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18 month old hitting me then laughing

18 replies

Beansandvodka · 30/09/2022 15:28

I tell her hitting is unkind but she just continues.. why is she doing this?

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ChatterMonkey · 30/09/2022 15:31

Because shes 18 months old...

Just keep firmly saying no/diverting her attention elsewhere when she does it. Dont react or cause a fuss, because she will connect the behaviour with getting attention.

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Wfhandbored · 30/09/2022 15:33

She's a baby still. She doesn't understand things like empathy yet and just likes the reaction. Just keep a firm no and distract distract distract! We're going through the same and it's taking a while but I do think it's getting less!

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Kiktikat · 30/09/2022 15:33

Because she’s an 18 month old baby

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mistermagpie · 30/09/2022 15:40

Normal, sorry! It's just a game and at that age you telling them off is just 'mummy doing a silly voice' to them, they don't care.

Distract or move away from them every time they do it. That's basically all you can do.

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YellowTreeHouse · 30/09/2022 15:43

Any reaction is reinforcement, so because you are reacting, she will keep doing it.

Model kind and gentle hands and she will eventually understand.

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whatshouldIdo2022 · 30/09/2022 15:49

My DD went through a phase of this, she once absolutely belted me round the face then thought it the funniest thing ever. If I got really cross with her she would keep trying to do it again so I just used to say no, we don't hit people, it hurts mummy then go right away from her and/or engage her in something else so 'right then, shall we read a book?' etc. She hasn't done it for ages now.

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Mrsjayy · 30/09/2022 15:53

She doesn't understand kind or unkind yet but she does understand reaction which she is getting its just a funny game to her say no or ouch and walk away even just ignoring and diverting her attention elsewhere she will stop eventually. As "they" say its a phase.

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SalviaOfficinalis · 30/09/2022 15:53

They don’t understand that other people have feelings etc at that age, so don’t realise it hurts.

They just think it’s a funny game. I really don’t think there’s much point explaining it’s not kind at this age, they just need to know it’s not going to be tolerated.

My DS (17 months) has only done it a couple of times but my response is to say “no” firmly and physically stop him from doing it. If I’m holding him this might include putting him down.

And then distract/move on to something else. Give it minimal attention so it doesn’t become a game.

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PutinIsAWarCriminal · 30/09/2022 15:56

She enjoys the reaction. If she does this put her down and turn away for a couple of seconds, so she learns that hitting is not rewarded by attention or a reaction.

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Luredbyapomegranate · 30/09/2022 16:27

Because she’s a toddler.

Be more active in responding and don’t expect her to understand kind/unkind, she can’t possibly,

Say No, that hurts mummy, very firmly but unemotionally. Put her down. Get up and move away, unload the dishwasher or make a cup of tea while ignoring her, and then come back as if nothing is happening.

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UWhatNow · 30/09/2022 16:29

What @Luredbyapomegranate said. Lack of smiley attention all of a sudden works far better than words.

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AlwaysGinPlease · 30/09/2022 16:42

Omg she's a baby 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

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Beansandvodka · 30/09/2022 16:57

AlwaysGinPlease · 30/09/2022 16:42

Omg she's a baby 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Omg I’m sorry I asked. How am I supposed to know it’s normal if I don’t 🤷🏼‍♀️

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gamerchick · 30/09/2022 17:01

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 30/09/2022 15:56

She enjoys the reaction. If she does this put her down and turn away for a couple of seconds, so she learns that hitting is not rewarded by attention or a reaction.

This. I used to stand up, turn my back and ignore them. No reaction, no point. They don't know at this age. It's something that gets a reaction. They like making things happen.

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AmyandPhilipfan · 30/09/2022 17:03

Don't worry. I thought I might be raising a child with psychopathic tendencies when at a similar age mine hit me and laughed if I said ow. She's 5 now and doesn't hurt me on purpose and is apologetic if she ever does it by accident.

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AuldReekie1905 · 30/09/2022 19:26

My son did this at the same age and he's the most timid, sweet little thing 😅 he's 2 now and doesn't hit at all. (Yet anyway). I would just repeat "gentle hands". And when he didn't stop, I'd put him on the ground gently and move him away from me and distract or then ignore it. Stayed calm. They think the big reactions are hilarious so stay calm and distract. It only lasted a week or two and he hasn't done it since.

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Beansandvodka · 30/09/2022 20:48

gamerchick · 30/09/2022 17:01

This. I used to stand up, turn my back and ignore them. No reaction, no point. They don't know at this age. It's something that gets a reaction. They like making things happen.

thanks. Will try this.

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lavenderfine · 01/10/2022 09:32

It's normal at this age, I wouldn't worry about it. When DS did this I used to say no hitting hurts mummy, we use gentle hands and modelled this my giving him a rub on his arm or cheek. Then I just distracted him by getting a toy or a book or something. If he wouldn't stop I just put him down and moved away, repeating that hitting hurts and we have to use gentle hands.

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