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Parenting

Should I be worried?

29 replies

DoubleBuggyDriver · 29/09/2022 20:01

I have a DD who’s 16 months old. When I was 3 months postpartum, I found out I was pregnant again. I had horrible PND and I also had terrible pelvic girdle pain which I had physio for during my second pregnancy. I could barely walk across the road to the shops it was so bad.

I then had DS full term in April but he spent 6 weeks in NICU. In July I was told that he has a rare genetic condition. Since he was discharged from hospital we’ve had weekly appointments which have calmed down a bit but DS has weekly physio and OT. I’ve had PND again which I’m now on medication but a lot has happened in the last year and a half.

Here is my question/issue. DD doesn’t really speak much as in, she doesn’t say real words such as ‘mama, dada’ etc. I stayed inside so much when I was pregnant with DS, I’d let her watch TV from as soon as she woke up until bedtime. I only took her to a few baby groups but not much so she’s never socialised with kids of her own age.

I’ve now finally started to take her to toddler groups twice a week so she get’s to play around and just be a toddler really. I’m also hoping that she picks up a few words along the way. Both my mum and MIL have said that they’re concerned about DD as she doesn’t speak much. Apparently we were all saying words at her age such as ‘mama’ and ‘come’ and would point at things they want etc. DD will say things like ‘babababa’ and just little baby words but nothing more.

Should I be worried here? I didn’t think 16 months old have much to say but my mum keeps banging on about it to the point where my anxiety is getting so much worse. I’m now thinking is there something wrong with my child. Can I ask when your child started to say a few words or if you have a 16 month old, how many words do they say? What can I do to help her?

Sorry if this is jumbled, I know I’ve failed her so far but I’m actually starting to stress about this. Thank you

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DoubleBuggyDriver · 29/09/2022 22:40

Sorry just read some more comments again. One thing I’ve always done is constantly speak to DD about what I’m doing. ‘Do you want an orange’ and then I’ll show her the orange. ‘Should we get X from the fridge’ etc.

She doesn’t have her own words for things either. She’ll literally just say ‘babababa’ whilst playing her little games etc

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Devilishpyjamas · 29/09/2022 22:43

Books are great but don’t beat yourself up over that. The best thing you can do is follow where she is looking and comment. So if she looks at a cat then say ‘oh look at the CAT, what a fluffy cat, meeow’ or something similar. But if her attention is taken by a tree then comment on that, don’t redirect her attention to the cat oh the other side of the road.

Following what her attention is captured by and talking about it is much better than redirecting her attention to picture at this stage. if you go down the book route I’d go for feely ones that can be crinkled and scratch and you can comment on that.

also comment on her movement - esp when she starts doing things like jumping. Bring your language to what she is doing/experiencing.

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whatshouldIdo2022 · 29/09/2022 22:55

First thousand words was really good for it, but as PP say don't beat yourself up about it. My DD was just obsessed with books, she'd pin you down for hours if you let her. I always worried it was because I didn't give her enough attention or cuddles when she was younger..we all have our own sticks we beat ourselves with Flowers

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yougotthelook · 30/09/2022 00:32

DoubleBuggyDriver · 29/09/2022 22:35

Thank you again for all the comments.

DD will respond to her name and follow you if that’s what you’re asking. She loves playing with her toys and is very interested in them. She doesn’t ever point to anything but now that I think about it, she’s never been promoted too. I had PND so badly that I was literally struggling to survive day to day. I’ve probably read a book to her less than 20 times in her whole life, it’s so awful.

So when people are saying does she point to a cat if you say ‘where’s the cat’ when reading a book, she doesn’t even get asked that as I’ve never really read to her. It’s only in the last month since I’ve been on antidepressants do I actually have the energy to be a proper parent and do what’s right, that’s why I feel as if I’ve failed her.

I have storybooks but don’t have books that have clear pictures which focuses on what something is such as an apple, bus, car etc. I’ll definitely focus on that from now on. There’s so much to do with both kids and I’m really struggling to keep my head above water. Thank you for the kind and helpful comments

You haven't failed her OP x
Only good parents think they might have failed their kids
Bad parents don't give a shit
Don't be so hard on yourself x
You're a great mum to care so much xxx

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