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How sensitive are your sons.. age 10

9 replies

Changeduser · 30/09/2022 09:31

my son often gets emotional whilst talking
his eyes become wet but he tries to hold it in. He will stutter or mumble too.
this could be when he’s talking about things like old friends, moving school,
his new friend doing something nice,
or if he’s being praised or a teacher saying something nice to him

his dad says i need to treat him more manly/ tough etc

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MolliciousIntent · 30/09/2022 09:49

Tell his dad to shut the fuck up. Honestly, there is nothing so harmful to boys and young men as being told that experiencing and expressing emotion is "wrong" or "unmanly" (and therefore wrong).

As adults, we all know far too well the misery of trying to have a relationship with a man who is incapable of expressing or processing or communicating his feelings. And we all know how angry and unhappy those men are, deep down. You do not want that for your son.

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Dacadactyl · 30/09/2022 09:57

I would be concerned about that OP.

Does he say why he gets upset? Have you asked him if anything is happening that he doesn't like? Have you noticed that it gets worse before/after certain activities etc?

What is your home situation like and has he moved around a lot? Have school noticed it too? Has he always been like this, or is it a change in his behaviour?

My son is the same age. He is more likely to get angry than upset about stuff e.g if he gets told off, he will be cross rather than upset. Now and again he will get upset, but its more if he feels a sense of injustice e.g. being told off for something that he feels isn't his fault.

I don't agree with your dad. I do think you should try to get to the bottom of it though.

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Changeduser · 30/09/2022 11:20

No if i ask him if he’s crying he says no, sometimes laughing sometimes not.
ther is some sen too but i was thinking could it be hormonal
he is generally very laid back, happy playing with his friend etc…
school havnt mentioned this but he is being assessed at the minute for various things

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Raidtheice · 30/09/2022 11:22

Mine gets upset and cries about stuff I wouldn't get upset about. He is autistic.

Rather than telling him to stop crying you need to help your DS express and manage his emotions.

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pjani · 30/09/2022 22:00

He sounds like a sensitive soul! I would just love him for the person he is, and wouldn’t try to change anything. Trying to change anyone is a bit of a fool’s game anyway, what it really means is trying to make him hide who he is, or feel ashamed, or mask his emotions. Others will love a sensitive person too.

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FireballTwenty · 30/09/2022 22:07

My autistic ten year old is like that, he just has big emotions he's not able to regulate yet. We have empathy and use kindness and compassion with him.

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Changeduser · 30/09/2022 22:13

@FireballTwenty thats what i do but his dad feels im treating him like a girl

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FireballTwenty · 30/09/2022 22:28

@Changeduser I put that as I didn't want to end up making an attack about the dad's sexist views and outdated understanding of parenting. But it's also so sad he thinks only girls are worthy of having kindness and understanding shown towards them.

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crimewatcher · 08/10/2022 10:46

@Changeduser my boy was like that all his life. Very expressive eyes, he would blink a lot or well up if being praised or getting put on the spot in school would result in tears sometimes. He's still a very caring boy and still has his moments, but he has learned to keep control of his sensitivity now. My DH never told him to man up, even though he did talk to me about it in private at times and wished he wouldn't get so upset so easily as he worried he would get bullied in high school. (He didn't)

Anyways, he's grown up now and joined the police and I know he's a better cop because he CARES.

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