm xx

I'd start trying to move it around a bit, and I'd also do more milk during the day if possible.

7am up and feed
9am down for a nap 45m-1h
10am up, feed
12noon down for a nap 45m-1h
1pm up, feed
3pm down for a nap (as long as they like but up by 5pm at the latest)
5pm small feed/half size bottle
6.30pm bath
7pm feed and down
10pm/11pm as soon as they stir very quick feed and no nappy change unless they've pooped
When one wakes in the night, feed them both.
Wake them at 7am and begin again

Obvs it takes time to get to this point, but more milk in the day = less milk at night and better sleep patterns in the day = better sleep at night.

Soon the longer nap will move to the middle of the day.

At 3 months ours was starting to want to go down for the night between 7 and 8. I'd change your whole routine so that you start bedtime routine with bath around 6.30, feed around 7 and asleep around 7.30. She did as you describe and would sleep a 5 hour ish chunk, fed, slept another 3 hrs ish, fed, then slept another 2-3 hours and was up for the day between 6 and 7. It sounds like they are getting cross because they are settling into their deep sleep and then you are waking them up?

At 3 months you're mere weeks away from the 4 month sleep regression which can really affect their sleep, so it could be a bit up and down for the next little while. Sounds like you're doing a great job so far!!!

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz
Thank you i'll try and move it about a bit see what happens x

@MGee123 yes exactly! They are getting into a deep sleep then we are having to wake them for bath or awake time before bed. I'm going to try and move things around a bit and see what works x

@Endlesslaundry123 thank you! Needed to hear this!!! It's so hard with trying to do the right thing and wanting the best for them. Constantly questioning if I'm doing enough xx

By three months this was our loose routine.
Wake up 6:30 ish., Large feed, play, bed again by 8:30am ish

Wake 10:30, feed, play etc. back to bed by 12:30.

Wake up 2:30, feed, play, maybe a bath, Bach to bed at 4:30 for a power nap.

Wake up around 5:15, feed, play, another feed before bed at around seven thirty.

Then one feed overnight sometime between 1 and 2am.

Six feeds overall, 3 day naps.

Watching this thread as also have a 3 month old. For those who had babies going to bed from 7-8 pm how did you deal with needing to to be in the same room? Did one of you go to bed that early too? Or did you do the initial part of the night in the living room then transfer to the bedroom?

@trrk when baby was small I would keep him with me in the living room until I went to bed. Once he was older (12 weeks) I started going to bed when he went to bed as he didn't sleep as soundly in the living room and I know soon he'll be going through his sleep regression and I'll need all the sleep I can get.

Sometimes I leave him in bed with baby monitor on to spend an hour with my partner but I check on him quite a bit.

We went against the guidance and put her upstairs when she settled to sleep until we went to bed around 9pm. Honestly - that 1.5-2 hours to ourselves was bliss after a very intense first 3 months and she slept better without us disturbing her. Fully aware it's against guidance. All other SIDS factors were low risk. We made a decision we were comfortable with.

@StClare101 that sounds like a good routine think we need to tweak ours a bit x

@trrk that's where we have a bit of a problem too because if I keep them in living room with me they get disturbed by the dogs or when I put them in their cot they then wake up and want feeding. We live in a flat so I'm thinking of putting them in the bedroom which is next door to the living room and using a baby monitor too it would only be for about an hour and then I would go to bed anyway x

@MGee123 and what time did your little one sleep until by doing it that way? Was it a good chunk if sleep? X

Did anyone do a smaller feed at the feed before the bedtime one so that they actually drunk all of bedtime bottle? If we give them 4 ozs they never seem to drink the full bottle of bedtime milk and that then means they wake up after a shorter time wanting milk again x

We had a sensor and video monitor which I realise is not a 100% guarantee but it gave us peace of mind, particularly when we had two false alarms because our first baby slept slightly on his side (was always put to bed on back) so twice the sensor couldn’t detect his breathing because his back wasn’t fully flat on the mattress. Scared the crap out of us but we also knew the sensor worked!

Yes. Our 5:15 feed was smaller and then the 7pm bottle was bigger.

Until the regression hit she would settle around 7. sleep for 4-5 hours, feed, sleep another 2-3 hours, feed, sleep another 2-3 hours then be up for the day between 6 and 7. She was having 4 naps a day at that age I think.

Once the 4 month regression started she still tended to do the big first chunk of sleep and then woke every 45 minutes from 11 ish onwards until she was up for the day anywhere between 5 and 7. This went on for 12 very long weeks...

@MGee123 oh god! Really 🙈 every 45minutes please I'm praying that doesn't happen to me 🙈😭
At the moment one twin is sleeping so much better at night and could probably sleep an hour or so longer but I don't want to risk not waking him to feed at same time and then he wakes up shortly after and then I'm just awake loads
I stress myself out so much with routine and I'm thinking maybe I just need to relax a bit and let them take the lead to a certain extent for now and then as they get a bit older get into more of a routine xx