Help!

[marymoocow]

Have 3 dc, ds nearly 10, dd 7, and ds 4. ds1 and dd have never been the most confident of children but with encouragement have joined in activities and been happy to leave me. ds2 was up until about the end of November, the most confident child I knew. He was fine about being left at Nursery, and even more keen to go to school. He would trot off quite happily wherever we were.
However, since November he has suddenly started to become hysterical when I leave him. It started off where he didn't want to go into Sunday School and wanted to stay in church. This has since spread to the occasional outburst at school (including today ), and also at gymnastics which he has recently started (but has been going there since birth and knows everyone iyswim). He even did it at my parents at the weekend when they were taking him to the pantomime. Trouble is once I have gone he settles straight down and is happy - he was really enjoying himself in gymnastics last night. So why has he just started to do this, and how can I get him to stop?
Have been thinking of getting some parenting books, but didn't know what to get, and then thought that i would probably get as much sense from you all [hopeful].

So in brief (which i probably should have done to begin with ), has anyone got any pearls of wisdom or been through this with a child of his age?
Thanks

Maybe I should have put a please on the end of my subject - or resort to the books after all

maybe i should have put this on behaviour/development. Will put a link over to there. Was sort of hoping it would be a parenting problem rather than behavioural, but will see.

I haven't been through it but could a sticker chart help?

Every day he goes to activities and doesn't cry = sticker, end of week = small treat, end of month = big treat (something like cinema/bowling)

Seems like he needs a bit of incentive to leave you seeing as he is fine once you are gone?

Must be awful to witness though - DS went through a crying stage at nursery when he was younger (the normal "don't leave me" stuff!) and that was bad enough...

thanks, have tried promises of treats etc. but it doesn't work so far anyway. any other ideas would be gratefully received

sounds like he's very anxious about something, I think you need to try and take him to open up and tell you what's going on.

If he settles down shortly after you leave him, then I wouldn't worry; it doesn't sound like anything nasty has happened to him; most likely, he has just reached a stage in his development where he is going through a bit of separation anxiety. This is very common in reception; my dd was the same. Suddenly, they're mature enough to realise that they're on their own. I would make the parting as brisk and low key as possible as that is the part he has trouble with. Organise for another adult to take over (maybe have a word with teacher or LA), say goodbye briskly and cheerfully and then move off quickly. If he sees you upset and guilty, he will take his cue from you and assume that something nasty really is about to happen.