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Parenting

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Original poster

Son being manky

9 replies

MrsSnape · 25/01/2008 13:50

My son is 9 next month and he seems so unconcerned with hygiene or his appearance. He doesn't brush his teeth if he can get away with it even though kids at school have commented that he has bad breath and that his teeth are yellow. He puts clothes on that are smeared in stains, food and dirt and doesnt seem to care that he looks a mess and will probably be picked on for it. For instance this morning he put a school jumper on that had tomato sauce all over it from last night. I told him to take it off, put it in the wash and put a clean one on and he sighed and moaned "oh do I have to? it will be ok, its not that bad, nobody will notice" etc...

He doesn't wash properly and often goes to school with juice or his breakfast all over his face. I pointed out to him that he's the only one in their class that goes to school with a dirty face and he replied "so?"

All the other kids seem so grown up to him, he still acts like a 5 year old and then wonders why kids call him "tramp" etc.

He comes home from karate stinking of sweat and refuses to get a shower.

Am I expecting too much from a 9 year old boy?

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Set a reminder

WestCountryLass · 25/01/2008 13:55

I think you are expecting too much for him to be aware of this himself and that you have to get on his case and tell him what is and isn't acceptable.

Surely you don't let him leave dirty clothes around to be put on again? When he gets undressed, tell him to look at the clothes and if they are dirty to put them in the wash basket and if not to hang them up for the next day.

Don't let him get away with not brushing his teeth, tell him to and make him do it, tell him what will happen if he doesn't brush them (they will rot and fall out, he will need fillings, his breath will stink).

When he leaves for school tell him to look in the mirror and check himself, make him use a flannel if he is grubby.

Original poster

MrsSnape · 25/01/2008 14:09

I do tell him to check his clothes when he takes them off and half the time he says "yes, they're clean" and shoots off upstairs only to put the offending clothes back on the next day filthy.

I warned him about his teeth, he doesn't seem to care, he lies and says he's brushed them when he hasn't I just thought he's show a bit more concern by now

OP posts:

sakurarose39 · 25/01/2008 14:13

Mrs S., my 8 year old (9 in April) is EXACTLY the same. I really have to be strict about teeth brushing as he already has had a few fillings, and he will often say he's brushed them when he blatantly hasn't...sigh. I don't think his schoolmates really say much, luckily, they are not much better!
He hasn't washed his hair properly for ages now, but sometimes dunks his head in the bath, and then leaves it to dry so he smells like a wet dog. Ewww.
Does yours hate wearing socks too? DS will leave for school in the morning, with breakfast round his mouth, sleep in the corner of his eyes (won't wash his face!) hair all over the place, no socks, coat covered in mud from the day before...he looks like some kind of street urchin
I guess its more embarrassing for us than it is for them...hoping he will grow out of it...

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fizzbuzz · 25/01/2008 14:14

Mine was like this and still is sometimes and he's 14

Keep nagging

Original poster

MrsSnape · 25/01/2008 15:54

Yes, mine takes his socks off too why do they do that??? I hate my feet being cold! LOL

He also resembles something out of Oliver Twist.

OP posts:

serenity · 25/01/2008 16:13

I saw your other thread - do you think it might be connected with the bullying? If he's got bad self esteem then maybe he doesn't really feel that there is any point in being smart/clean etc? Like anorexia/self harm (not that I'm comparing it directly) it's something he has control of whilst things around him are out of control. How much of the new girl bullying him has to do with his appearance, or has it got worse simce she started?

MrsMuddle · 25/01/2008 16:46

I think this is quite common with 9 year old boys. In a few years time, when they want to look good (or at least not stink!) for girls, their hygiene level rockets. My DS has gone from one grudged bath a week, to 5 or 6 showers - and he even sets his alarm to get up early to have a shower before school?

You may come to realise, however, that the smell of boy sweat is preferable to the smell of lynx. [vomit emoticon]

noddyholder · 25/01/2008 16:50

My ds is 13 and just like this although will stink us out with lynx if tehre is a girl he likes within radar.My ds is mildly dyspraxic and I ahve asked if this is part of it but I am not sure tbh he may just be lazy.He has always been teh same though and ketchup covered sweatshirts are common here

cornsilk · 25/01/2008 16:57

My ds is like this as well! I have shown him pictures of bad teeth on the internet but it doesn't bother him. He's quite young for his age so I get one of his toys to brush his teeth for him. (Obviously it's me holding the toy doing a squeaky voice!) I put light sticks in the bath to encourage him to get in. Ds takes him swimming once a week specifically to get him under the shower and accidentally drops a bit of shampoo on his head.

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