"New Kid" starting trouble at school

[MrsSnape]

My son has often been a victim of bullying. It started in reception and carried on all the way through year 1, year 2 and then reached a peak in year 3 where I very nearly took him out of the school. In an attempt to increase his confidence I enrolled him in karate and the bullying stopped, DS changed completely and he gained new friends just through having more confidence.

So, towards the end of year 3 and since he started year 4 everything has been fine, he now likes school.

On monday however a new girl started the school. First day he came home saying he liked her, tuesday he came home saying he wasn't too sure anymore and wednesday he came home saying he hated her and she was trying to take over the class. She is apparantly a gobby type, has "recruited" half the class into some kind of "gang" who go around winding certain people up and being mean.

DS has yet again fallen victim to it. She takes his coat off the hook and kicks it around (encouraging the others to do it too), calls him "fat arse" and basically follows him around being mean.

Tonight he came out of school all defensive saying that she had wrecked the boys football game and made up a song about him and any friend of hers is an enemy of his.

Now, a girl that he normally walks home with has now joined this "gang" and her and another girl were shouting at DS, calling him "dickhead" and generally just annoying him half way home tonight. Then when the other girl went her seperate way, DS's former friend began saying she wasn't his enemy and that she just wants to be friends with the new girl...she then added "anything you do to her, you do to me" so DS basically gave her hell for the rest of the way home and she ended up in tears.

I know all this sounds like childish falling outs but I simply will not tolerate any bullying starting up again, not when he was doing so well.

But I don't want to over-react either.

So, do I put this down to "playground stuff" or take it as a warning that bullying is about to become a problem again?

They're 9 by the way.

what a horrible girl! tbh it sounds like the rest of the class are a little afraid of her and probably find it easier to side with her. i reckon in a couple of weeks they'll see her for what she really is.

i would talk to the school though - it needs to be dealt with quickly by them.

agree, talk to the school before this escalates. Any bullying should be dealt with asap - and this is bullying, not a one-off falling out or minor comment. It's the recruiting other kids that is the really worrying aspect. Teachers need to know about it so they can sort the little brat out.

You might also find Kidscape helpful - charity that works to prevent bullying. Loads of good info.

I wouldn't put it down to playground stuff (tho bits of it might be) - it would ring alarm bells w. me.

Quite difficult to deal w. tho. I think all you can do is speak to the teacher about specific incidents (like the coat kicking or name calling) with specific named children - rather than a more generalised version of this new girl stirring up trouble (if this is the case it will soon be apparent to everyone, anyway).

I'd also try and help your ds manasge his response to this. Obviously he doesn't have to just smile sweetly whilst picked on but 'giving her hell for the rest of the way home and she ended up in tears' doesn't sound the best way to handle things either. (Not meaning to sound unsympathetic to your ds - I was the perpetual victim of bullying b/w ages 8 and 13 and it is a truely horrible place to be).