Advice needed on contact with ex partner who’s a cocaine addict.

[Fedup2387]

Hiya, I posted on here last year regarding what I should do with a toxic relationship with my ex partner who’s a cocaine addict. Obviously the advice given was to leave- which I did. We have 3 children together who absolutely worship the ground he walks on so I’m torn and feeling frustrated about what to do. I kicked him out in the middle of July and he has since rented a luxury 2 bedroom apartment for him and “his children”. However, he has given the room away to his friend- another drug user and although I haven’t been there, when I have rung to speak about the children l, he has been high on drugs ( again) and lied about it (again) and instead of this place being a suitable home for him and his children, I am viewing it as no more than a batchelor pad for him and his friend to take drugs in, have women back to and do what he wants. He dissapeared and hasn’t seen or paid for his children since July until my eldests birthday in September when he turned up whilst we was out and left the whole front porch covered in presents and cards declaring that he loves and misses his kids more than anything. He has been asking my daughter on her phone if they can come and stay at daddy’s house next weekend so I said all contact should be made from his sister speaking to me rather than putting that onto an 11 year old and when he’s said that’s she’s excited to go there. I don’t want them to go there as I don’t think it’s a suitable environment, although he takes drugs he is some what of a half decent clean person who works and takes care of himself but so what, what if he hasn’t cleaned enough or dropped something that the kids can touch, and the fact he hasn’t paid 1 penny over the last 3 months or seen them then expects to turn up like Santa Claus and have them for a leisurely weekend just makes my blood boil, I have got in debt trying to feed and clothe them and just need thoughts on what to do because the children love the ground he walks on and I’m going to be painted as this evil woman that kept them away. Thanks for reading and sorry for the essay xxx

I’d see a solicitor if I were you. And document the issues with drugs etc.

would his sister supervise contact?

If I laid the law down and said that the sister has to supervise they would probably laugh at me from behind the scenes, agree, and then not stick to that at all. I’m so frustrated.

Ask him for a drugs test

Yes that’s what I was thinking also, but even if he is clean and ok I am still not comfortable with the fact that because his friend lives there one of them may have dropped something or anything along them lines, I do doubt it because he is a clean person but I certainly don’t want to take any risk obviously.